The Beast Within
by Jessemudflap
Summary: After Terra's stone death, Beast Boy has been acting strange, almost like an...animal. Is the beast within him taking over his human side? And why does it seem as if Raven is the only one who can stop it? BBxR and some RxSt
1. Default Chapter

The Beast Within

_Warning_! **Read this so I don't get anyone mad at me. Beast Boy will not be acting like himself! He will be vulgar, obnoxious, temperamental, fierce, like a, well, beast. His mood is the whole point of the story, and I'm sorry I changed his attitude, but I think that, if this were to happen, this would be the cause. I wanted to caution you that Beast Boy _will not_ be acting as he usually does. He will be almost like...Raven, except he can show any type of emotions...does that even make any sense at all? Oh well, anyways, I hope you enjoy this.**

**I always come up with other stories when I am writing. Darn. This might be why _Is This The End?_ is taking so long. Well, no, scratch that, what is taking so long is school and homework and babysitting and, well, you get the point. I will try to get another chapter done on that story. Anyways, again, I hope you like this.**

God he missed her, more than anything. Terra. She had been on his mind since her 'stone death' and Beast Boy had not been the same since then. He would try to be a comedian, a joker, but his heart was never in it, and he knew that Raven, the only one, who noticed. For some reason, he felt pure rage toward her, and had no idea why. Maybe it was because she always brought him down, because she always rejected him, made him feel like a fool. _Calm down Beast Boy_, he told himself, stretching out his arms, then folding them under his head with a sigh. _It's just the way Raven is_. _She can't help it that she can't feel any emotions, and takes those down who could feel, like Star and me. Selfish bitch_. Beast Boy blinked, baffled. _Okay...that's a new one_. _Where the hell did that come from? That it is true...oops. _But, after the anger he felt, the raw heat of it, he would feel a surge of pure desire, which was a different heat than the rage, and it always freaked him out. Man, if Raven knew what and _how_ he though of her, he would be six feet under in no time.

Damn, he was so confused. At first, when he first met her, he though he loved Terra more than anyone, but when she betrayed him and his team, he didn't know what he felt for her anymore. And now, the whole thing with Raven was driving him insane. One moment, he would give anything to just wring her slim neck, then, _bam!_ He's having fantasies that he should not be having, especially about Raven, of all people.

With a sound between a sigh and a growl, Beast Boy sat up, crossing his legs. Damn these feelings. Damn them to hell! Why couldn't he have a normal life? Well, a normal love life. I mean, come on! He loved a girl who betrayed him to be his teams' worst enemy, and now, he was having fantasies about a girl who couldn't feel, and saw him only as a joke. Maybe it would be better if he couldn't show any emotion like Raven. _God, I swear, every thought I have has the name 'Raven' in it. Maybe I should ask Robin about it. Yeah, I think I will. I bet he has the same feelings that I am about Star—wait! Nope. That can't be right. Robin is in _love _with Starfire. I am so not in love with Raven, the prude...damn. There I go again. Insulting her. I guess a part of me doesn't like her. But why?_ With a careless shrug, he jumped up, and headed for the weight room, where Robin was bound to be, dragging his feet slowly.

He sighed again. Why were emotions so mystifying? Especially love. Love, apparently, was Beast Boy's worst enemy, for what he loved, never loved him back. He had no idea if Terra had loved him, but if she had chosen to deceive him, then...she must not have had the same feelings. And Raven, geez, he didn't love her, but he did, oh, how do you say it with out seeming perverted? Oh, right, lusted after her. Lust. Not love. Never love.

He turned the corner, ran into someone, and went flying back on his butt. With a incoherent curse, he glanced at the person who had knocked him down, and was also sprawled out on the floor. Raven. The person who haunted his thoughts relentlessly, day and night, no matter where he was. Perfect. Just perfect.

Raven glared, and was stunned when Beast Boy glared back. "Excuse me." He muttered, not at all apologetic, and the look he gave her was one of aggravation and frustration. Bemused, she watched him scramble up to his feet. He stood up, walking right past her, not even bothering to help her up.

"Thank you for you hospitality, Beast Boy." She said sardonically, though her voice was monotonous, as usual.

"Whatever." He mumbled. She raised an eyebrow at his attitude, shrugged it off as she pulled her hood up, and stood up, dusting herself off. Since he was still in audible range, she asked, "What is with you," and wondered why she even cared.

"None of your damn business, Raven. So, bug off." Though he didn't say _bug off._ Eyebrow still raised, she walked off, puzzled and cursing herself for being troubled about his strange behavior towards her.

Beast Boy, or the other side of Beast Boy, the moody Beast Boy, walked into the weight room, arms crossed over his somewhat powerfully built chest, and leaned against the wall, waiting for Robin to be done with his work out. Robin was literally beating the stuffing out of the punching bag, and never detected Beast Boy was there until the peculiar olive teen cleared his throat rather harshly and noisily, since the first time didn't work well.

Robin stopped, and Beast Boy chuckled when the punching bag made a U-turn and hit Robin in the back. Robin jerked forward, glared, and walked over to his water bottle.

"What's up, B.B.?" Gulping down the cold water and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, Robin grabbed a towel and dabbed at the sweat off his brow.

"How do you feel about Starfire?"

Robin, who was about to put his water bottle down, froze, the bottle tumbling out of his hands and hitting the floor disregarded by either teen.

"Wh—what? Why? Why do you need to know?"

"Just answer the question, Robin." Brow's strained together at Beast Boy's snippy tone, Robin sat down on the bench, rubbing the towel over his forehead. "I...haven't really thought about it."

"Do you find yourself irritated with her, or angry, then you just, I don't know, have moments when you just want to...uh...um..." Beast Boy flushed, embarrassed, and evidently trying to find the right word to say...uh...what he meant.

"I think I know what you're trying to say. And...actually, yeah, yeah, I do that constantly, all the time actually. Just about everyday, 24 hours a day, whatever suits me. Why do you ask?"

Beast Boy gave a jerky shrug. "I was just wondering." An uncomfortable silence filled the air like a choking fog. Fidgeting now, Beast Boy cleared his throat. "Do you love her?"

Robin glanced up. "Uh, I...I don't know. Maybe. I'm really confused actually, about my feeling for her." Beast Boy nodded, understanding exactly what the Boy Wonder was going through.

"Is this about you feeling for Raven?" Beast Boy watched with narrowed eyes as Robin hid a knowing grin.

"..."

"Thought so."

"Bug off." Again, he didn't exactly say bug, but more of a word that started with, well, an '_F_'.

"Hmm, your in a good mood." Robin stated sarcastically, tossing the towel in the hamper by the door. With narrowed eyes, Beast Boy said, "Anyways, what am I supposed to do about these 'feelings'? One minute, I want to just rip her to shreds, the next, well, you know."

"Yeah, but I'm sorry, but I don't even know what to do about Star, and our feeling are almost indistinguishable. Sorry," Robin concluded with a sympathetic shrug. Beast Boy growled in frustration, walked out of the weight room, debating whether or not he should talk to Star. I guess it wouldn't hurt, he thought, already rapping on her door.

It slid open and the ever so cheerful features of Starfire appeared. She was obviously pleased to see him, or just happy for the company. He was leaning toward the second choice.

He felt his face flush in embarrassment, and he rubbed the back of his head. "Uh, Star, can I ask you a question?"

"Certainly, Beast Boy. I would be most pleased if you would." He raised his eyebrow and lowered them fast at her words, and walked into her room when she stepped aside.

Her room was so...bright and cheerful. Most of her belongings were purple and pink or bright, noticeable colors, stuffed animal and little trinkets filling every nook and cranny of her room, yet it was spotless. Uncomfortable in such a clean room, Beast Boy turned so he was facing Starfire.

"How do you feel about Robin?" He asked quickly, wishing he were anywhere but here.

Startled, Starfire blinked. "I...I am unsure, truthfully. The emotions I am experiencing, I have never known before, consequently, I am uncertain about my feelings toward him."

Sighing, Beast Boy rubbed a palm over his left eye. "Do you even know what love is?"

Her green eyes brightened. "Of course. I love all of you very much. Is that not the love you are mentioning?" She asked when Beast Boy groaned.

"No, Star. I mean the love that...Oh, never mind."

"Please enlighten me of the love you are talking about."

With an aggravated sigh, Beast Boy explained. "The love I'm talking about it the love you feel with somebody, and not in the friendly way you were thinking. It's kinda like a feeling that whenever they leave you feel empty, or when you see them, you feel like a part of you had returned. And you get a gushy feeling. Kinda along those lines."

She nodded, in her own world. "Is that what this feeling I have is called? Love?"

Grinning at the direction the talk was heading, Beast Boy nodded. "Yeah, that's what it's called. Now, I was wondering..." Wait. How could he ask her what he was going through? She just found out what the love he was talking about, and her emotions were sappy and romantic, whereas Beats Boy's was, again, just pure lust. He needed to talk about this to a guy, and since he was defiantly not talking to Cyborg about this, he was screwed.

"What were you speculating, Beast Boy?" He glanced up, mumbled a "Never mind" and thanked her for her help, though she had given none.

He heard her give a bubbly, "I welcome you!" and walked out of her room.

Damn. He was getting nowhere. He jumped when the buzzer went off, signaling an attack of a villain. Glancing down with a growl, he counted in his mind for Robin to jump and say "Trouble!"

_Five. Four. Three. Two. One. _"Titans, trouble!"


	2. Chapter Two: And It begins

Disclaimer: Nope, after all the stories of have written, I still do not posses the cartoon Teen Titans.

**This will be a warning for all my stories. My computer, the big jerk, obiously does not like me, even though I am it's Supreme Ruler! _Clears throat_ Anyways, since the piece of junk does not agree with me, and, I guess, as a punishment, it deletes my stories. So, if it takes long, just know that my dumb computer (Aren't Dells suppossed to be one of the best? Well obviously not, since this piece of junk is a dell) deleted everything again. So, bear with me and I promise, I will finish my stories. **

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It was Mr. Light, or Dr. Light, whatever his name was, who they were up against. He was aiming to steal from the military base, and he was mumbling something about how he would rule the world with the thing he was going to steal. Personally, Beast Boy thought it was meaningless to want to rule the world. All it meant was more trouble. You would have to rule everything, telling people what to do, where to go, and it would just put more anxiety on the ruler, not solve their problems. _Whew, that was confusing. Now I have a headache. _Beast Boy thought. And, the funny thing was, Dr. Light steered clear of Raven.

As Dr. Light rambled on, the Titan's attacked. It was rather easy, defeating him. He never had a chance to steal the thing he was after; he just spent all his time telling everyone about how he would rule the world. Boring. Beast Boy was hoping for a more...interesting battle. Oh well. Now, they could go home and do whatever. But Dr. Light, who was being cuffed by Cyborg, who decided to carry cuffs with him everywhere, was not finished.

Dr. Light glared at the teens, his lips curled in a snarl. "The only reason you defeated me was because the little bitch, Terra, is dead. Your anger and pain that she betrayed you, is the only thing that fuels you." He turned his eyes to Beast Boy. "She's better off dead."

Something inside Beast Boy snapped, like a line breaking inside him. His body involuntarily morphed into a wolf, and lunged for Dr. Light's throat, meaning to rip it out. And Beast Boy couldn't stop it, no matter how hard he tried. His mind was screaming in protest, as was his human heart, but his body had a mind of its own. _Oh God, please, stop! I don't want to kill him. Somebody, please, help me! _He could feel someone probing his mind, and he knew it was Raven. Mentally, he sent a plea of help. _Raven, stop me, I beg of you! I can't control it! I don't know what is happening. Please help me! _Only centimeters away from the man's throat, he was enveloped by a black light, and thrown back, hard, slamming into a wall.

Dr. Light was screaming. "You...you're all crazy! You're all fucking mad!"

Beast Boy picked himself off the ground, never looking up. _I...I almost killed him. What happened? Why did I just snap like that? And I couldn't even stop it, no matter how hard I tried, 't stop it._ He knew someone was kneeling next to him, but couldn't look up.

"Beast Boy." That simple tone made him look up at Raven. It was not dull, or condemning, or even bitter. It was sympathetic, as if she understood. Well, duh, of course she does. When anger took over, she has no control either. Man, what if she happened to be the only one who could help him. And for some whacked out reason, that didn't sound bad. Not at all, it even _Something really must be wrong with me if spending time with Raven sounds calming_.

Cyborg blinked in confusion as he dragged Dr. Light away. What happened with Beast Boy? Cyborg had watched his eyes when he attacked, and instead of the hunter green, they had been a deep, blood red. Something was wrong...and Cyborg was going to find out.

Beast Boy stood up, acting calm. He glanced around, made eye contact with Robin, and made an excuse. "He was talking down to Terra, and I couldn't help but attack. I wouldn't have killed him; I just wanted to scare him, that's all. I would never kill anyone, even for something like that."

His team seemed to believe his excuse, and he was off the line...for now. If something really was wrong with him, he didn't want his team to know. He needed to fight this by himself. He was tired of having to depend on his team to save him. This time, this time he would win this battle, alone. Little did he know, he could never do it alone, not with what was going on inside within him. Only one could help. Only one.

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Meditation. Boring, yet it had to be done, it was mandatory. With her powers, she had to do it, even if it meant doing it at 3 in the morning. Without meditating, she could destroy everything, the city, her friends, and if pushed, she could destroy the world. So, here she was, on the roof, legs folded under her, eyes closed, and chanting, low and soft.

She was in her mind, where she always went, and this time, her emotions swarmed around her.

Brave, the one in a green cloak spoke out first. "What happened with Beast Boy? He seemed so...scared when he attacked."

Raven shrugged, a mere jerk of her shoulder. "I do not know. I know nothing of what he is going through."

Happy, who was, well, not so happy, said, "Maybe...we, I mean, you, us, could be of some help."

Raven glared at the pink clad Raven. "No. He can fight his own battles."

Knowledge lifted her chin, and her eyes narrowed behind wired-rimmed glasses. "He helped you when anger took over, so why can you not do something so simple as to help him. For all you know, what is happing to him might end up killing him. If I am correct in my assumption, the beast in him will be the death of him and us. He could end up slaughtering you, your team, innocent people, and it would all be because you are too selfish to help the one you say you don't love, but I will say this...there are two new emotions you have not met yet, and one is waiting for the right time to escape. She might be more treacherous to your body than rage." Raven's emotions were taken aback. No one ever talked down to the real Raven, not even brave, and here knowledge was, telling her off.

Raven's eyes narrowed dangerously. "What are you saying?"

Knowledge stepped up, and Raven watched as two new emotions stepped up along with her. One was dressed in a light red and the other, damn, the other one was a pure slut. She was not clad in the usual cloak and leotard, but had a tight, red corset type shirt, and a skirt that barley covered anything.

The one in light red smiled. "I am love, your new emotion." Love cut her gaze over to the scantly clad girl. "And this is Lust."

Lust smiled seductively, hands on slim hips.

Raven blinked at the two, crossing her arm so over her chest. "I do not love, nor do I lust, after anyone. Therefore, you two are useless to me."

Lust gave a husky laugh. "Honey, we know exactly what you feel. We feel it when you are hurt, when mad, when aroused, anything, so there is no use in denying it."

Raven gawked at Lust, blushing at what she had said. Raven gathered up her dignity, her eyes emotionless once again. "I—"

Lust cut in. "And we knew exactly what you felt when Terra hung all over Beast Boy. You were close to ringing her neck, well, at least that is what she wished to do. So there is no use denying what we know. Your just wasting your breath on a lie that we know is not true."

A sound that was close to a growl escaped Raven's mouth, causing Lust to laugh. "And, when the time is right, if you do not show your lust, or love, I will escape and reek havoc on you, but my mayhem, will be only to you, for I know the men will love the new you, or should I say me." Lust leaned closer, her pink lips curved in a mischievous smile. "So, my dear Raven, I would beware. Do not take my threat lighty, for when Beast Boy does decided he wants you in his bed, we all will gladly except. For we are one, and I, for a fact, know that I am not the only emotion who wants Beast Boy. Even Timid is ready for a romp with him." While Lust prattled on about how dreamy, and sexy, Beast Boy was, Raven was still red at the choice of words Lust used, some, Raven flinched at.

"What a vocabulary," Knowledge mumbled, as bright a red as Raven. Now, Lust was going into description of what she would love to do to him, and what she knew he would do to Raven. _I have to get out of here. I've had enough of meditating._ She quickly said her incantation, and was transported back to the roof, her face still bright red.

"Perverted little bitch, "she mumbled calmly, closing her eyes, with any luck, to will away the redness tinting her pale cheeks.

"Who is the perverted little bitch you are talking about?" Came a voice filled with amusement and laughter. With a muffled squeal at the sudden shock, Raven dropped from her position in the air, landing in her butt, much to her humiliation.

She twisted her head so she could see Beast Boy, and narrowed her violet eyes. "What are you doing here?" She knew it was a lame way to change the subject, but he answered, so, she was not too worried. Key word _too_.

Beast Boy, who had been leaning against the wall, pushed himself of with his foot, which had been braced against the wall, bent at the knee, and walked to her slowly, tantalizing. _Damn Lust and her dirty ideas. I bet she is the one planting these fantasies in my mind_. She stood up, hands crossed over her chest.

He strode closer to her, and she was startled to realize that he was taller, almost taller then her, if not by an inch or so. Didn't he used to be shorter than her? Or was it just her imagination? "Since when have you been so tall," she mused aloud, her gaze racking him from head to foot and back again.

He watched her, and gave a small shrug. "I didn't know I was." She glanced up slightly, noticing his eyes were sincere. He really didn't know. Maybe it was just her mind, or Lust, playing a trick on her. When she was younger, and before she knew she could never love anyone, she had dreamed of a tall man, and Lust must have dragged it out of one of her personalities. She, also, would drag it out of one of them.

She was so deep in concentration, thinking of the perfect way to drag it out of the emotions, she never noticed how close Beast Boy had gotten, so close that they was barely any room between them. She could actually feel his body heat. _Damn, damn, damn, Lust keeps putting...wait! I bet this is Love putting this romantic nonsense into my mind. Ooh, they are so dead._

"Raven?" His voice was amused again, and she noticed he had leaned down closer to her. She blinked, then pulled herself together.

"Yes?"

He grinned, and she thought she noticed that his fangs were longer. _Hmm, don't you just love those teeth? I love a man with an animal inside him. _Raven suppressed a groan. _Perfect. Now, Lust is talking to me. This is pure insanity. _

Beast Boy watched her, mouth still forming a grin. She, obviously, was having a conversation with herself, for her eyes were narrowed to know one in particular. He raised a hand, and lifted her chin slowly, with only his thumb and forefinger, and made her look at him.

Blushing, she looked up, hoping her voice didn't crack. She was so nervous for some reason, and the heat she felt was not from embarrassment, which left her bewildered. "Is there something you need of me?"

Beast Boy grinned. "Yeah, but for right now, we will stick to just conversation."

She didn't know what that meant, but the look in his eyes gave her an idea, and she blushed, just couldn't help it.

"I was wondering if you had any idea what happened earlier."

She avoided looking at him, and though he still held her chin in his big hands, hands she just realized that _were_ big, and, wait...he was not wearing his gloves. Ah ha! So that is why she felt heat. It was his bare skin...hold on, wouldn't that mean she was...no, no, that wasn't right. Or was it? Was she really attracted to him? This was all to confusing to her.

He stepped closer so he was actually pressing against her, and Raven wanted to run away. She had never, _never_, in her entire 16 years, been this close to anyone before, not even her mother had been close to her. Except when Starfire hugged her all of the sudden, and Raven had no time to pull back. Oh yeah, and the time when Cyborg stuck his finger in her ear to make Beast Boy laugh when he had been under Mad Mod's spell. She was still mad at Cyborg for the invasion. But, still, she had never been this close to a guy before.

"Raven, are you going to answer my question?"

She blinked. What had he asked? Oh, right. "I—I don't know. If you told me exactly what you had felt when you attacked, maybe then I could be of assistance, "_ God that sounded like Star. She's starting to ware off on me, _"and help you solve what ever is going on with you."

He grinned, pulled back, and already, she missed the heat he gave off. Damn these stupid emotions! She thought.

"Why don't we go somewhere private where no one will be able to listen in on us?" She blushed (man, she was doing that a lot, much to her frustration) at the thought of being alone with Beast Boy.

Raven nodded slowly, and when he held out a large hand, she glanced at it, as if not sure if it was safe to take it. Beast Boy chuckled. "Raven, I won't bit." _Too hard_, he thought with an evil grin.

Hesitantly, she laid her palm in his, and the jolt of electricity that shot up her arm made her give a small jump, though only she could feel it. He entwined their fingers, and gently pulled her along when she just stood there.

In the hallway, leading to the main room, Raven found an excuse to pull her hand away from his, though she wished she hadn't. She pulled her hood up, completely aware that Beast Boy watched her, and, when she had it in place, she was surprised when Beast Boy backed her against the wall, trapping her. _Close, too close_.

He lifted a hand, running his fingers over the edge of the hood, and Raven swallowed hard, flushing when she heard the shatter of glass nearby. She tried to move, but Beast Boy slid a hand down, so it rested in her shoulder, keeping her there.

Slowly, oh so slowly, he pushed the hood back so it dropped around her shoulders, his fingers brushing her skin softly, and she could suppress the shiver that ran through her.

He leaned down, whispering into her ear, "I hate when you pull you hood up. Your face is something you should let the world see. Something so gorgeous shouldn't be hidden behind anything."

Her heart quickened, the sound deafening to her ears, and she swallowed hard, unused to the sweet words. Beast Boy didn't seem like the type to make girls swoon, not that Raven was _swooning_...much, but still.

She was vaguely aware when the hand on her shoulder drifted down slowly, brushing everything in its path until it landed at her stomach, and he slid it so it rested on her waist.

He leaned back, watching her, and when he leaned back down, this time, closer to her mouth, she didn't pull back, but, to his surprise, leaned in, her arms wrapping around his neck, his free hand entangling in her hair, and their mouths melded in a kiss they would never forget.

He he, I was listing to Backstreet Boy's (I hate them, but still) **_"Drowning",_** (I was listing to Now 9) and the scene between Raven and Beast Boy seemed so perfect. You should try listing to it when reading the last little bit. It gave me inspiration, along with **_"Emotion"_** by Destiny's Child. (Actually, **_"Emotion"_** is for another chapter, not to give any ideas. ) Hmm, I have no idea why I was listing to Now 9, but I guess it's a good thing I did. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this!


	3. Chapter Three: The Mistake

Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans.

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"Raven, lunch is—oh my! I am so sorry!" Starfire turned her back fast on the couple, blushing red and glancing at Robin with horror. "Oh, of all the bad timing!"

Raven pulled back, but considering her back was pressed against the wall, she could not move far.

Starfire groaned, her hands covering her eyes, and leaned against Robin's shoulder in embarrassment. Crimson, Robin patted her back awkwardly. "Um, it's okay, Star. We didn't know that...um...uh..."

Masking her eyes, Raven lifted up her hood, tone of voice monotonous. "There is nothing to be sorry about. It was a mistake, simple as that. Is should have never happened." Raven avoided eye contact with Beast Boy, knowing the stricken look she had seen would haunt her forever.

"She's right." Raven's head snapped up at Beast Boy's tone, watching the raw fury cloud his eyes, almost making them black. "It was a mistake. One I regret entirely." He turned cold eyes to Raven, his voice vile. "For a moment, I thought she was Terra. My mistake."

The pain was raw and agonizing, as if it would never fade, and almost knocking the air out of her. It felt like a knife going through her heart, but she masked her eyes quickly, never looking at Beast Boy. It was hard to look up, especially when tears that had been locked up for so many years threatened to fall. She lifted her chin, clenched her teeth together hard, excruciatingly hard, and walked away slowly, heading for her room.

Starfire watched with pain filled eyes. She felt as if we all her fault for walking in on them. What if she had never walked in, well, considering it was the hallway, no...if she had not have come, this would have never happened. When Beast Boy had said that to Raven, it was as if Star felt the pain Raven felt. No matter how hard she masked it, Starfire watched the pain cloud Raven's eyes, darkening them. She wanted to cry for Raven, but held it back. Star could not even look at Beast Boy, just said a low, "Lunch is ready whenever you are." She turned on her heel; stopping at Raven's door, then walked passed it, gnawing on her long thumbnail the whole time.

Beast Boy stormed off to his room, wishing he could slam the door, but, considering it was sliding, he pounded a fist into the metal instead, creating a large crater. Surprised at his strength, Robin watched Beast Boy and when Beats Boy obviously flung something large at the door, Robin jumped when an imprint of the object carved the door. It had to have been a table of some sort. With a sad shake of his head, Robin followed Starfire back into the main room.

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Glass shattered, books flew from shelves, and Raven paced, a whirlwind of paper swirling around her. "I can't stay here. I need to go somewhere where I can not hurt anyone." She closed her eyes, drew in a ragged breath that wanted to come out as a sob, and ran out of her room, heading for the roof. Outside, the clear day, once sunny and bright, turned black, thunder sounding and lightning flashing. She floated off the roof, heading for the place where they first found Terra. There, the only thing to harm was rock. If she went far enough, no one could find her, and of they tried, she would hopefully be calm by then.

By the time she made it to where she wanted to go, the rain poured down like a thick water fall, blinding, soaking, and the pressure was almost bruising.

Soaked, cold, and in extreme pain, rocks swirling around her, cutting the flesh, she closed her eyes, willing the ache to go away.

All the things he said, all he had done, was because he thought of her as Terra, pictured her as Terra. And when he kissed her, God, in his mind, he had pictured Terra, not Raven, but Terra. How could she ever think that Beast Boy could have feelings for her? No, he loved Terra, and now that he can't be with her, he pictured Raven as her, to lessen the pain. It shouldn't hurt so much, but, oh God, it did. She could take physical pain, yes, that she could deal with, but this, no; she had never felt like this before. It hurt, it hurt so much that she wanted to hit her knees and just scream until her throat was raw.

Her lips quivered as she got into mediating position, but the pain clogged everything, her mind, her heart, and her body. There was no way to rid of it, so she hit her knees in the red mud, nails digging into the soft earth, the rocks around her bigger, sharper, more painful, but all went unnoticed as Raven threw back her head and screamed, letting the emotions she had held back for so long go.

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Starfire jumped, closing her eyes as the pain filled scream tore through the air. It was distant, but could be heard for miles. Tear for her friend, overflowed from her closed eyes, trailing down her flawless skin like rivers of crystals. Star felt so guilty, blaming herself for all that happened. But, Robin had said that it was more his fault, because he had been the one to suggest that they find them.

She knew, had a gut feeling, that Raven would not be back for hours, and would come back calm and collected, as if nothing happened.

Slowly, she opened her bright green eyes, now, only bright with tears, and looked into Robin's masked one's. He was kneeling in front of her, and he took her hands in his, lifting them to his mouth, as if to calm. She wanted to be calm, calm for Raven, but when Robin pulled her to him in a hug, she broke down at the pain she knew Raven was going through.

Cyborg, baffled, sat down next to Star, tucked a piece of long hair behind her ear, and glanced at Robin, who just shook his head, and Cyborg nodded, understanding that he would be filled in later on.

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With his excellent hearing, the scream was like a horn blown in his ear. How could he have said that? It was not true, him picturing Raven as Terra. In his anger, when she had so dully said that what they did didn't matter, he had spoken without thinking, and what had come out of his mouth was crueler than anything he could have ever said. Raven had hated Terra for so many things. She hated her for betraying the team, for thinking she was better than Raven, and deep down, he knew she hated Terra for hurting Beast Boy. She might not have shown it, but he knew.

And now, because he had been a little hurt, he takes Raven down, using her weakness against her. No matter how it had hurt him when she denied it, she didn't deserve what he had done to her. No one deserved that. And that scream tore him to pieces, the raw agony of it present in that one sound. He could hear her crying, more like sobbing, and he could smell the blood mixing with rainwater. He had to go to her, now. He ran out, expecting to see Starfire, but the looks he got form his male teammates warned him, saying, "Don't go."

So, he sat down in between Robin and Cyborg, and buried his head in his hands.

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She pulled the cape closer to her, taking in the sent to keep her going. It was Robin's cape, and he had loaned it to her when she said she was going to go find Raven. Robin had tried to talk her out of it, afraid that with Raven so upset, she could easily kill Star. But, calmly, Star had said, "You cannot stop me, Robin, for I will go no matter what." So, he had taken of his cloak, wrapped it around her, and sat back, watching her leave.

Now, with the rain pounding against her, she walked, for the rain was too blinding, and, if flying, she could easily been shocked. Something hit her shoulder hard, fast, and with a minor wince, she kneeled down to see what it was. A rock. It was a rock, jagged and heavily, the sharpest tip stained with blood. She glanced down at her shoulder, noticing there was no blood staining the cloth, and her heart stopped for a moment.

"Raven," she whispered as she ran against the raging storm. She dodged many rocks, some striking, drawing beads of blood, others just bruising. The cape protected her body, but the skin that was visible, mostly because the wind blew her cape open, exposing her thighs and stomach. Then, the rocks stopped, though the wind picked up and the rain turned to sleet the size of quarters, and she pulled the cape up so it protected her head.

Star called out to Raven, her voice muffled by the sleet and howling wind, and the temperature seemed to drop about three degrees, and the November air cut against the skin like invisible knives.

"Weather on my planet was never so violent." She shuttered, and narrowed her eyes too see through the thick sheets of ice. Spotting, off on the distance, a blur of blue, Star ran, water splashing around her, and she was constantly tripping over rocks.

Finally, when she made it to Raven, she fell, knees tucked under her and her breath deep and ragged. "Raven," was all she could manage.

Raven glanced up, her face holding thin scratches, along with the rest of her, and she drew her eyebrows together. "Star, what are you doing here?" Her voice was husky and raw, from cry and/or screaming.

"Raven," Star panted, then cleared her throat, "you need to come back. The storm is starting to worsen."

Raven rolled her eyes, her voice emotionless, but this time, she could not mask her eyes. The pain was still there, a rich ache that she could not ignore, but she pushed it down the best she could.

"I guess it is time I head back." Star nodded, pulled the cape off her shoulders, and wrapped it around Raven, who needed it more than her. The sleet was now the size of golf balls, and each time the hit Star, it was like, well, golf balls being hurled at her as hard as possible. She knew she would be bruised, and kept her head down to protect her face. The trail back to the tower was hard, considering they could barely see 2 feet in front of them, but they made it to the tower, some how, and when inside door, they collapsed against it, fighting the storm draining them.

Starfire glanced at Raven, who now seemed controlled. "How are you feeling?"

Raven gave a jerky shrug, wincing when the cut on her shoulder from a sharp rock, tore open more than it already was. "It does not matter now. I was not that offended by what he said." Her voice was confident, but, if that had been true, she would not have been in the middle of a large storm; cut and bruised from her own powers going haywire at the loss of her emotions.

"Raven, you do not have to hid what you really feel from me. I am your friend; at least I hope I am. We all heard you scream, Raven, and the cuts you sustain are not from the pelts of ice falling from the angry sky."

Raven glanced at Star, her body raw from the cuts from jagged rocks and the bruises from the sleet. She couldn't show emotions, because if she did, well, she paid dearly for it, like she did now. Raven glanced down at the red gashes dripping blood and groaned. "Star, I can't show any emotions."

Star gave her a sad smile. "But you can speak of them." With a weighty sigh, Raven told.

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He had not stopped pacing and the floor was wearing thin under his feet. Beast Boy watched the sleets fall down, denting, and he grew more worried as time passed. He had not seen them in two hours, had not seen Raven in over three, and he was starting to get restless. What if she was hurt? He would never forgive himself for what he did. When she got back, he would beg and plead with her, kiss the ground she walked on, just so she would know he didn't mean it.

_She deserved it!_ Something hissed in the back of his mind, the voice deep and dark. Startled, Beast Boy halted in the middle of the floor and looked around, as if the voice belonged to flesh and blood. _How can you ever think of feeling guilty? She was the one who denied it, not you; you just said what you really thought._

_No, that's not true!_ Beast Boy thought, quarrelling with the voice.

_Of course it is. You were thinking of Terra when you kissed Raven. Admit it! Terra is and always will be the one you dream of. Even though she's dead, you can't get her off your mind. So you take the closest thing you can get your hands on. And, since you used to harbor feelings for the Goth, we, shall I say, we use her to get rid of the pent up desire you never could show with Terra. _

_Who are you? _Beast Boy screamed in his mind. _No, never mind. I will not fight with myself. It is the first sign of insanity. God, I need to see Raven._

_Seeing is not all you want to do, and I don't blame you. Raven is easy on the eyes, and, I bet, when you decided its time to have her, she won't object, but will gladly slid into your bed. _The voice hissed again.

_Okay, and I thought I was perverted. No! I will not talk to you! I am not insane nope I am just..._ Beast Boy glared at thin air while Robin and Cyborg exchanged looks of confusion and amusement.

_Turning into an animal. Or should I say...beast. _

Shaking his head as if it would help the voice disappear, he folded his arms over his chest, and walked, or rather walked out at a hasty speed, heading downstairs, so when they happened to come back, he would be there.

He was about to open the door that lead to the room where the front door was, but paused, hearing muffled voices. Slowly, he cracked the door opened, and was shocked to hear Raven's voice.

"I would have never thought that something Beast Boy could say would actually hurt this much. I used to think of him as a nothing but a lousy joker, but now...now, I can't think of what I would do if he ever left. Without him, there is no..." He couldn't see her face, but he knew she was racking her brain for something to say.

"Jokes? Light?" Starfire filled in.

"No excitement. Star, can I ask you a question?"

"Of course."

There was a long pause, then Raven asked, "How do you feel about Robin?"

He heard Star sigh. "That seems to be a admired inquiry at the moment." Beast Boy would have laughed if he had not been so intent on eavesdropping.

"Beast Boy—"

"What does this have to do with him?" Her tone was snippy, rude, but completely interested.

"If you would so kindly allow me to finish, I was going to say that Beast Boy, when he asked me the exact question—"

"Why did he want to know? When did he ask?"

"Raven," Star started out slowly," do you wish to know what I think about Robin or not."

"Of course. If I had not wished to have known, I never would have asked, now would I?"

Starfire, not used to sarcasm, actually pondered over the rhetorical question. "I am not sure."

He heard Raven sigh. "Starfire, that was a rhetorical question. You know...sarcasm?"

"Oh, well then. Well, Beast Boy said that what I feel was love, but his definition of the word might not be what it really is. What do you think love is?"

"Starfire...I don't love, therefore I do not know what it is."

"But you must love Beast Boy, if his words hurt the way you say they did. If you do not love him, then you would have never have been so hurt, am I correct?"

"Uh...." Was Raven's only reply.

Beast Boy was so intent on listening onto their conversation that he never heard Robin, and when he gently tapped his shoulder, Beats Boy almost had a heart attack. Pressing a hand to his galloping heart, he glared at the Boy Wonder.

"What are you doing here?" Beast Boy hissed lowly, so the girls could not hear. Robin shrugged his shoulder, saying in a bored tone, "I just wanted to know where you were going and—" If it were possible, Robin's ears would have perked up when Star said his name. Not two seconds later, both teens were pressing their ears to the door.

"Star, tell me this. What was love like one your planet?"

Starfire sighed. "I do not know, for I never have loved the way you and Beast Boy have spoken of."

"I have not spoken anything that had to deal with love." Raven snapped, drawing a chuckle from Star. "Forgive me for my dreadful inaccuracy."

"Are you being sarcastic? No, never mind. I know you are. Anyways, answer my question, no 'I have never experienced love' crap. How do you feel about Robin?"

Robin became one with the door while he waited for a response. Beast Boy wanted to laugh at the sight Robin made, but he leaned in closer to hear her answer.

"I...I do think I love him, but I fear he does not feel the same. He is more intent on finding Slade and his whereabouts, that he has no time for me, and when he is occupied with Slade, he treats me...like I mean nothing to him."

"Star, when he's tracking down Slade, he treats us like we mean nothing to him, not just you."

"Yes, I understand that, but if he did have feelings for me like love, wouldn't he treat me with some sort of emotion, other than annoyance and irritation and more along the lines of love?"

Raven was silent. "I...um..."

Starfire gave a sad sigh. "See what I mean? Robin only thinks of me as a friend, and I fear that is what it will always be like. I am only a friend to him, but it is better than being nothing to him, I guess." They did not speak for minutes, each in their own thoughts.

Robin pulled back from the door slowly, his eyes drawn together. "Do I...really treat the team like they mean nothing to me when I am trying to track down Slade?"

Beast Boy spoke without thinking. "Yeah, you do. Especially Star, since she's the only one who is willing to help you and your obsession with the guy...oops." Beast Boy flinched, mentally slapping himself. _Damn, damn, damn, I need to keep my big mouth shut. _With a groan, Beast Boy made eye contact with the leader, surprised to see his eyes troubled, instead of angry.

Robin was staring at the door, in his own world. "I didn't know I did that," Robin said quietly, running a gloved hand through his untamed hair.

Beast Boy kept quiet. Letting the Robin wonder in his thoughts, he stared ahead, though seeing nothing. And when the door opened, they never saw it.

"What are you doing here?" Raven asked calmly, her hood pulled up covering the scratches.

Beast Boy and Robin jumped, and, without a word, they glanced at each other, then took off a dead run. It would have been easier to lie, but now the girls' knew that they had been eavesdropping, and their rage and humiliation drove them to take serious action. Almost to the door, the men were enveloped in a black light and were roughly brought back in front of the girls.

"What exactly did you hear?" Raven asked, voice calm, eyes burning like a wild fire, but she never looked at Beast Boy.

Beast Boy shrugged, and for the third time that day, he spoke without thinking. "Enough."

He received a hard kick from Robin, and grunted at the pain. "Scratch what I just said. I wasn't thinking."

Cheeks still red with embarrassment at being caught, Robin made up an excuse, and fast, so he could at least save his butt from a brutal punishment. Not much of a leader movement, but when it was Raven and Star who were mad, he didn't want to be the one to make them angry.

"I was just coming down here to see if you had come back, and Beast Boy followed me, and just as we were about to open the door, you walked in." _There, Beast Boy is also off the hook, _Robin thought with a hidden grin.

"Okay, if that is true, then why are you both red if your are not guilty of doing something wrong?" Starfire asked casually. _Damn her and her intelligence...then again..._ Robin shook his head at his thoughts, and though up something fast.

"Because we were so wrongly accused of something we did not do."

Starfire and Raven exchanged looks. "But...we did not accuse you of any wrong doing."

"Busted," Beast Boy muttered under his breath as Robin wracked his brain for another excuse. "No, your eyes accused. I never said that you said it, I juts said that you accused us. I can tell by the look in your eyes that you do not believe us, but if we had heard something, don't you think we would say it if it were important?"

"Robin, that made no sen—"The rest was a hiss as Robin stepped on Beast Boy's foot.

Taking the hint, Beast Boy shut up. Robin wanted to fidget under Star's gaze as it searched for signs of lies. Her bright eyes landed on his mask and he watched a quick flash of yearning strike through them. She gnawed on her bottom lip, drawing his gaze, then, with a small sigh, she nodded. "I think they are telling the truth. They must not have heard us." Relief flooded Raven and Star.

They walked off slowly, Raven with her head bowed. She had never once looked at Beast Boy, not once, and Beast Boy's shoulders slumped. There was no way she would forgive him. Hell, who would after what he said. After something like that, a simple 'I'm sorry' would never repair the damage he had done. But he had to try, for he never quit.

Straightening his shoulders, he marched out, heading for Raven's room...and certain doom.

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I was informed that my story was getting a little heated too fast, and I had to agree. I meant for this to drag in a little, but I'm glad I did this, because, now, I have the perfect idea. I just hope ya'll are pleased with this chapter. Until the next chapter!


	4. Chaper Four: The Beast

Sorry it took so long but we had to unplug my computer so we could pull our nasty ass carpet up.

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Raven let out a sigh as she closed her eyes, already in meditating position. The scratches on her face were not bad, and would heal in a couple of days, so all she had to do was pull her hood up for a while. Thankfully, they would not create scars, but the gashes on her arms and legs were a different matter. But, no one would see them, _ever_, so she was okay there.

As she was about to chant her famous incantation, someone knocked on her door. The sound that had once been calm came out in a growl, and she pulled her hood up with a jerk of her wrist.

"Hold on," she mumbled, loud enough for the person behind the door to hear. She walked to the door and cracked it, just enough to see the person following it. She jerked back, the door slamming, when she got a good look. It was Beast Boy. She cleared her throat, and said, calmly, dully, "Beast Boy, go away."

"No," came the fast reply. Her violet eyes narrowed at the door. "Yes."

"No. I will not leave." Eyes, now merely slits, rolled.

"Then I hope you are comfortable in the cold, dark, hallway."

"Raven, let me in."

"No."

"Fine." With a victorious lift of her chin, Raven turned back, facing the window, and closed her eyes. Deep in concentration, she never heard the _whoosh _of the door.

"Azarath metrione zentho-"The rest ended in a squeal as she was tackled down to the ground. The breath was knocked out of her, hands pinned above her head, and Beast Boy, _oh was he dead_, straddled her hips.

"Told you I would get in."

Her eyes narrowed. "Get. Off." Her voice was deadly, but Beast Boy was not the least bit intimidated.

"Look Raven, I wanted—"

Her eyes flashed as he was lifted up, and thrown back, brutally, and Raven scrambled up, heading for the door. But Beast Boy, sore, was not through with her. He morphed into an octopus, and a green tentacle shot out, wrapping around the dark teen's waist, pulling her back. He morphed back into his human form just as Raven was pulled against him. With her back pressed against him, fully, she was too shocked to do much. But that shock did not last long. She pushed her body back, slamming him into the wall, and books tumbled down at the force. He grunted, one eye closed in pain, and did not have time to defend himself when Raven picked him up by his collar.

"Beast Boy, "her voice was calm, but her eyes darkened with anger, and he noticed the tiny cuts on her face. Her hood had fallen down around her shoulders when she had rammed him against the wall, leaving her face bare. "Get out of my room. _Now."_

"Raven, I just wanted to apologize for what I said earlier, 'cause I didn't mean any of it, I was just hurt when you said that it had meant nothing and I just wanted to pay you back for hurting me and that was just the first thing that came to mind and I'm really, really sorry," he said in one breath, and when he was through, he dragged in deep gulps of air.

Raven blinked, her eyes emotionless, and her hold on his collar loosened, and he feel to his feet awkwardly.

She lifted her chin. "I do not care if you are sorry or not. What you said had no effect on me, so there is nothing to apologize for."

His eyes narrowed, and turned a violent red, before he calmed down. "Raven," he bit out, "I know it affected you, for if it hadn't, you would have never left the tower, and would have never screamed."

"I did not scream."

"Damnit Raven! Why won't you just admit it? You're not fooling anyone, and the least you can _fucking_ do is show some sort of emotion! I don't care if it does cause your powers to go haywire, just fucking show something!" Anger boiled up inside him and he tried to calm himself but to no avail. That same line snapped again, and, he knew, that something inside him was unleashed, and it was going to go after Raven. He just knew. He felt his claws and fangs lengthen, and the human inside him fisted his hands as if it would stop this transformation. Blood dripped from his hands were his claws had dug into the tender skin, but nothing seemed to stop what was happening to him.

Confusion, mixed with raw fear, filled Raven as she watched Beast Boy. His head was bowed, but his hair was longer, much longer, shoulder length, and he was tall, towering over her even with his head bowed. She watched with horror as blood dripped from his hands, and she gently probe into his mind.

Inside his head, he was screaming, pleading, for it to all end. He couldn't control it, and she felt the desperation, the helplessness, he felt. And, in all the confusion in his head, she heard her name. He was screaming for her to run, to get away from him before he attacked, but even if her legs weren't paralyzed with fear, she could never leave him like this.

"Beast Boy." She said quietly, swallowing the break of fear that entwined with her voice.

"Raven, I—"The door slid open, revealing Star, and she froze in mid-sentence, when she caught sight of Beast Boy. "Star, get out of here!" Raven yelled, but it was too late. Beast Boy pounced, and Star barely dodged it. She jumped to the side just as Beast Boy's claws swooped down, meaning to tear flesh.

She reacted instantly. She rammed her shoulder into his midsection, throwing him back in Raven's room. He landed on the ground, rendering him defenseless for a short time.

"Raven, you need to get out of here!" Starfire tried to pull Raven out, but Raven refused.

"No. You go, but I'm staying."

Beast Boy growled, pushing himself up slowly. "Raven—"

"Go! And please, don't tell anyone!" Raven yelled, and a black light threw Star out of her room, and she made sure no one could get in by locking the door with her powers.

Raven glanced back at Beast Boy, who was now standing tall, eyes red and lips curled in a snarl.

"Beast Boy, calm down." Her voice was desperate, and she could not hold the fear in. She was never scared when they came up against villains, but she was terrified of what the beast inside Beast Boy would do. And she didn't know how to stop it.

He slowly walked toward her, and with each step forward, she took steps back, until she was pressed against the wall. She heard the low growl in his throat and, breathing ragged, watched him approach her.

When he lunged for her, she tried to run, but he grabbed her arm and slammed her into the wall, the pain jarring through her bones, and pined her hands above her head, this time painfully, his grip bruising and his claws digging into her flesh.

He pressed himself so close to her that there was not a space between them and he slid both of his legs in between hers. She glanced up, watching his eyes. Red eyes bore into hers, and, mixed in with rage, was desire.

She swallowed as he lowered his head to the side of her neck and scrapped his fangs lightly over her skin. He licked the drop of blood off her neck, and she shivered, not from fear, but at the feeling it caused.

_I need to fight him...but I can't. It's as if I want him to do this. But, I'm supposed to be mad at him. Yes, I will think about that and then I can fight him off. He should not be allowed to do this. _

Her thoughts of fighting him were stalled as he tore the cape off her, slicing it so it fell to the floor. He moved so that he was pinning both her hands with one arm, and the other fell to her waist, and he slowly moved his hand up, then down again, his thumb caressing everything in its path. Now, even if she wanted to, she couldn't push him off. Something held her back, and she had a feeling it was Lust. _Damn her! God, this would be so much better if this were Beast Boy and not the animal inside him! But, no, Lust wouldn't care. Even if this would be considered rape, she would still allow it. _

He stopped the assault on her neck and moved his way up. He pulled back slightly, looking her in the eye, as if challenging her to stop him, and she noticed the red was slashed with dark green. Beast Boy was fighting it, and hard.

Beast Boy slammed his mouth against hers, hard, bruising, and he bit her lips lightly, and, she let him slid his tongue into her mouth. She closed her eyes she probed into his mind yet again, letting this beast inside Beast Boy have his fill, especially since this was all the stupid animal was going to get.

Raven could feel him pulling the beast back, as if he was on a leash, and she felt the pressure of his lips soften. The grip on her wrist was losing, and she could slowly fell the blood resuming its flow, which had been cut off. She felt him jerk back and her eyes snapped open to see Beast Boy's eyes a dark green. The only thing was, his hair was still long, he was much taller, and his fangs and claws were still long, though not as long as before.

He let go of her fully, and she slowly sunk down the wall. She had not noticed, but when he had held her wrist, her feet had been dangling above the ground, so when he let her go, she fell. Afraid to look up, she tucked her feet under her and rubbed her left bruised and bloodied wrist with her right hand, and her hands were not as numb as before.

She licked her raw lips, and made herself look up at him. Self-loathing filled his eyes. He kneeled down in front of her. "My God, Raven...I'm so sorry...I...I don't know what happened. I just got mad and..." Oh. He thought that she had no idea about what was going on. He thought that she thought that the man who attacked her was the real Beast Boy, not the creature inside him. Was he afraid to tell her? Or was he still trying to figure out what was going on? Should she tell him that she knew? Would it help?

"Beast Boy...you could not prevent it, could you?" Dumb question. But she knew that if she asked it, he would know, and maybe want to talk about it. But wait...earlier; when he had attacked Dr. Light, he had wanted to talk to her about it. Or was he just trying to get her alone? No, no, that could not have been the case. This was all too confusing.

His eyes snapped up to hers and held. "No." He said quietly, and he traced her bruised lip with his finger without thinking. She didn't pull back, just watched him. He had yet to realized what he was doing.

"What are you going to do about it?" She asked slowly, afraid of the answer.

He sat down, pressing a hand to his mouth. "I...Raven, you know as well as I do that I can't stay here. Even the smallest things set me off. I can't put you and the rest of the team in that sort of danger."

"And what are you going to do when someone or something makes you mad in the real world? You won't be able to stop it, and when someone else, as in the police, tries to stop you, you might end up killing them. And I would rather...you stay here so I can try to help you get through it."

He hadn't thought of that. But if he stayed, he could kill his whole team. And they had a right to know what was going on, so when he did snap, they knew to get away.

"I think I have an idea." Beast Boy muttered.

"What?"

"I think it best of we told the others and...maybe, until we know the cause...you could put me behind bars."

"...Are you sure you would like to be chained?" She didn't like that idea.

"Yeah. If it will protect the team, then I'll do anything."

She could just chain him up in a dark room with no one to...wait a minute. Maybe, if he was up to it, she could chain him up in her room, giving her ample time to figure out the cause of his transformation.

"Beast Boy..." Oh, how to say this without embarrassing herself even more?

He raised an eyebrow. He seemed fascinated with the tiny cut across her cheek. Beast Boy traced the minor pain with his thumb, and she wondered if he was even paying attention to her idea.

"What if...I...I mean, we...umm..."_ Oh come on Raven. Since when have you ever stuttered?_ "What of we chain you in my room so I could try to find the cause of what bring the beast out. You would not be alone, nor would you be able to harm me. It's a win-win situation. And, I might not mind the company as long as you don't try to make jokes." She was teasing him, he realized. So, she did have a sense of humor, even of it was sometime morbid.

He though it over, and could not find any fault in the idea. "All right. But we need to tell the team first." He picked up her torn cape, fingered it, and went in search for another. Finding her stash of dark cloaks, he put it across her shoulders, snapped it at her neck, and couldn't resist rubbing the red mark on her neck.

"Damn."

"What?"

"I wasn't the first guy to give you a hickey." She elbowed him lightly, ignoring his soft chuckle. "Come on. Let's get this over with." She said, her eyes narrowed. He watched her leave. God, he had come so close to raping her. And she didn't seem the least bit angry. Nor did she seem to despise him, or, for that matter, despise spending time with him. He was right all along. There was a Raven he had yet to bring out.


	5. Chapter Five: The Reason

"There, that should do it." Robin said as he cuffed the chains around Beast Boy's wrist. Beast Boy tugged on the chain hard, to see if it would withstand a forceful jerk, and the chains thankfully stayed together. "Raven, are you absolutely sure you want me in here?" Beast Boy asked, crossing his legs and adjusting to where he was comfortable. The chains allowed him to stand, or lay down, which ever he preferred, but he could not go five feet away from his small pallet on the floor. Which Raven and Starfire had immediately fixed when they decided Beast Boy was going to stay with Raven.

"I'm sure. Or would you rather sleep in the basement and talk with the rats?"

"No, this is fine."

Glancing at Beast Boy, then Raven, Robin asked, "Everything all set then?" His mind was still processing the fact that his teammate and good friend was turning into a beast. And though he kept his mouth shut, he thought he knew what the cause was.

"So you can try to figure out what is the cause of Beast Boy's transformation, I will bring down food later." Starfire smiled when they almost groaned. "Robin is the one to cook tonight."

Beast Boy grunted. "That's almost just as bad." Starfire finally figured out that her teammates did not enjoy her Tameran food. She had a first been curious why no one had told her that they detested her food, and Robin had said no one wanted to hurt her feelings. She had just laughed. There were many things she did not like on earth yet it hurt no one when she told them, so why should she be upset that they did not like something in her culture?

Robin glared. "Yeah, well, then don't eat." Starfire grabbed his hand, and his thoughts about doing something immature, like sticking out his tongue, came to an abrupt halt as she led him out of the room. Cyborg followed, smirking at the dopey love sick on Robin's face.

When the door shut, bathing the two teens in darkness, the room seemed quiet, too quiet. Usually she enjoyed the peace and quiet...but now, the silence seemed to be closing in on her.

"Dude, I can barley even see my fingers. How do you keep from tripping?" He heard movement. Suddenly a dim light on her dresser filled the room with a pale glow. He looked around.

"Good thing I'm a fan of scary movies, otherwise, I would defiantly have nightmares." Everything was so morbid and dark. Her walls were a deep shade of purple, almost black. Her headboard behind her bed was carved as a raven, and from what he could see in the dim light, the sheets were a silk black. At least there were no morpid posters on the wall.

"Are you going to make fun of my décor or are we going to try to figure out what's going on?"

_Perfect. The one conversation I have with her is about a stupid emotion inside me. _He had no idea he said it allowed. Maybe he didn't. Maybe she read his mind. Creepy...and yet it somehow felt so right, her barging into his thoughts.

"And that emotion could end up killing you. Would you rather we talk about something else, as in the weather maybe?"

He glared at her. "Must you always be so sarcastic?" It was the only emotion she could really show. And most of the time, she was serious. The words were just coated with a sarcastic tone.

"Seriously Beast Boy. We need to figure this out."

"Don't you think I know that?" He didn't mean for it to come out as so boorish.

"Don't get snappy with me, Beast Boy. I'm just trying to help you."

"For the first time. Since when have you ever helped me before? Why now? An act of charity maybe, because you feel so guilty for being such a cold hearted bitch?" What the hell? Why did he just say that? He wasn't even angry with her, so why had that just...popped out? What was happing to him?

Her eyes narrowed, flashed with pent up anger. They turned black, and he was completely enthralled at her feisty beauty as her temper snapped. "For you information, Beast Boy," she said his name in a snarl. "When I help you out for some ungodly reason, emotions I am supposed to have under control break free, therefore unleashing my powers. And when I lose control, I could end up killing this entire city. I don't help people because when I do, I could end up hurting them if my emotions get out of control. And I can't take that chance. So don't you _dare _call me a cold hearted bitch because you have no idea what I go through every God damn day trying to make sure I don't feel anything so I don't hurt innocent people." Something close to her shattered. _Raven, calm down. _This was the reason she kept her temper under reins.

But she was too riled up to calm down. She was sick and tired of people calling her cold hearted. And, damnit, it hurt when he was the one to call her heartless. "You don't know how hard it is to keep everything locked up inside you. I can't express amusement; I can't shed tears, and I can't even be in love with anyone. When I'm old enough, I won't be able to have kids because I _can't_ love anything without harming it. I will have to go through my entire life alone, but will you? No, you won't.

"You'll be able to have kids, to get married, to love someone the rest of your life. I have to be a compassionless bitch just to survive. If I'm not, then I'm opening up myself for nothing but pain and agony."

Books fell from her bookshelf. "Raven—"

"Don't you dare 'Raven' me. Just shut up. Maybe helping you was not the best idea." The lamp above him shattered, raining glass and leaving the room in obscurity again.

Thankful for the darkness, she tried to calm down. She levitated, speaking her incantation softly.

Beast Boy had never felt so rotten in his entire life. He hadn't meant to say that to her, it just sort of came out. And what she told, or rather yelled at him, shook him to the core. He had never really thought about her powers before. It had to tear her apart to know that she could never love, or even have kids.

Knowing it would not be the best thing in the world, he stood up. He couldn't faintly make out her figure, and she was close enough to where he could actually touch her. _I best warn her before I do anything_.

"Raven, I didn't mean it like that. I swear." She knew he was close to her, and so desperately wanted to move away to where he could not touch her. But she would not give him the satisfaction. But she did make sure her feet were on the floor so she could bolt when he came to close.

"Beats Boy, just..." Her eyes widened as stood in front of her. She had to crane her neck to look at him now. Quickly, giving her no time to run, he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her to him. Umm...was all that would form in her clouded brain. What was he doing?

"Raven, I'm so sorry. I wasn't thinking straight. It just popped out of my mouth. It was like I wasn't even the one to—"

She leaned back so she could look him in the eye. Well, the best she could since they were in complete darkness.

"So...that wasn't you saying that, was it?"

He thought about it. When he had said it, nothing had even formed in his mind about what he would say. His mouth had just moved to its own accord, as if his body had belonged to someone else.

"Beast Boy, "she said quietly, the answer seeming to just float in front of her. She almost jerked back when the answer finally hit her like a freight train. "What if I'm the cause of your transformation?"

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	6. Chapter Six: Cops and Robbers

I really like this poem that DragonWriter2 sent me, and I thought I'd use it in this chapter. I think it fits perfectly. Actually, if you would, send me poems like this or something that has to do with Raven and Beast Boy, and I will post them in beginning of every chapter of this story. I really love reading other peoples work. Thank you DragonWriter2 for allowing me to use this!

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_Driven by lust_

_Fueled by anger_

_Breaker of trust_

_An insatiable hunger_

_Deep down inside_

_Liver of sin_

_All run and hide_

_From the beast within_

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Shocked, Beast Boy pulled her back. "Why do you think you are the cause? For all we know, it could be because of losing Terra. Losing someone you loved will bring the beast out in anyone."

He felt her stiffen and pull back. Great. He just _had_ to mention Terra. Jeez, it was as if this stupid beast was trying to rid of Raven. But that was...highly possible. What if she _was_ the reason the beast chose to break free now? With Terra gone and emotions raw, he could easily turn Beast Boy against anyone. And, God know Raven had hurt him more with her mild rejection than anything. What if this beast inside him thought it was best to teach her a lesson?

No, that couldn't be the reason. All he felt for Raven was mere teenage lust...right?

"Well, it just might be Terra. That sounds more logical. I mean, why would something inside you be the least interested in a callous bitch." Her tone was casual, but it irritated him when she threw his words back at him. He was more annoyed, though, because he felt a sharp pang of guilt.

"Probably because you've hur—" What the hell?! He had almost told her that it hurt when she rejected everything he did. For once he need to keep his big mouth tightly sealed.

Curious, she stepped a tad bit closer. "Because I've what?"

Grinding his teeth together, he did what now came naturally to him. He glared. "Nothing, nothing at all. It doesn't matter, anyways." He gave an aloof shrug. "It's no big deal." He knew she was going to probe, so he mentally built a brick wall.

He knew the minute she found that wall, because he earned a _'damn you'_ look.

She let out a huff of breath. "It just might be Terra. Do you think that maybe you should visit her..." What was she supposed to say? Grave sight? Resting place? The place where she risked her life trying to save the city, after she was the one who helped try to destroy it?

God, she hated Terra for that. She made them trust her, almost more than they trusted Raven, and then to turn on them, leaving Beast Boy heartbroken, only to help them again like the good girl they had thought her to be. When she was named a Teen Titan, it was as if the team forgot Raven was actually there. Except Starfire. Starfire seemed to notice that Raven pulled _all_ the way out of group activities. And, of course, Robin would notice also, because he was paying so much attention to Star, he usually caught on to what she was thinking.

In the back of her mind, she always wondered what it would be like to be able to love someone, and actually have them love you back, as it was with Robin and Star. Though it was never said in words, it was so obvious they loved each other. And no matter how she tried to block it, jealously always reared its ugly head. It was not fair that everyone else could love but her. Nor was it fair that it was always around her, like an annoying bug that would never leave anyone alone. No matter where she went, she could feel the nauseating love of couples, old and young.

And, damnit, she always felt sorry for herself. No matter what she did, the fact that she could never love washed over her, almost (almost being the key words), making her cry. It was weird, but the first time she had ever wanted to cry, was when Beast Boy had called her to the roof to talk about Terra. Terra had just returned from her minor disappearance, when, Raven figured, was when she was training with Slade.

Annoyed, she had followed him to the roof, her mind racing with questions. What did he want? He never talked to her, much less called her to a private place. Maybe he would tell her he had feelings for her. She had immediately squashed the idea.

Telling her to sit down, for what he had to say was long, he paced the width of the roof. He was confused about his feelings for Terra, and though he made it clear that Raven could not feel what he felt, he told her she was the only one he trusted enough to tell. If he had stopped there, never mentioning that he was head over heels in love with the goody-goody-two-shoes-Terra, her day would have, for some reason, been remarkable. But, he told her things that she could only dream about. And God, when he told her that Terra was the only girl he'd ever love, her mood sunk just as low as her heart did. That was the only time she really wanted to cry. Well, that and when he said he had mistaken her for Terra. That still stung. It always would sting.

She knew she could never amount to Terra. That was fine. She did not want to be like Terra. The big shock was...she wanted to be Terra for Beast Boy. After Terra's stone death, Beast Boy had locked himself in his room, and for the first time, she wished she were Terra. The outgoing, funny, lovable girl Beast Boy had fallen in love with. In her own eyes, Raven was pathetic. She wanted to become the person she hated just so her teammates, mainly Beats Boy, would love her.

But she couldn't change. No matter how much she wished it, Raven would never change. So, she quit wishing and praying the day that it hit her. She was a companionless bitch. Not by choice of course, but she was still dull and boring, only worried about herself.

With an inward groan, Raven decided, unfortanatly that she needed to talk to Star. Maybe the alien beauty would tell her good things about her. She always did. And it always made her feel human, when Star would complement her. Though it was never shown, she was closer to Star than anyone. Star would always want to chat with her, even if her mood was foul. Cyborg tended to stay away from her dark moods, Beast Boy would try, then give up, and Robin just left her be. But Star would knock on her door, asking what was wrong, or if she wished to go to the Mall of Shopping. At least she tried.

But, only Star's attention was not enough. She wanted her team to want to speak with her, even if she was in a horrible mood. Beast Boy had all together given up on trying to make her smile. She used to actually look forward to it, but that was because she enjoyed someone other than Star caring about her. Of course her friends loved her, but...she knew that most of the wished that she was different, like Terra. Damnit! No matter what she did, she was always compared to Terra. And she always lost.

"Visit her what?" She almost jumped. Lost in her depressing thoughts, she had forgotten all about Beast Boy standing in front of her.

"Her...resting place." There. That was nice enough...right? "Maybe then you can cope with the beast within you."

Beast Boy thought about it. Maybe it would help. "I guess I could." Already searching for the keys to his chains, she told herself that it was best. For some reason, she didn't want him to go to Terra. He might forget what had almost happened between them. The thought of him forgetting her made fear curl in her stomach.

He watched her erratic movements and wondered what was going on inside that beautiful head of hers. Oh, if only he could read minds. But hey, he had the next best thing: animal instincts. He could smell her uncertainty, her fury, her pain, her apprehension, and...her jealously? What the hell was she jealous about? She couldn't be envious of Terra, could she? He almost laughed. Yeah. Raven jealous of Terra.

Sitting down with a plop, he made himself comfortable by leaning against the oak dresser. The thought of Raven actually being jealous made her seem...human.

"You know Beast Boy, I am half human. I do have _some_ human traits." His shocked gaze collided with her calm violet eyes. She was just standing there, keys in hand, watching him. She almost looked like a dark goddess.

"I know, but..." What was he supposed to say? He didn't have the faintest clue.

"Even though only half of me is human, I do sometimes feel what you do." Chastising himself for even thinking something like that, he sighed. He just seemed to make everything worse.

Her gaze dropped from his and she quietly walked closer to him so she could undo his chains. Realizing how close she was, a smile grew as he formulated a plan that would have her completely under his control. _Wait a minute...wait...now!_ The minute he was loose from his chains, he grabbed her and pushed her on her back. Enjoying the look of pure shock and anger, he laid across her, bracing his arms next to her head so not to squish her.

"What are you doing?" She glared when he just grinned down at her.

"I don't really know. I just thought it would be fun to catch you off guard." Man, she could scarcely move. He might not have all of his weight on her, but it was enough to keep her down.

"You caught me off guard now—don't you dare!" Too late. He already had wrist chained. Grabbing the extra shackles, he locked the cuff around her other wrist so she was now completely vulnerable. Somehow, he made it to where the chain gave only a small leeway of room to move.

"Beast Boy, undo the chains." She ground her teeth when he bluntly told her no.

"I swear, when I get out of these, I will murder you. Painfully slow." She glanced at the chains the held her wrist above her head. Why could she not have Starfire's strength? She could use her telekinesis, but Beast Boy would cover her mouth the minute she said the first syllable of her incantation and she would be back to where she was now: Completely under Beast Boy's control.

"Come on Beast Boy."

"Do I hear a hint of pleading in your voice?"

"No." He chuckled, enjoying the anger flashing in her eyes. But, he also noted a hint of desire. There _was_ more the Raven than mere brooding.

"Well then," he said, not even bothering to hide his grin. She glared at him. If only he were straddling her, then she could just ram her knee into him. Then he wouldn't be so damn cocky.

As if reading her mind, he nudged her legs open and lay between then with a grin. "Wouldn't even think about it, Rae."

"Why _are_ you doing this? You know I could just throw you off me."

"But you haven't." He just watched her, his eyes seeming to darken. What was he thinking? She would probe into his head, but she had done that enough. Was it just her or was he leaning in? Nope...it wasn't just her. His mouth covered hers in a tender kiss. Okay, this was not expected, especially after their little chat about Terra. He always managed to make her lose all logical train of thought.

As the kiss became more demanding, he somehow rid her of the chains. Immediately, she wrapped her arms around his neck, bringing him, if possible, closer.

Wait! What if they were caught again and he said the same thing? What if he really was thinking of Terra? What if he was doing this to get him mind off Terra? Oh, what the hell. She would deal with her self-consciousness later. He once again took her cape off, though this time gently.

When he reached for the back of her leotard, she arched her back, giving him more room. She should stop him, she really should. But, damn it, she had waited so long for him to show even the mildest of interest in her, and now, hell, this was what she dreamed about at night. He had her leotard halfway unzipped when, of course, the door to Raven's room opened. _I really need to start locking my door somehow._

Beast Boy sat up fast, hitting his head against the edge of the dresser, and cussing a blue streak.

Starfire groaned, stomping her foot. "Not again!" On the verge of tears for ruining another moment, Starfire turned to Robin, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears, pleading for him to fix her mistake.

"We are so sorry to disrupt you and...uh...whatever you were doing." Robin raised an eyebrow at his own stupid remark. He knew exactly what they were doing, well going to do.

Raven, a deep shade of red, thought up something to say. "Uh.... we were just...um..."

"Playing Cops and Robbers." All eyes turned to the green teen who was gingerly rubbing his head. The three teens in the doorway looked incredulous, as did Raven, who blinked rapidly in embarrassment.

"Cops and Robbers, huh?" Cyborg asked, holding back a laugh. This was so much better than playing video games.

Robin had to cough so not to laugh uncontrollably. But one glance at Raven and her death glare, he instantly calmed, now paying attention to Star's feet.

Confused, Starfire asked, "What is 'Cops and Robbers'? Is it one of earth's mating rituals?"

Between laughs, Cyborg managed, "Don't worry, Star. You'll find out soon enough from Robin." Robin's face went from amused, to seething with anger and embarrassment as he glared at Cyborg. Thankful for the turn of pace, Raven reached behind her, zipped her leotard up, and stood up fast. Beast Boy stood also, and pulled Raven in front of him as a shield. She knew exactly what he was hiding from their teammates and smothered a grin.

"Cyborg..." Robin growled, fist clenched.

Cyborg gave an innocent shrug. "What? You know it's true. 'Cops and Robbers' is now just a really nice term for s—"Robin tackled to metal teen, catching him off guard, and sending them crashing to the floor in a tangle of arms and legs.

As the confused Star pulled Robin off, barely missing Robin's flying elbow, the door to Raven's room shut. Thankful for the dark, she cleared her throat. They had almost...if Star and the rest of the team had not shown up, well, her and Beast Boy would be... Chewing on her bottom lip, eyebrows drawn together in confusion, she wondered why she wished her teammates had never interrupted. _Damn Lust and her...lust, to hell_, Raven thought.

"Look Raven..."

"Cops and Robbers?" She asked with a hint of amusement. "Nice excuse."

"It just popped up in my mind." She knew he was probably giving an embarrassed shrug and her lips tilted in a small smile.

"But...you know how close we came to—"

"Yes, I know."

"If we had—"

"I know, Beast Boy."

"But—"

With a sigh, she turned to face him but instead ran into him. She had forgotten she had been standing in front of him. Clearing her throat, she asked, "Would you have felt guilty if we had?"

"Uh..."

"Even though I was helping you out, almost...pleading with you to do it?" She cringed at the thought of her pleading. Not exactly something she did everyday.

"Well...uh..." Tongue-tied, he just shut up completely.

"You would have felt guilty, and would have made up an excuse. Good thing they did interrupt us."

"Yeah I would have felt guilty."

She gave a small sigh, her good mood vanishing. Thank God Starfire interrupted, or tomorrow she would have been completely heartbroken.

"But I would only fell guilty because I rushed you. I would much prefer we go about it slowly." She blinked. Suddenly giddy with the idea that Beast Boy wanted her, she changed the subject so not to embarrass herself. " Do you still wish to visit Terra?"

Oh. He had forgotten all about that. "Oh yeah. I guess I should. Will you go with me?"

She groaned inwardly. She didn't want to be anywhere near Terra. But, since he asked, she agreed dejectedly. He could sense her dread, smell it as if it were her perfume. What did she have against Terra? _I'll figure it out later_. "Where did I put your cape?"

"I don't know. I wasn't exactly paying attention to the cape." He heard the slight embarrassment in her voice.

Laughing, her got down on his hands and knees, feeling around for the soft material of her cape. "I swear I need to buy you a lamp." He ran into the dresser again, cursed, and he heard a quiet chuckle. Raven had laughed at him. He made Raven laugh. He shook of the warmth the thought brought, and returned to searching for a cape.

"You know I can just get another one."

"Yeah, but that's too easy. I want to find this one." He heard her sigh and knew she was already on her knees. After hitting their heads twice, many vulgar words mumbled, they finally found the cape. Damn his head was pounding.

In the hallway, they walked out rubbing their head, and ended up smiling at their clumsiness. Clasping her cape at the base of her throat and letting his hand linger, he couldn't help but kiss her again. "Ready?"

"Yes." Morphing into a bird, he waited for her to follow. Suddenly, the thought of seeing Terra didn't sound so good.

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	7. Chapter Seven: Proving a Point

With a sigh, Beast Boy sat down, now depressed. He was always depressed when he came to see Terra. He should be thinking of all the good times they had together, but her betrayal always seemed to block out the good things she did. Which, once he really thought about, were not that much. Sure, she had helped save people, but in the end, she had been the...evil one.

"Is it helping any?" Raven asked calmly, studding Terra's rock form.

"Not really. Now, now I'm just...sad."

"It's to be expected. Did you expect to come here and be happy?"

"No," he grunted, grabbing Raven's hand and pulling her beside him. "What I thought was once I saw her, I would be reminded of all the good times I had with her. I mean I could laugh with her, talk to her, have her laugh _at_ my jokes, and I always seemed to make her happy no matter what. And I do remember all that. But...if I did make her so happy, then why did she betray me? She made excuses that she needed help with her powers, but _we_ could have helped. And she did have a choice. And her choice was to betray me. I loved her and she knew that, but she still chose to be with Slade. I just don't understand that. We actually could have had a life together. Hell, when we were old enough, I would have asked her to marry me. But, that's all in the past. She's not coming back and that's it. I'm through wishing she would come back."

Raven pulled her knees up to her chest and leaned her chin on them. She felt something inside her break. Was it her heart? It had to be. She defiantly had no chance with him. She didn't know he had loved Terra enough to want to spend the rest of his life with her. She could never amount to Terra.

"Maybe that is why the beast within you wants to break free. Most people could not take the pain of being betrayed, and, maybe, in your case, you created something to block out the pain. Replace it with rage and hate. It makes perfect since. It is almost like a split personality. You have been through a great tragedy that you do not wish to remember, so your mind creates something different to help deal with the tragedy. Therein creating a...beast. It is easier to deal with rage and anger than pain."

"Hmm...and how would you know all this?"

"I read."

"Oh, right. You do spend most of your time locked up in your dark room doing nothing but reading."

"Are you just trying to make me mad or does it just come natural to you?"

"Sorry, I was just pointing out what you do. No big deal."

"It is a big deal."

"Jeez, no need to get your leotard in a twist."

She glared at him. "What is your problem? You seem to get more and more irritating as the days pass."

"And you seem to get bitchier everyday."

"Why don't you just shove it up your as—"

He couldn't help the laugh that bubbled in his throat. "What a mouth you have on you, Rae."

She couldn't think of anything 'Raven-like' to say, so she settled with, "Bite me."

"Don't tempt me, Raven. Because believe me, I will."

"If you're so in love with Terra, you shouldn't even be thinking like that about me." She blinked. Why did she just say that? That was not something she should have said. Especially since Beast Boy was watching every move she made.

"I...uh...I didn't mean it like that." Red tinted her cheeks.

"How else could you mean it?"

"I...I just wasn't thinking straight when I said it."

He tilted her chin she now faced him. His thumb stroked her bottom lip. "You sound jealous when you said it, Raven."

"No, I did not."

"Yeah, Rae, you did. Are you jealous of my feelings for Terra?"

"Would it matter?"

"To me, yeah, it does."

"You act as if it some sort of sin for me to be jealous. So what if I am...oh." She didn't mean for it to come out like that.

"I had a feeling you were."

"So what if I am. I can have feelings too, you know."

"Like Terra, you keep making excuses."

She stood up fast. "First off, do not compare to me Terra. And second off, how do I make excuses? Where did you even get that?"

"You tell me all the time you can't feel. Well, hello! You just admitted you were jealous. _Like Terra,_ you make excuses. If you can't feel, then you can't be jealous. It seems to me as if you are scared."

She made a sound of disbelief. "Me, scared? Of what?"

"You are afraid to feel. I know you better than that, Rae. When you were with the wizard guy a while back, I heard you laugh. You hummed, for crying out loud. And did your powers go haywire? No, they didn't. Your hiding behind your powers, Raven. You might not be able to show much, but you know as well as I that you can show the tiniest portion. You're just being a coward."

"I am not a coward."

"Seems to me like you are. Hiding behind your powers is what I call scared and cowardly."

"Shut up, Beast Boy."

"Ooh, someone's mad that I found out their little secret."

"Beast Boy—"

"Can't handle the fact that someone sees right through you façade, can you Raven?"

"Shut up."

"You've said that already."

"I _do not_ hide behind my powers."

"Well, if you could have talked with that stupid wizard, laughed at his stupid jokes, than you can feel."

Raven smiled. "Do I hear a hint of jealousy?"

"Damn right, you do. For years I tried to make you laugh, but you and you're high-and-mighty act was to cowardly to show any type of small emotion."

"What you did was stupid and not at all entertaining."

"Yeah, but most people laugh at my stupidity. Why won't you just admit that you are a coward, afraid of doing anything that might actually change who you are?"

"If I were so cowardly, would I do this?" Leaning down, she yanked him up by his collar to where he was standing in front of her, and crushed her mouth to his.

She was not a coward, and she was about to prove it.

Pulling back, she gave him a mischievous grin before pushing his chest so he sprawled down on his back.

When she spoke, her voice was deeper. "Now we'll see whose the coward."

Straddling his hips, she braced her hands on either side of his head and leaned down to kiss him.

When she pulled back for breath, he quickly turned the tables and had her laying flat on her back. "How about we finish that game of Cops and Robbers?"

Her eyes darkened, mixing fear with excitement. He knew her answer when she pulled his head down to hers.

I enjoyed writing their fight. It was fun! But, once you think about it, Raven does seem to hide behind her powers. She laughed with that wizard guy, _cried_, yet she says she can't feel. Hmm.... anyways, hope you enjoyed this! Until next time!


	8. Chapter Eight: I Don't Want To Be Alone

Okey-dokie. I'm going to say this now. This is not like the show!!! Not at all. This is the total opposite of the show. I had no idea there was actually an episode of 'The Beast Within' until I watched it the Saturday it was on. So, when you read this, the only similarity is the title, the beast within him, and...that's it. Nothing else. Everything else is nothing like the show. Now that I have that cleared, I can say I'm back!!!!! I have the Internet and a different email addresses, but Jessemudflap still lives! Anyway, hope you enjoy this. It is the longest chapter I have ever written.

_                                                      x        x        x                      _

_Locked away from all but one_

_The beast is chained_

_The beast is shunned _

_One shall feel his pain_

_One shall not hide_

_One who truly loves_

_The one hidden by the beast inside_

_By: DragonWriter2_

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She couldn't breathe. No mater how she tried, she couldn't drag breath into her lungs. And she knew why. Beast Boy's teeth scraped her skin, his hands starting to wander down her stomach. "Beast Boy, stop. Please." She pushed at his chest, knocking him on his side and sat up, taking deep breathes. She couldn't do it. She could never get that close to anyone. Not without hurting someone...someone like Beast Boy. She was meant to be alone; her father had made sure of that. And if she went through with giving Beast Boy her body, everything could go wrong.

"Raven, what's wrong?" He reached out to touch her and she winced visibly. His face a mask of confusion, Beast Boy dropped his hand. "Did I do something wrong?"

"Beast Boy, I'm sorry. I just...can't do it. I can't get that close to someone without major consequences. I'm so sorry I led you on like that. I just...don't want to end up hurting you."

"Raven..."

"I'm so sorry." She lowered her head so her cape hid her features. He laid a hand on her shoulder and she flinched. "Raven, you have nothing to be sorry about. If you're not ready, then I can wait until—"

"I'll never be ready. I can't be close to someone with out penalties."

"What would be the consequences?" He could barely hide his irritation.

"Because if I get to close to you, then I'll end up falling in love with you." Beast Boy was beyond shock. He had expected her to say that she would blow him up, or a very important body part, or something like that. But never had he expected that.

"Raven...tell me how that would be a consequence. Because to me, it sounds more like a miracle."

She took a deep breath, her head still lowered. "If I did fall in love with you, it would just end in heartbreak. There is no way you could ever love me back and with my powers—"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold it. How in the hell do you know what I feel...well, okay, so you can read my mind from time to time, but still. You have no idea what I feel for you."

"I know because I'm not Terra." She jerked her shoulder away from the heat of his hand and stood up, crossing her arms under her breasts.

What the hell was he supposed to say to that?

"Is that what you think?" He asked quietly.

"It's what I know. I can never be her. I can't laugh at your stupid jokes or make stupid faces. I can't be outgoing, or loveable, or attractive, or even entertaining. How am I to think that you could love someone like me? Tell me that."

"Damn it, Raven."

"Tell me." She ground out between clenched teeth.

"Okay, your right. You can never be outgoing, or laugh at my stupid jokes. But I could care less. Who even said I liked outgoing girls? I'll admit it felt nice to have someone laugh at my jokes instead of laughing at me, but all the other things you mentioned are not important to me. And you are attractive. And you can be very, very entertaining"

Her shoulders slumped a tad bit. "But why did you love her so much?"

His brows drew together. "Because she was the first person to love me for who I am. She was not annoyed by my jokes. She laughed at them. She used to cheer when I finally won a video game. She _wanted _to be with me. She didn't care that I was green, or self-conscious, or that I'm not a real help to the titans. She didn't care about any of that. She loved every part of me, from the green teen, to the normal kid I used to be. She would always ask how I was doing, or why I happened to be green. She was interested in my life, who I was as a person." He was looking through Raven, to a place where he still had Terra.

"And she never made fun of me." That was aimed right at Raven, though he was still in deep thought.

"And so you see why I can't do this. You'll always love Terra. No one can forget his or her first love, nor can they get over it. So maybe...we should just go back to the way things used to be. Where you would rather play video games and I would lock myself in my room and read. It would be for the best."

"Jesus Christ, Raven." He rubbed his hands over his face, more confused then he had been before this whole thing. And he was not helping matters at all. "You asked why I loved her, so I told you. But you don't seem to realized that I mentioned _was_ or _used to be_, you know, as in past tense? Terra's gone and she's not coming back. Yeah, so I thought I loved her. But when she betrayed the team, me, I found that the only feeling I really had for her was a crush, lust, and desire. That's it. It wasn't love that I felt. Now, I know I don't love her. As a friend, yes, well, a stone friend."

Raven rubbed her temples. "Still—"

"No, there is not still. I don't love Terra anymore. Not even the tiniest bit." He walked to her and wrapped his arms around her. She didn't flinch or pull away, but instead laid her head on his chest.

"I know you're not ready for something like this, and as I said before you interrupted me, I will wait."

She sniffed, listing to his heartbeat, finding it calming. "But why would you want to wait for me?"

He sighed, his arms pulling her as close to him as possible. "Because Raven, I want to be with you. More than I wanted to be with Terra, with anyone. So, I will wait for you."

She closed her eyes, loving the way it felt to be held. "I don't deserve someone like you." She said to more to herself than anybody.

His chest vibrated with a chuckle. "I was going to say that I didn't deserve someone like you. I think were have just been categorized as a cheesy romance novel." She gave a small sound close to a laugh.

He lifted her chin and kissed her softly. "Ready to head back?"

She nodded, licking her bottom lip, which instantly snagged his attention. "I guess us coming here helped nothing."

"Well, I think it just might have helped. Now you know that I do want to be with you, so that's something. Right?" She nodded, biting her bottom lip. He groaned. "Stop that."

"Stop what?"

"You're tempting me beyond reason."

"How?" He pressed his lips to hers, outlining the place she bit with his tongue. "Waiting for you will slowly drive me mad." He felt her lips twitch under his. "But I can wait."

She leaned her head against his chest again, closing her eyes. "I could stay here forever."

"I wish we could. But, we have a city to protect."

"Yes, we do. So we best head back. The others might think we were attacked or something." She pulled back slowly, as if reluctant, and glanced up at him. Now that she was getting to know him, he was looking so different in her eyes. Now, instead of the annoying little shrimp he used to be, she was seeing how attractive he was, how self-conscious he was. He was starting to remind Raven of her. Sad, but true.

"How 'bout we walk. I need some exercise."

She stopped and looked him up and down. "Yes, I can tell."

He made a mock sound of hurt. "Well I never," he said, mimicking the voice of a Victorian female. She smiled, grabbed his hand and led him from the cave.

                                              x        x        x             

Robin watched as Starfire paced, his eyes almost crossing. When she paced, she almost literally wore a hole in the floor. "Star, they're fine."

"Are you so sure?" She sighed, running her fingers through her long hair, an action he had never seen her do before. "Beast Boy is most...irritable now and can easily eradicate any one of us. What if Raven had somehow made Beast Boy angry, and the beast within him is unleashed upon Raven. They have been gone over three earth hours and have yet to be seen. I am just...worried."

"I know, Star. We all are. But Beast Boy loves Raven, as a friend and more. I don't think he'll hurt her. He cares too much." She nodded, sitting beside him.

"You have noticed also?" She raised her knees to her chest, leaning her chin on them and watching the world from the large window.

"About Beast Boy's feelings toward Raven? Yeah, I have. I don't think even he realizes it."

Star gave a small, sad smile. "I find it truly distressing when one has feelings he does not know he possess, or even one who knows, yet will not admit it. Feelings are meant to be shared with the world. What is the point of feelings if one cannot share them with you? If you love someone, tell him or her, for they may never know. But one cannot change that." She sighed and turned her head to face him, laying her cheek on her knees. "Have you ever felt as Beast Boy does?"

_Oh yeah._ "I don't know." Damn. Star was right. If you love someone, they need to know. But he couldn't tell her how he felt. Hell, not even he knew what he felt.

"I have never known what love was until I came to earth. My sister felt no love for me, and I do not remember my parents. Of course some of the people on Tameran cared, but it was mandatory."

"Well that big guy seemed to love you."

She smiled. "Yes, you're right. I just wonder how it feels to be loved by someone else, someone like..." _You. _But she kept her mouth shut. He already seemed uncomfortable.

He cleared his throat, tapping his foot against the carpet slowly, then his foot picked up speed. She chuckled when he started to click his tongue. Yes, he was a might bit uneasy. "I am sorry to make you uncomfortable, Robin." He glanced at her and was surprised to find her grinning.

His eyes narrowed ever so slightly. "What is so funny?"

Her grin erupted in a laugh. "You are...how do you say... _adorable_ when you are nervous."

He blushed a deep hue of crimson and she giggled. "Uh...I...thank you?"

She chuckled. "You are welcome." He smiled despite his embarrassment.

Before he figured out what he was doing, he leaned toward her. Her smile slowly faded as she leaned closer to him also. They were so close she could feel his breath. Slowly, oh so slowly, his mouth descended towards her and...

"We're back!" They jumped apart as if they were caught doing something wrong and blushed a deep shade of red.

Beast Boy raised an eyebrow. "Did I come at a bad time?"

"No!" They screamed in unison, jumping off the couch with the heads lowered. Star flew to her room, Robin probably heading to the weight room.

Raven wrinkled her nose. "I think we did interrupt something. Something _very _important."

Cyborg grunted, popping up from behind the counter with a camcorder that was attached to his arm. "Dude! You ruined it! They were about to kiss!"

"What? Really? Lemme see!" Beast Boy bounced over to Cyborg and watched as Cyborg replayed the tape. "Awh, dude! You were serious!" Raven sighed, shaking her head at their childish antics. But she felt guilty at ruining a blossoming romance. So, she headed for Star's door. She knocked lightly, tapping her finger against her thigh.

"Who is there?" Star sounded a bit nervous.

"It's me, Raven. May I come in for a minute?"

"Of course." The door slid open and Raven was assaulted by slight sent of flowers. She walked in slightly, blinking several times to adjust to the brightness. Purple and pink were everywhere. At the room was so...clean and proper. Her eyes landed on the bed, where Starfire sat, cross-legged, picking at her long nails.

"Hey, Star."

"Do you think he meant to?" Star turned confused eyes on Raven, as if expecting her to known the answer. She pulled her knees to her chest.

"I...don't know. I'm sure he did. Robin is not one to do something he doesn't mean to." Star sighed, leaning her chin against her up raised knees. "I hope I am not hoping for something that is not meant to be."

Feelings of love were not exactly her forte, but Star needed to be reassured. Raven walked to the circular bed and sat on the edge. "Star, I don't think you have anything to worry about. Robin might act tough, but when it comes to you, he'll...jump in front of a truck just to save you."

Star gasped. "Why would he jump on front of a truck?"

Raven shook her head, actually finding her innocence amusing, not annoying. "It is just a saying. It means that he would do anything for you, like risk his life. He cares more about your well being than his own. What I'm saying, Star, is that Robin cares more for you than he lets on. When one of us is hurt, yeah, his mad, but when you are, he's pissed. Scared. Guilty."

"Why would he be guilty?"

"Because he couldn't keep you from getting hurt. I've noticed the he will unconsciously stay close to you in battle to protect you. And when you were betrothed to that...slim, I have never seen Robin so furious, or have him try so hard to stop it. He put more feeling in to saving you that he does when he tries to track down Slade. So, I'm sure that Robin was meaning to kiss you. So do not worry. And one of these days, he will admit his feelings for you." _Hopefully. _Raven stood up, actually happy that she could help. "Well, I best head back to my room." She turned to flee, finding it odd that she felt good about giving someone advise.

Starfire smiled. "And I am sure Beast Boy will admit his also." Raven froze halfway to the door to turn around. "Excuse me?"

"Have you not noticed?"

"Noticed what?" Raven asked quickly, too quickly.

"Well, if you do not know..." She trailed off, her smile mischievous.

"Starfire. What are you talking about?"

"Oh, it is of no importance. I was just talking without thinking. If you shall excuse me, I think I will watch Robin train." Starfire practically bolted out of the room, leaving Raven glaring.

"Damn." She mumbled, heading to her room. She grumbled, wishing she could slam her door. "Why did she even bring that up? Now, I'll be curious the rest of my life,"   
she grunted, crossing her arms over her chest. She then noticed the room was pitch black.

"Crap." She moved to her dresser when she felt the air shift beside her, as if someone passed by her. Before he could turn to see what or who it was, she was rammed against the wall, her arms pinned above her head.

"I never knew you to talk to yourself." Her breath came out in a rush. "Beast Boy. What the hell was that for?" She hissed.

He laughed, pressing his lips below her ear. "Just wanted to surprise you."

"Well, you did." She tilted her head to give him better access. Just a reflex, she reminded herself.

"So you admit it?"

"Well, yes, I just did." He chuckled, sliding a knee between her legs.

"Uh...wh—what are you doing here?" _Come one, Raven, don't stutter. That just makes it so much worse._

"Remember, I sleep here now."

"Yes, on the floor." His lips traced the side of her jaw and settled on her mouth. "Think we could make arrangements on that?"

"What?"

"If you let me sleep in your bed, I promise not to touch you...much."

"What?" Her voice actually squeaked, much to her mortification.

"Is that all you can say?"

She let out a breath, which feathered against his mouth.

"So, whadda say?"

"Don't you think that that is taking things a little far?" She swallowed hard, not used to having men, especially Beast Boy, ask to stay in her bed.

"It would be if I intended on doing more than just sleeping."

"Oh." That was the only word that formed in her scrambled brain.

"So, what do you say?"

He moved his hand to rest at her hip, pulling back to watch her eyes. "I...uh...o—okay." He kissed her once more, then pulled back and walked from the room, leaving her flushed and out of breathe. With a groan, she damned all men to hell.

                                                 x        x        x               

She jerked open the cupboards, snatched her tea, and slammed the pot on the stove, pissed at the world. How dare he do that to her! Reduce her to a blubbering idiot who can't even form complete sentences! Argh! Men should not have that power over her, especially Beast Boy. She yanked a cup from the cupboard, slammed it down, and waited for the water to heat, her long nails tapping against the counter. A habit she thought she had rid of long ago.

She heard a snort of anger and turned to see Starfire sit down forcefully, crossing her arms over her chest. "Men are a nuisances, a horrible, frustrating, bothersome, nuisance."

Raven made a sound of agreement. "What is your problem with men?"

"I tried to ask Robin about earlier occurrences, and he acted as if he had no idea what I was talking about! How could he not? It was not as if it happens everyday! Ugh, maybe I was right and it was just an accident. Do you not hate how men can make you feel as if your are not of importance?"

"Or how they can bend women at there will?"

"Why must women need men?"

"Children and that's about it. Oh, and sometimes it helps to have the around when you need to squish a bug or have someone to boss around."

Starfire snorted again. She was quite for a minute and Raven had a feeling she was about to blow her top. She slowly picked up her cup and hid a knowing grin when Star slammed down a fist, slicing the table down the middle. "I cannot stand men!"

-The door open and in ran the cause of their anger: men. "What was that?" Robin asked, ready for a fight. But Star turned her glare/snarl toward him and he visibly flinched. "Uh..."

"Come on, Star. Let's head to the mall or something. They are not worth our time."

"You are right." She passed by Robin, glanced at him, harrumphed with her chin raised, and flew out the door with Raven.

"Dude, what did we do?" Beast Boy asked.

Robin shrugged, wincing at the closed door. "Who knows."

                                            x        x        x                  

With a sigh, Starfire watched as people passed by their table. Her eyes lingered on a couple on the far side of the food court. They seemed so...in love, even from a distance. "You know, Star, there are more men out their. Not just Robin."

Starfire glanced at Raven out of the corner of her eye, almost glaring. "Beast Boy is also not the only man on this planet."

Raven's eyes narrowed. "And your point is?"

Starfire played with the edge of her cup of mustard. "I do not think I would ever desire anyone other than Robin."

Raven was quite, lost in thought. "What do you think is going on with Beast Boy?"

Starfire gave another hearty sigh. "I do not know. I do not know what ever brought it on. He went from...ordinary to what he is now."

Raven nodded, rubbing the cuticle of her thumb. "I wish I knew the cause."

"Why are you talking to me about this?" Starfire asked innocently.

"What do you mea by that?" Raven suddenly became defensive.

"You have by no means truly wished to communicate with me before. Most times, you do not wish to... oh, what do you say? ...Oh! _Waste useless time talking to me._ I was just inquiring as to why you wish to have a discussion with me at this moment."

Raven blinked rapidly. Had she actually said that? God, she couldn't be that bitchy, could she? She knew she had not been exactly friendly, but she had never thought she could be cruel. How had the titans put up with her? Especially Beast Boy. He had always been the one she had jumped on, the one who took most of her anger. She groaned inwardly. She was messing it up big time. This was the first time she had had real friends and she was ruining it. For God's sake, Starfire just told her that Raven had said talking to Star was a waste of time. Jeez. No wonder Beast Boy had never wanted to talk to her before. But why now? Why was he trying to get her to experience things she had never felt before, things that she had never really thought about? Why did he even want her?

"Raven, you seem deep in thought. Did I say something wrong?" Star asked innocently.

Raven shook her head slowly. "No. No, you said nothing wrong."

Starfire grinned. "Good."

Raven cleared her throat, keeping her shoulders straight. "About Beast Boy. Why is he...what I mean is..." Oh for God sake. She had never stuttered. But then again, she had never talked about men. Men who were interested in her, men that actually wanted to be with her. "Oh, never mind."

Star pushed her mustard aside. "Do you mean why is he all of the sudden...oh, what is your means of attraction? Mayhap it is called...desire? Is that correct? I need to ask Robin..." She sighed.

"Uh, I don't know what you mean, Star."

"I mean you are curious as to why he is suddenly desiring you?"

"Uh...I guess. He's just...different."

"Yes, well, don't all Earth beings go through a change that makes them different?"

Raven smothered a chuckle. "You mean puberty. What Robin went through, it still going through?"

"Yes. Is Beast Boy not going through '_puberty_'?"

"Not in the way you're thinking. Robin just got taller, more muscular, and his voice changed. But Beast Boy...he's turning into a beast."

"Maybe Beast Boy's '_puberty_' is changing into a beast."

"Star, Beast Boy was not always _Beast Boy_. He used to be like any normal human until he caught that disease."

"Yes, but again, maybe Beast Boy's puberty is changing into a beast. His DNA, as Cyborg calls it, is not that of a human. So, he would not hit '_puberty_' like a normal being. He might have his own way of growing up."

Raven sighed. Starfire was sometimes too smart for her own good. "But he was never like this before. Why now?"

Star bit her bottom lip. "Robin was not always tall, with a deep voice...or as clumsy." Raven chuckled. Robin was now lanky and was having a hard time walking without tripping over his long legs. He was not used to being tall, nor was he used to being clumsy. At the moment, he hated being tall. That is until Star told him that he looked fine. Then, all he would do was try to keep from tripping in front of her.

"The only thing that caused that was time. Maybe all it took to bring out the beast _was_ time. Raven, do not think you are the cause. It would probably have happened with or without you. It was just a matter of time."

It made sense. Maybe puberty was the cause, not her. Beast Boy did have to grow up sometimes, and instead of having normal growth spurts, he was, well, becoming a beast. But that still did not help matters. How where they supposed to help him if it was just puberty? No matter what, she always hit a crossroad with this.

"There might not be a way to fix this, Raven. Only time can. And maybe...maybe you just being there with him will help."

"And how do you know all this?"

Star blushed. "I do not know. It just seems logical. On Tameran, I was the one people went to with problems and usually, I could help."

"So you can fix your problems?" Raven asked with a raised eyebrow.

"No. That I cannot do. I do not know what to do now. When it comes to my tribulations, I am lost. I cannot help myself, only others."

"Well, then. I'm going to through what you said back in your face. Maybe it will take time. Right now, Robin is very confused. You see puberty is not just physical growing up. It's also emotional. And I'm sure Robin is scared about what he's feeling. Emotions are confusing. That is why I chose not to feel."

"Liar." Starfire said it so quietly Raven barely heard it.

"What?"

"Nothing. Maybe you are right. I will just give him time. I will act as of it never happened, as he his."

Raven nodded, watching the people around her. She hated crowded places.

"Excuse me," came a soft voice beside the table. "I am sorry to disturb you, but my son would love to have your autograph." Raven glanced at the woman, thinking she wanted Star's autograph, but the woman was looking at her. The woman tucked a piece of short blonde hair behind her ear, fingering the blue pen in her hand.

"Are you talking to me?" Raven asked carefully.

The woman nodded. "Yes. My son loves you. He thinks himself your biggest fan." Taken aback, Raven glanced down to find bright blue eyes staring up at her with awe. Raven glanced at the mother, at Star, then back to the little blonde boy.

Clearing her throat, Raven pushed back her chair and kneeled so she was eye to eye with the boy. "What's your name?"

"David."

"Hi, David. I'm Raven, of the Teen Titans." She held out her hand, expecting the little boy to take it. Instead, he launched himself at her, wrapping little arms around her neck. Surprise lit up her eyes, brought a dash of pink to her cheeks. Slowly, with a glance out of the corner of her eye at Star, she hugged the little boy back. Was she doing it right?

"I'm so sorry," the mother said, leaning down to pry her son's fingers from Raven's neck, but Raven shook her head. "It's fine. He's fine." Her breath caught when the little boy whispered something to her. "You're my hero." She was lucky she didn't cry. No one had ever told her she was his or her hero. She never expected anyone to even notice her. With Robin, the leader, Cyborg, the metal teen, Beast Boy, the green changeling, and Starfire, the beautiful alien, Raven had though herself invisible. She was the last one someone noticed. Except for this little boy.

The little boy pulled back with an adorable grin, his front two teeth missing. "Can I have an autograph, pwhese?" Raven smiled, grabbed a napkin and wrote her name with the pen the mother handed her. After the little boy trotted off, as happy as can be with her autograph, Raven sat down, bewildered.

"He was an adorable little boy." Starfire said with a grin, watching the little boy as he wondered off with his mother.

"Yes. He was."

"He seemed to love you."

"Umm hmm."

"I would love to have a child of my own. A real, human child...someone that I created, something that I can say is mine. I love Silkie to death, yes, but I want a real one."

"Star, you're a little young."

"On my planet, I am known as an old maid. Most women on my planet have had children by the time they were 13. My sister had her first...man when she was 12. But I wanted to wait for the right one, and I'm still waiting."

"Uh, okay. But you're only 17-years-old. Same with me, and I don't ever plan on having a kid."

"But why? Having a child would be wonderful! A pure pleasure, knowing that you have a child made from you."

"Yeah, but think of all the disadvantages. Changing diapers, staying up late, spitting up, and teething. It would be horrible."

"But Raven, have you thought of watching them grown, saying their first word, having someone that would love you for the rest of eternity—"

"It's not always like that, Star. I hate my father—"

"Buy you would be a mother a child would be lucky to have."

"Okay, now I'm just getting uncomfortable. Why am I even talking about this? I'm never going to have one so it doesn't matter."

Star shook her head, her eyes sad. "I feel so sorry for you, Friend Raven."

Raven glared, wondering why that comment hurt so much. "Yes, well, don't. I don't need anyone's sympathy, especially yours."

"Why do act as if no one cares? And why do you think that you are not worth the love of Beast Boy?"

"How do you know that?" Raven was beyond mad. She was mad at Star for feeling sorry for her and she was mad at herself for letting it hurt.

"I can just tell. You think it impossible that someone can actually love you, Raven. That someone would actually want to be with you. And you push us away, Robin, Cyborg, me, and Beast Boy. All we want to do is try to get to know you, to be able to understand you. All that Beast Boy wants it to love you, and yet you won't let him. You seem to want to be alone. Is that what you desire? For us to leave you alone so you can be by yourself? If that is what you wish, then I will try my best to stay away. I can ask the others to also, but you will have to ask Beast Boy on your own. If that is what you want, I will do it."

Raven swallowed, chastising herself for wanting to cry. She didn't want to be alone. "I don't want to be alone."

"Then why do you chose to push the people that love you away?"

"I don't know. Star, I have to go." A sugar packet exploded as Raven ran from the food court. She needed air, fresh air. No, what she needed was to mediate. She couldn't cry, not now, not when she was so emotionally unstable. If she cried now, she could never stop. Or she could end up hurting someone. She swallowed the lump in her throat. Why was she crying? What Star said was true. She did push the people that loved her away. But then why did it hurt so much? She didn't want to be alone. She couldn't handle it. Was that what was going to happen if she kept up with her act? They would get tired of her, become fed up with her always ruining the happy moments, become aggravated when she pushed them away again. And they would leave. Even Starfire would leave her. Oh God, what if she ended up alone? Before, she could have handled being alone. Hell, she was alone before. Before the Teen Titans, before Beast Boy, before anyone had ever loved her, she had known what it was like to be alone. But she didn't know now. She didn't want to know.

Before she knew it, she was back at the tower, almost running to her room. She pasted Beast Boy, yet kept her head lowered. He called for her to come back, but she ignored him and ran to her room.

She took a deep breath, crossed her legs, and mediated. It was going to be fine. Absolutely fine. Just because she was going to end up old and alone, with no one to remember her when she passed didn't matter. Oh God, this was not going to work. The whole tower could collapse with the strength of her emotions. Oh, why had she let what Star said to her effect her so terribly? Why did it matter that Star felt sorry for her?

It mattered because over the years, she had come to love the titans as the family she never had. Because she had unintentionally let the Titans break down the wall she had built over her heart. Because with out them, she was nothing more than a demon trying to be good, trying to rid herself of the evil that lurked within her. And now, she couldn't be alone. She actually _needed_ someone now. She needed someone to love her, to be there for her, to yell at her, to scream, someone to tell her that every thing was going to be okay.

The titan's had changed who Raven had been. And she had never known it until now. She was not the demon who controlled dark matter and had no feelings within her teenage body anymore. Now, she was a hero who controlled dark matter, and had more feelings inside her than she knew how to control. And, damnit, she needed someone to help her sort things out. She depended on the titans to help her now. And it felt right, to have someone she could go to, someone to help sort out her problems. She was so vulnerable now. More than she had ever been in her entire 17 years of breathing.

"Raven, please, I am terribly sorry for what I said. I did not mean it like that at all. I was just—"Raven opened up the door to face Starfire. And she did something she had rarely ever done. She let Starfire comfort her as she cried.

                                            x        x        x

Yes, I know Raven is not acting like the brood we all know, but like most teenagers, she's going through an emotion break down, or break through, either one. And, to me, it just made sense. Even Raven needs to feel. Anyways, I'll try to get the next chapter out as soon as I can.


	9. Chapter Nine: The Breaking Point

**_The beast shall battle  
The beast shall rage  
But the boy can't be rattled  
Or undue the cage _**  
**_Love brought control  
Love found the boy  
Now to pay the toll  
And bring joy  
The beast is locked away  
The boy shall now fight  
To keep it that way  
He'll now do what's right  
His loves heart he shall find  
Behind the walls of hate and ice  
The boy will reap the rewards of true loves find  
And the beast shall pay the price_**

_**DragonWriter2**_

Raven sat on her bed, staring into space. Her head hurt from crying, but that was the least of her problems. Why had she suddenly broke down like that? Of course she had found out that she couldn't be alone, but she never expected to just collapse emotionally. It was so unlike her. Even Starfire had been shocked. And Starfire was usually never taken aback. Raven closed her eyes, tired.

Someone knocked on her door, the sound pounding through her head like a drum. She groaned, rubbing her temples. "Come in." Well, at least her voice was calm.

"Raven, it is I, your friend, Starfire. How do you feel now that you have exonerated yourself of some emotions?"

Raven's answer was a groan.

"At least you emotions caused minimal damage. I am sure we can replace all the windows in the tower without much of a problem."

Raven groaned again. "Thank you for reminding me, Star. I'm sure we can survive winter without windows. We'll probably have to huddle together for warmth until spring."

Starfire was quiet; her hands folded in front her nervously. "Raven," she said quietly. "I am sorry that I said what I did. I had no right to—"

"Starfire, please. Not now. Maybe when I'm not in such a lousy mood."

Star nodded and walked out before Raven had a chance to say anything. Raven swallowed another groan. She had not meant to sound so rude, but right now, she didn't feel like doing anything. Maybe a nap would help. Raven crawled to the head of the bed, kicked off her shoes, and slid beneath the warm covers. Raven glanced at the clock, 5:45 P.M. flashing at her in bright red numbers. Tearing her tired eyes away from the clock, she glanced at her shattered window, the wind howling through her room. The temperature had dropped three degrees since her crying jag so it was now below freezing. Perfect. On top of a headache, she would freeze to death. Maybe a hot bath would help her frazzled nerves and pounding head.

She pulled the covers up to her neck and curled in a small ball. The bath could wait. She slammed her eyes shut, wondering what was happening to her. She was changing. She was not even acting like herself anymore. Hell, she didn't even know who she was. She had put on a façade for so long, she forgot who the real Raven was. She sighed softly when her door opened and closed.

She gave a slight shiver and sat up slowly to see who it was. Dark green eyes stared back at her. "Beast Boy, what are you doing in here?"

"I just came to see how you were doing. You wouldn't talk to me earlier so I just wanted to make sure nothing was wrong."

"I'm fine," she said, more cruelly than she intended. She pulled the covers over her head, knowing that it was beyond childish, but she wanted to be alone. And…anyways, her nose was still red from crying.

"Umm hmm. Look, Rae, I know something's wrong. I tried to pry it from Starfire, but sometimes she's as stubborn as you, if not more. And, anyways, I can tell something is wrong because of all the windows."

"Nothing is wrong," she snapped. "I'm tired, achy, and I really need to be left alone." Beast Boy yanked the covers down to her waist. She grunted and curled into a little ball, yanking the covers back over her.

Beast Boy glared at her, and pulled the covers down again, fisting the soft material in his hand when she tried to yank it back. "Yeah, well, too bad. You forget I sleep in here, now."

She glared back weakly, pushed the covers back along with his hand and crawled past him to throw her feet over the bed.

"Where are you going?" He asked, watching her retreating back with interest.

She mumbled, "I'm taking a shower," yanking clothes out of her drawers.

"Need help?" He asked with a grin, catching the rolled up pair of socks that was aimed at his head.

"In your dreams." She stormed from the room, and heard the small comment, "Oh, you are," before leaving him in silence. He stood there for a minute, picturing her in his mind, then climbed on the bed, leaning against the headboard. Folding his arms behind his head, he contemplated this whole deal with the beast within him.

It hadn't popped up lately, but what if it happened without being pushed? But now, he had this weird feeling in the pit of his stomach. It was as if he were...restless, his nerves frayed around the edges. He would snap at anyone if they brushed past him the wrong way. Luckily, the only damage he had done was shred on of Robin's capes…of course Robin had not been wearing it. Boy had Robin been pissed. It seemed as if his durable, fire-protecting cape was not designed to withstand a furious teenager with unpredicted moods. And Raven seemed to have a short temper these days. Though, she always had a temper. But it seemed to rub him raw when she said the smallest thing.

Like, for example, when she so rudely said she was fine. Why did she always have to be so…bitchy? He was staring to lose his patience with her. H e was doing everything possible to make sure she was comfortable in this relationship—

_And how do you know if this is even a relationship?_ The voice in the back of his mind taunted.

Oh no. He was so not about to have a conversation with himself again. Fighting with yourself more than once was a sure sign of insanity. But he just had to say something, even if it was to himself. It wasn't like he hadn't breached the walls of insanity before. _Because, she wouldn't have even let me touch her like the way I have been. Duh. _

_It matters not. For all you know, she is leading you own to get what she want._

Beast Boy rolled his eyes. _And what would that be? Couldn't be sex, or love, or anything else I can think of. I win._

His head was silent again, like it used to be: Silent and empty. "Ha. Thought so."

Anyways, he was always nervous, trying his best not let things get to him. He was so scared he would hurt a teammate, or worse, Raven. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if he did happen to hurt a teammate. They were his family, the only people he had. Without them, he was just a temperamental green teen who could snap any moment. If he hurt one of them, they would throw him out on his green butt.

_Especially Robin._ The voice in his head sneered. _Robin has never cared for you and you know it. He could care less if you stayed or left. All he cares about is Slade and putting him behind bars. And Cyborg would probably cheer if you left. The only reason he puts up with you is because Robin is not always up for a good beating at a video game. Star would probably forget your gone if you left. She loves everyone, yet can easily forget the less important people, like you. And Raven? _The voice scoffed. _She has never cared for you. Never. She never will either. Who could love someone like you? A no good, comedian who humiliates himself so other will notice him. And why would you expect Raven to notice you? Think about it. She is calm, collected, grouchy, and practically physically perfect. And here you are, stupid, lazy, green, and far from perfect. She could do so much better than you and she knows it. She is only putting up with you because she feels sorry for you. Your whole team does. Why do you think they have allowed you to stay with them? You never help the team, so why should you be allowed to stay? Because they feel sorry for you, pity you. No one would take you in the real world. You would not be able to survive. And so they put up with your lame jokes, allow you to fight though all you do is make a fool of yourself. The Titan's have no need for a weakling like you. Compared to the rest of the team, you are nothing, will never be anything. Even the alien is stronger and better than you. You don't even make the team look good._

Beast Boy's hands fisted in the covers, his sharp nails slicing through the fabric to pierce his skin. But the physical pain was nothing compared to the truth. He had always known he was no use to the team, but, though it made no sense, it hurt to hear someone else say it, even if it was in his mind. He had always been self-conscious about how the titans felt about him. He snarled at nothing in particular. How dare his team pity him. How _dare_ they. They had no right to feel sorry for him, especially Raven.

"Beast Boy, are you okay?" Raven asked, rubbing her hair dry with a towel. Her hands froze when he bare his teeth at her.

"Okay. I'll take that as a no." She watched as he pulled his nails from his palm, blood streaming down his wrist. Without thinking, she strode over to him. She grabbed his hand, palm up, and studied the bloodied indentions.

"Either you need to clip your nails," she held up his hand to glance at his long, bloodied fingers, "or quite clenching your fists so hard." He yanked his hands from her grip, startling her.

"Fine. Fix it yourself. I was just trying to help."

"I don't need you or you damn pity." Though the comment stung, anger was stronger.

Raven put her hands on her hips, glaring at him. "First off, I could care less if you need me or not. Second, I do not feel sorry for you. And where the hell do you get the idea I pity you? All I did was tell you that you needed to clip your nails. Jeez, you more emotional than a woman."

Beast Boy snarled at her, but all she did was raise an eyebrow. "Snarl all you want, Beast Boy. You don't scare me at all. Now, will you let me bandage you hand or are you going to be a baby about it?"

She snatched his hand, glaring at him when he mumbled a colorful curse. "Watch it, Beast Boy." As she grabbed the first aid kit from under her bed, she made sure to watch his eyes. So far, they were almost black with rage. That didn't bother her as much as the strips of red. She made sure to grab the chains also.

She laid the first aid kit on the bed slowly, never taking her eyes from him. He was watching everything she did with his eyes narrowed, as if he would lunge at her any moment. This was worse than any horror movie she had witnessed. Maybe she should tie him up first. That seemed logical. But even with her powers she was weak against him.

"Starfire," she called out loudly, jumping back when he growled. "Come here, please." His fangs lengthened slowly. Even at a time like this she couldn't help but notice how handsome long fangs made him look.

Her door opened. "Raven, did you call for me?" Starfire asked, wringing her hands nervously.

"Uh, yeah. Do me a favor and help me with him."

"Of course. What may I do to help?" Starfire walked closer, freezing when a growl issued from Beast Boy's lips.

"I, uh, need to chain him back before he snaps. I don't even know what happened. He just…changed."

"Okay." Starfire said slowly, walking cautiously toward him, waiting for him to lunge. He watched her every movement, his lips curling in a snarl.

Raven snatched the chains from the bed quickly, and his gaze snapped to her.

"We're doing this for your own good," Raven said nervously.

"Yes, Friend Beast Boy. We merely wish to help." He made a sound like an angry tiger, and both girls swallowed.

"Ready whenever you are," Raven said, her hands tightening on the chains.

"Maybe we should call Robin or Cyborg." Starfire hinted, flying behind Raven.

"We can do this on our own. I'm sure that if he was ready to kill us, he would have attacked already."

"But, I have seen the program on the television where some beasts will—"

"Shut up, Starfire." Raven snapped, more nervous than afraid. "Alright, on the count of three, I want you to pin him down."

"What?" Starfire screeched, clutching her fist to her chest. "Should you not be the one to 'pin him down'?"

"Look, Star, you're stronger than Cyborg. You can do it."

"But what of he bites me?"

"He won't. At least I don't think he will."

"Raven!"

"Okay, I'm sorry. I'll cover his mouth, okay? That way he won't be able to bit you."

"Yes, but he can easily scratch me."

"Fine, if your going to be a baby about it, I'll do it."

"Fine, I shall do it." Starfire whimpered, but her eyes and hands glowed.

"What are you doing?"

"If he attacks, I will attack back."

"Hmm. Good thinking. Alright, on the count of—"

"Raven?"

Raven sighed. "What Starfire?" She tucked her wet hair behind her ear, the chains rattling.

Starfire paused, as if looking around. "Where is Beast Boy?" Raven groaned.

XxX

He was not to be pitied. No one had the right to feel sorry for him, not after all he had done to make things right. He had tried to be a good fighter, risked his life many of times to help the others out, and what did they do to him? Pitied him! And as he slammed a fist into his wall, he decided, decided that it was time to teach the Titan's a lesson. And he would start with Raven.

XxX

Yes, Beast Boy is emotional turmoil, and who knows. He may be the one who finally destroys the titans. By the way, I am terribly sorry I have not updated in a while, but I had to send my computer off to install more memory. It's filled up to the max, so hopefully I will have no more problems. And, I did rewrite this chapter and the next one about twice each time. Well, till the next chapter!


	10. Chapter Ten: Pain

_**I'm going to warn you now. This chapter does contain rape; so if you don't like it, or if it offends you, please don't read it. I don't want to be flamed for something like this even though you were warned. Anyways, enjoy.**_

**_I really enjoyed this poem and the one at the bottom. So, I want to thank XxKajixOxMizuxX andDragonWriter2 for writing these. By the way, sorry for the long wait. I was writing this one and another chapter for this and decided that this one fit better._**

* * *

_The inside thrashes  
It tears to be  
Seen amongst the others  
It hides  
Inside  
The darkness surrounds  
It lulls him to sleep  
'Till dusk shall he awake  
Thrashing  
Tearing  
The body will tear  
The shameful beast awakens  
Within  
Trapped  
Insane  
Pondering faith among friends  
Love among her  
It harms  
It hurts  
The beast is now free  
The innocence that now remains  
Whispers 'Let me be...'_

_XxKajixOxMizuxX_

_

* * *

_"How can we lose a 17 year old boy?" Raven asked from her position on the floor. She dropped the couch with her powers and lowered her head with a groan. 

"I did not even know he had vanished. And, theoretically, he is partially boy, partially animal. So we could have lost any matter of creature." Starfire said, peering under a saucer. Raven raised an eyebrow and then shook her head in mild amusement.

"This is sad. Where the hell did he go? He was so angry with me. And I don't even know why." Raven sighed, crawling over to the table and glancing under it. He could be anywhere, anything: a fly on the wall, a roach under the couch, and rat in the walls. It was like trying to find a needle in a huge haystack in the middle of the night.

"This is impracticable. We have no idea where he is, or if he even wants to be found. What if he…never comes back? Oh, damn him for making me concerned." Raven jerked back, slamming her head on the edge of the table. Why had she said that out loud? She had never admitted even the slightest feelings before, and here she was, telling Starfire she was worried about the little rat. And damn that hurt, she thought, rubbing her head.

"Eeep!" Raven barley glanced up before Starfire crashed on top of her. Raven slammed down, stomach first, Star sprawled on top of her. Thankful she had already been kneeling down, Raven grunted. "What was that?"

"I saw something dart out and then something…pushed me."

"Pushed you?" Raven asked incredulously.

"Yes. I saw not what it was. All I caught was…green."

"Green?"

"Raven, must you repeat my words?"

"Yes. You said you saw green before you crashed on top of me?"

"Well, it did not push, but rather…tripped me. Like a tail, or rope. And it was green."

"Well, he was in this room, at least." Raven took a deep breath. "Star, could you please get off me?"

"Oh, certainly." Starfire was in the middle of getting off Raven when Robin and Cyborg sauntered in.

Starfire blushed at their raised eyebrows and amused grins, crawling off Raven fast.

Finally being able to breathe, Raven said, "Oh thank—" and broke off as green darted past her fingers. "There he is." Raven said, scrambling to her feet.

"Where?" Starfire asked.

"Who?" Robin and Cyborg asked in unison.

Raven glanced at them with a shrug, her eyes darting everywhere for any signs of green. "No one. It's a game. We're trying to find Silkie. He disappeared."

Robin raised an eyebrow and watched them quizzically as he grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator.

"Raven, mayhap we should give him time to…be alone." Starfire blinked, uncomfortable with lying to Robin. "Silkie is…somewhere."

Raven glared at her, dusting her cape off. "Yes, your right. I'm going to my room." Raven shouldered past Starfire, glaring as Robin watched her with his hawk eyes.

She sighed when she made it to her room, hating the dark, and searched for the candles she kept hidden in her trunk. As she kneeled down, she suppressed a shiver. She felt as if she were being watched.

Raven glanced around her, her violet eyes scanning everything, even the ceiling, to make sure there was no green fly plastered to her wall. She grunted knowing full and well that Beast Boy would not spend his free time watching what she did.

She leaned over to grab the tall, slim white candles, and snapped up when something clawed at her wall. She slammed her head on the top of the wooden trunk, and groaned. "What is with me always hitting my head?"

Slamming the lid down, she lit on candle and placed it inside the tall metal candleholders that were lined like soldiers along the carpet path leading to her bed. Once all candles were lit, Raven sighed. It all seemed so…romantic. She grumbled, "Since when am I a hopeless romantic?"

Deciding that she would spend the remainder of the time reading, she opened her drawer and grabbed a large T-Shirt and gray shorts. _Why I have never bought long pajama pants is beyond me._

She slowly undressed, still feeling as if she were being watched. Maybe she should change in the bathroom. _Come on Raven. You can dress in your own room. Anyways, there is nothing that anyone would want to see._ Peeling off her leotard, she watched her reflection with a critical eye. She twisted and turned, then slammed her hands down on the dresser, leaning in far to study her face. She had never really been interested in how she looked, but there came a time in everyone's life when they studied what other people saw in them. Right?

Raven fingered the ends of her hair, and then shoved aggravated fingers through the mass. She stepped back, and studied herself once more. To her, she was plain. Average. Average height, average looks, average everything, and even the bra and underwear she was wearing were plain.

But at least she was slim and had curves. Maybe too much curve, she thought, putting her hands on her hips. Her waist was slim, her hips flared just right. She shrugged her slim shoulders. At least she had that. She glanced behind her, grimacing at the angry red marks that marred her skin from the rocks. To add on to her average looks, she would be scarred. No man would want that. They wanted flawless skin and beautiful faces.

She grunted, snatching her shorts and tugging them on. She reached for her shirt and raised an eyebrow. She could have sworn she had thrown it down on the floor with her shorts. She sighed, grabbing her brush. She'd just find it later. After fixing her hair in a short ponytail, she searched for her shirt.

_Wait a second_, she thought. _Why don't I just get another one? _She rolled her eyes and turned around, slamming into a hard, warm chest.

Her eyes snapped up to Beast Boy's, and her angry retort froze in her throat. Beast Boy stared back at her, his eyes blood red, fangs bared. Okay, so he was still really, really mad. And here she was, in lose shorts and a black bra, staring at him like an idiot.

She glanced down, heat burning her cheeks, and caught sight of the black T-Shirt clutched in his hand.

She tried to snatch it, but he was quicker, raising the shirt above his head. He grinned, and she moved away from him. This was not Beast Boy, but something…evil, uncaring.

She folded her arms over her chest to save what modesty she could, her entire body flushing in embarrassment.

"Beast Boy, give it back." It was worthless, telling him to give back her shirt, but what else was she to do?

"Personally, I like you better without it."

She was beet red, backing up from him. _Of all the times to watch myself in the mirror, I do it tonight, while I'm being watched_. Perfect. He followed her as she moved back, taking his sweet time.

Her eyes darted around the room, then landed on him. _Think Raven. Use your powers._ She backed up, and stumbled when she hit the edge of the bed, sprawling backwards. He grinned again, watching her. And when he moved close enough, she slammed her foot into his mid section. He doubled over in pain, giving her a small amount of time to escape. She scrambled from the bed, snatched the T-Shirt from his hand, and yanked it on. She was not about to run outside in a bra and shorts. She heard him growl and jump up but she was already running to her door. _Almost there_, she thought to herself. But, it seemed as if fate was not on her side.

Large, strong arms yanked her back, her feet dangling. "Beast Boy, put me down." She kicked out, her heel connecting with his shin. But nothing seemed to hurt him. Tears filled her eyes as things become hopeless.

He pushed her down on the bed, slamming her hands down at her side. No matter how she kicked or withered, she was still doomed.

She cried out when he ripped at her clothes, and closed her eyes tight. She couldn't believe this was happening, even as the pain tore through her, tears stinging her eyes. Her fist clenched and tears leaked from beneath her eyelids. But no matter what she thought, she couldn't hate him. It wasn't even him doing this to her, well, technically it was, but she couldn't hate him. Even though the pain was almost unbearable, she didn't blame him. She blamed herself.

She concentrated on everything but the pain. She didn't want to be here, not at all, so, though it took everything she had, she lost herself in her mind.

* * *

_He thought it was gone  
He thought he was safe  
But he was wrong  
He fled from the place  
The beast now torments  
The beast now controls  
His emotions unstable  
The joy it had stole  
Love was now lost  
When shall he regain  
We he pay the cost  
Can he take the strain  
Will the girl who can relate  
The boys secret love  
Save him before to late  
Or will she shove  
The boy over the brink  
To stop a bloody feast  
She'll now have to think  
Her loves the only thing to stop the beast_

_DragonWriter2_

* * *

_**Short, I know, but I will hopefully do better thenext round. Again, I am so sorry if you were offended, but if you were…too bad. Sorry, that was rude of me, but I just gotta say what I feel, right? Well, till you read again!**_


	11. Chapter Eleven: Regret

Her emotions were calm.

Raven stood before them, breathing heavy and eyes clouded with pain. Despite the fact that she was in her mind, she could still feel the effect of the outside world. Of course, the horrible pain wasn't as bad, but it was still uncomfortable, and thus, causing her to cringing every time she walked.

But she couldn't understand the reason her emotions were so damn serene, as if nothing was out of the ordinary, as if Beast Boy—or at least the monster within him—wasn't ripping her apart as he raped her.

"Why?"

She didn't have to clarify. They already knew. Knowledge stood up slowly, flinching slightly. "Do we need to explain?"

Confused, Raven snapped, "Of course! Why the hell are all you so damn calm? Shouldn't you be…?"

"Be what, Raven?" Knowledge asked softly. "There is no reason—"

"Don't give me that. You should be…angry, hurt, scared, _something_."

"You're not," Brave said, hands resting against her lower stomach, fingers softly massaging the ache.

"Because _you're my emotions_. You're locked inside my head."

"And yet none of us feel any hate against Beast Boy," Knowledge remarked softly. "We…understand."

Raven felt the headache pound behind her eyes as she rubbed her temples in annoyance. "You don't make any sense. You shouldn't be so damn calm. He's _hurting _us."

"Not intentionally." Knowledge sighed. "Raven, you don't belong here. You're running away from your problems. Go back."

"Back? To where I'm being raped? Have I finally lost it?" Raven plopped down on a smooth rock, her fingers burying themselves in her short hair. "Why? Why should I?"

"Think about what this is doing to him. Think about the turmoil he is going through. He's mentioned before that he knew what he was doing, but had no control over it."

"You're worried about him when we're the one being—"

"He needs you."

"He's taking everything away! What is the problem with you? He's raping us. He's—"

"Are you really that angry that he has done this? Do you really hate him so much that you're willing to let him suffer? Raven, this is a small thing compared to what he's going through. He's being overtaken by an evil much worse than even Trigon. He's dealing with his own dark side that he has no ounce of control over. He knows he's hurting you, but can't stop it. Beast Boy had always been sensitive. This might break him more than you're words already have."

Raven blanched. "What do you…I haven't broken him."

"Jeez, you're so stupid. You know, we all know, that you say those things to hurt him because he shows an interest in us. You're scared of getting close to someone, and you hurt him because he's the only one to care." Brave stood up, arms crossed over her chest. "Knowledge is being a stupid intellect and giving riddles instead of going right out and saying it. Go back and help him."

"How the hell—"

"Figure it out."

Raven's eyes snapped open as the world bled back into her mind. She felt the pain, but now that she thought about it, it wasn't that bad_. People do say your first time hurts the most_, she muttered dryly in her head before allowing her body to relax beneath Beast Boy's.

Slowly, Raven glanced over at him. His jaw was rigid, muscles stiff, clawed hands bruising her skin. She felt the fingers flex, as if he was unsure whether or not a let go.

"Beast Boy," she whispered, flinching when he growled and slammed harder, faster into her. Biting her lip against the onslaught of pain, Raven turned her head so it rested against his neck. Hesitantly, she let her lips brush against the vein. She felt his rapid heartbeat beneath her mouth.

The Beast gave a furious growl, fingers tightening against her skin as his fangs bit down deeply into her shoulder. Raven cried out softly as blood slipped down her collarbone in a heavy river. But Raven refused to succumb to it. Gently, she bit down on his skin, almost in a loving caress.

"Dammit, Beast Boy, fight back," she begged, her breath hot against his skin. "I know you hear me. This isn't how my—_our_ first time together should be like. Don't let the Beast be the one I remember. I want you, not him. This isn't you, and you're strong enough to fight him off. Please, Beast Boy," she murmured, voice laced with pain as she shoved aside her pride and let the human within her free. "It _hurts_."

Suddenly, he reared back with an inhuman howl, clutching his head tightly, shoulder's bowing as Beast Boy fought back. Raven watched in fascinated horror as the muscles bunched beneath his skin and his eyes changed from red, to green, back and forth, as if in a tennis match.

Beast Boy hit his knees, slamming a first down as he roared again, his entire leaning down until his forehead rested against the ground.

Raven heard commotion outside her door, and before her teammates could so much as call out her name, snapped, "Leave, now! The first person that opens my door will face my anger. Got it?"

There was a pause before Robin reluctantly said, "If you're sure…"

"Please," Raven added, just to show that she was dead serious. "I…Beast Boy needs me…"

Slowly, Raven slipped from her bed, wrapping the sheet loosely around her chest. The first step she took was hard, for the ache between her legs nearly had her dropping to the ground. But she steeled herself and pushed forward.

"Beast Boy…"

"Stay away from me," he snarled. Raven felt fear prickle against her neck at the sound. That had sounded so much like her father it was scary.

"Please."

"Stay away from me, Raven!"

Raven swallowed as she stood beside him. He glanced at her, eyes so full of hate and anger that Raven felt her heart break. Slowly, Raven dropped to her knees.

"I…"

"Why won't you listen to me!" Before Raven could even blink, his claws swept out, slicing her cheek. She ignored the hot trickle of blood down her jaw.

"I won't leave you alone."

He growled, his hand moving with blinding speed as he slammed her to the ground by her neck. His powerful thighs held hers to the ground as he leaned down, lips peeled back in a snarl.

"You have a death wish, don't you?"

Raven watched his eyes, but all she found was hate. The fingers tightened, nailing piercing her skin. "Don't you get it? He doesn't want to return to how things were."

"I don't believe that," Raven said softly. "Beast Boy would never let harm come to his team."

His nails slid deeper into her skin, blood pooling beneath her nude shoulder. The blanket was twisted around her, but covered nearly nothing, leaving almost every inch of her lithe frame to his eyes. Raven felt his hot gaze drift down her body in unabashed desire, but didn't shy away.

"How do you think I came to be? Do you really think that I just appeared out of thin air? Sweet Raven. How naïve you are." Raven was strangely calm as he ran a clawed finger against her thigh.

"He let this build up. He pushed me aside, locked me away until I overrode his good, happy thoughts. I destroyed what innocent you left in him."

"What innocence I left in him? How do I—" Raven's question ended in a barley suppressed hiss as he slid a long finger into her, the claw gently scrapping against the tender skin. She gathered her strength and resumed her question. "How do I have anything to do with this?"

Raven tried to ignore his hand as they did wicked things. She did not want this. This was wrong, so wrong. This wasn't her Beast Boy, the one she had dreamed about, yearned for since Terra had betrayed them. Watching him, the true evil dancing merrily in his eyes, was killing her.

The Beast smiled. She had seen that smile so many times in the years that she had been with this team, but now, she found no familiar warmth, or charming innocence. Now, it was nothing but pure evil. How could something so dark linger within Beast Boy? How could such a sweet, gentle boy harbor such a horrible personality? There had never been any trace of hate in him, even when Cyborg picked jokes at him. He had hurt, as everyone did, but he handled it with the ease of someone who was used to sorrow. Was this really what Beast Boy had been hiding within him? Could she…really have caused this?

"Isn't it obvious? He was in love with you. More than Terra, even. You were his everything. But you knocked him down until his confidence dwindled down to nothing, ripped at his already crushed heart until there was nothing left to pick up. Your insults and rejections messed with his head, made him believe that there was nothing in him worth loving. So I was created, to mold the hurt and rejection into anger. I'm his barrier, now. I'm his entire soul. He gave me free reign of his body, because the pain became too much. Losing Terra, the only one who he thought loved him, broke the chain that held me. He doesn't care anymore, and you're the reason why."

"You're lying," she said weakly, surprised to find her voice hoarse with tears. Yet nothing exploded around her as the overflowed from her bright eyes.

"Am I? No, you know I'm speaking the truth. I see it in your eyes. You know you're the cause of this. You know it's your fault that I exist in the first place. And it will be on your head when I rip him apart from the inside."

"Stop it! I won't let you take him away from us. You're nothing. You're weak. How else would he be able to rein you in, keep you at bay? You're afraid that he'll take over, that he'll destroy you and everything you've sought to gain. I told him you were hurting me, and he fought back. You were nearly pulled back into the hole you came from because he doesn't want anyone on his team hurt."

He hit her, hard, splitting her bottom lip deeply. But Raven merely tossed her hair from her face with a small, triumphant smile. "Not so confident now, are you?"

Raven hissed as he leaped up and slammed her against the wall. Raven ignored the fact that she was completely nude, ignored the fact that his thigh was shoved rough between her thighs, ignored the hot trail of blood and the white spots that danced before her eyes.

"You sicken me. I hate you with every ounce of my being. I'd give nothing more than to see you dead."

It hurt, more than anything, to hear him say that. She knew that this wasn't her Beast Boy, but dammit, it was still a part of him. It was still _his_ voice, _his_ body, _his_ mouth, telling her that he wanted her dead.

"Then kill me." It was so easy to say that Raven nearly wondered if she was part suicidal. It didn't help that she was ready and willing to die by his hands.

Raven's body was lax as his fangs nicked her jaw, blood beading against the broken skin. "For some damn reason, despite the fact that he hates you, he won't let me kill you. He won't let me kill any of you. But he didn't say anything about hurting you."

"He's still giving you orders, I see." Body numb from the agonizing truth that she had caused this monster, Raven barely felt his claws dig into her side or trail back up. His fingers tapped a steady rhythm against her collarbone.

"No one orders me around."

Raven knew this couldn't keep up when he slashed her from collarbone to way below her ribs. This cut, though, was deep. Blood quickly coated her body. Her vision swam, then seemed to blur. Color seeped from her vision, leaving everything in white and grays.

"I never meant to hurt him," she said softly, watching the blood as it dripped down to her carpet. "I never thought that my sarcasm and jeers would destroy him. If I had known…"

"Shut up!" He hit her again, sending her body to the ground. But Raven did not even try to get up. Her body was weak and aching and frankly, right now the monster she had created within Beast Boy was not worth fighting.

But she did reach for the sheet that had fallen when he had slammed her against the wall, her bloody fingers curling around the cloth and jerking it to her.

"He's not fighting against me." The Beast said cruelly, tipping her chin upward. "He knows that you're hurt, yet he make no move to stop me. What does that say about his feelings toward you? He might have tried to stop me when I raped you, but now, he's merely sitting back, watching as if this is a stupid movie."

"You can't hurt me with facts I already know."

"I've taken notice that you don't fight me, either. You don't chant your mantra, or send me flying into a wall. You let me slice your skin, take you body ruthlessly. You're eyes do not even flash fire at me. They're…dull."

"Aren't they always?" She asked wryly, but there was no depth to her voice. So, Beast Boy wasn't fighting against him. He was allowing his…dark side to hurt her. But what did she expect? For him to help the one who had ruined him? Maybe she deserved this. Maybe this was the only way to fix all the pain she had caused him.

Raven leaned forward as her body threatened to give out completely, head bowed so her hair covered her face. "I take it the only way to bring him back is to hurt me, to get his revenge. Would it be the only way to get rid of you?"

"Your death is the only thing to get rid of me, but I'm not stupid enough to succumb to my temptation and kill you. So you're stuck with me."

Raven felt her blood soak through the cloth of the sheet. "If…I leave…will he come back? If I were to leave his life forever, would he revert back to who he was before me?"

The Beast frowned, and actually seemed to think over her question. "I'd ask him, but then that'd give you an unfair advantage. Have you ever considered that maybe Beast Boy is gone forever? Beast Boy…what a childish name."

"There's got to be a way," she murmured. Beneath the curtain of her hair, Raven smiled. "I guess the only way is to get inside his head."

Raven said her famous manta and collapsed in her own tiny pool of blood.

* * *

It was short. I am aware of that, but if I had written more, it would have messed with my plans. I am so sorry that this took so long, but now that The White Rose is…over—so sad—this one will be my next focus. Then, the sequel to TWR. So I'm sorry if this chapter was sucky and didn't met your expectations, but I will say that I tried really hard to make it worth the wait, even if it is short. I'll get this next chapter up quickly, if I can. 


	12. Chapter Twelve: His Pain

The information of Beast Boy's past was found at a Teen Titan website. I'd write the link, but it won't appear, so there's not use in typing it. I left out a lot of his past, because it didn't fit into the TT shows, so if anything imporant was forgotten, I'm sorry.

* * *

His mind was nothing like she imagined.

Raven blinked, the sheet held tightly to her chest, and stared at the screen. Inside his head was like an old time movie theater, with old, red cushioned chairs. A movie played rapidly, but Raven realized, after a pretty woman with brown hair, called Beast Boy's name—his real name—that these were his memories.

Swatting at a cobweb, Raven glanced around the cold room, breath forming a white cloud before her. It did not take her long to find Beast Boy.

As the laughter of the woman bounced pleasantly off the walls, Raven moved toward him, but kept her eyes on the screen.

The woman held a pretty little toddler in her arms, smiling softly as she brushed a strand of hair from his forehead. But then the picture seemed to break in half, and before she could even blink, another memory resurfaced.

This time, that pretty woman was sobbing, hand pressed against her mouth as she looked down at the toddler. He was lying on a simple cot, covered to his chin in piles of blankets as he shivered and coughed. But Raven paused in her pursuit of getting to Beast Boy when a man appeared on the screen. He looked so much like Beast Boy that Raven couldn't help but gasp softly.

So this was what Beast Boy would have looked like had he never become a shape-shifter. He was an impossibly handsome man, with dark hair and green eyes. His shapely mouth was turned down in a worried frown as he glanced down at a strange looking machine that Raven had never seen before.

"This is our only chance. If we don't try…Garfield won't survive this. This disease…I don't understand how he got this. Only animals have ever made it through this alive…"

"But, Mark, we have to try! We can't let him suffer like this! He's only a child! Please, Mark." The woman lowered her hand; her eyes gleaming with unshed tears. "Do it. I won't take the chance of losing my son."

That memory disappeared, and now Raven was watching as young green boy picked at a flower, smiling at something his father said. It was that smile again, the one that had her heart pounding.

But now, those eyes were innocent, and so damn happy that Raven felt the strange prickle of tears. She had only seen his eyes like that once. He had only looked at one person with those beautiful eyes.

Terra.

Lowering herself into the closest chair she could get her hands on, Raven closed her eyes against the pain and let her mind recollect itself so she could concentrate on the task at hand.

The laughter died as another memory flickered on the worn screen, and her eyes snapped open at the sound of a terrified gasp. The woman, who Raven now realized was Beast Boy's mother, stood stock-still as a large snake stared at her with cold, calculating eyes.

She saw Beast Boy, eyes wide, move toward his mother. But she cried out, telling him to go get his father. But Beast Boy refused to listen. When the snake lunged, Raven's breath caught in her throat.

Was this how his mother died?

But the question was answered when Beast Boy called out his mother's name and morphed into mongoose. Raven studied the mother's expression as her son sank sharp teeth into the snake in his animal form. Obviously, the mother had no idea of her son's capabilities, for she slid down to the ground, eyes dialed with shock and full mouth parted as her breath rushed from her lungs.

With the snake dead, the tiny green mongoose turned his eyes to his mother. Raven felt her heart crack slightly at the pain in his eyes as he waited for his mother to run away screaming.

But his mother smiled, holding out both arms. Beast Boy leaped, head burrowing into her chest. "Oh, Garfield. Thank you."

Then it was gone, and Beast Boy seemed to be around the age of ten. His arms were crossed defiantly across his chest as he scowled.

"I'm not going, Mom. I've been going with you for the past two days and I'm getting tired of riding around in a boat. It's stupid, anyway. Why do you have to go out all the time?"

His father sighed as he helped his wife into the small boat. "Gar, it's our job. It's the reason we came to Africa. This is our life, son. We thought that you might want to see why we love it so."

Raven's eyes slid to Beast Boy's frame, sitting stiffly in his chair. All she could see was the side of his face, but she noticed, as the light of the screen played over his features, that his jaw was clenched tightly. And from where she sat, she could see the tears dancing in those haunted eyes.

Her heart breaking, Raven stood slowly. She walked toward him, the sheet dragging behind her almost like the train of a wedding dress. Stepping onto the row he was sitting, Raven made her way to him.

And froze.

Thick chains held his wrist and feet to the chair, but his was not fighting against the restraints. His bare chest was rising and falling frantically as he struggled with his memories. She stood beside him, hands white against the sheet, and sat down slowly next to him as her eyes returned to the screen.

Beast Boy was bickering with his parents now, nose wrinkled slightly. "I really don't want to go. Please. Just this one time, can I stay and play?"

His parents exchanged glances before his mother sighed. "Alright. But stay on the shore, okay?"

Beast Boy nodded happily. "Thank you! I promise to stay right here!"

Raven slid her eyes to Beast Boy, only to find the tears spilling from his eyes. Raven didn't understand. Why was he—

But a loud explosion rocked the theater within Beast Boy's mind, and Raven jumped, eyes snapping to the screen. Smoke billowed from the water as remains of his parents boat rained down upon the ground.

The young Beast Boy seemed frozen on spot as he watched the boat sink beneath the murky water. And then he was screaming for his parents, diving into the water without thinking. Raven wanted to turn away, but she couldn't. She couldn't tear her eyes away from the broken boy as he searched for his parents. Raven wanted nothing more than to reach out and take the weeping boy into her arms, to comfort him and hold him until the tears were spent.

Instead, Raven reached over and slipped her hand into Beast Boy's. He gave no sign of knowing she was even there, but he spoke softly.

"If I had just gone…if I had just asked them to stay…they'd still be here. It's…my fault. I'm the reason they died."

Eyes wide, Raven turned to him. But he was staring straight ahead; his fingers limp against hers as he delved into tragic memories that he had held within him. "It's not your fault, Beast Boy. None of this was your fault. If you had gone with them, you'd be dead. But if you had asked them to stay, they would have ended up on that boat anyway. It was their time. You're not to blame, Garfield."

Raven didn't expect it when Beast Boy bent forward, chained hands clutching his head as he sobbed. Raven's hands hovered over his back, unsure if she should touch him. But the part of her that loved him with her entire being took over, and she gently ran her fingers against his spine.

"It's not your fault," she repeated softly. "You were a child. That's…something a child should never have to witness." Raven moved forward, resting her forehead against his side. Even in his mind, she could smell the clean, warm scent of him. There was no odor of tofu that Cyborg swore was Beast Boy's signature scent.

"How…how did you turn out so perfect, then? Watching your parents die…then…" But Raven realized that she had no idea what had happened to him between his parents' death and his time with the Titans.

The screen flashed, but this time, instead of leading through a period of that time, it was brief flashes. Raven sat up slowly as she watched a small Beast Boy steal and plunder as two people stood by and watched with greedy eyes. A man, who's eyes radiated hate, appeared, and Raven felt herself hate the man immediately. Raven heard his name, but couldn't grasp on to it as Beast Boy stared at himself in a mirror.

Raven couldn't believe what she saw.

This boy, no more than twelve or thirteen, looked as if the world had collapsed around him. His eyes were dark with hate and pain, jaw tight and lip bleeding and swollen. His hands were bruised and bleeding, his green chest, already muscled with the hardships of his crimes, cut and covered with blood. He was so small, ribs visible through his rough skin. Burst of memories danced around him as he stared at himself, chest rising and falling and eyes darkening each second.

And then she saw her. It was the woman that they had fought with when the Doom Patrol had aided the Titans. She was holding out her hand with a soft smile. Beast Boy stared at it, his face, once breathtakingly beautiful, hard with the hate of the world.

But he took her hand, and for a moment, his memories were happy again. Rita—as she had found when a member of the Doom Patrol called out her name—became like a mother to him. The leader of the team was like his father, though he was often brash and difficult. When the leader would train him to the point where he collapsed, Rita would dab at his wounds and joke softly with him until his lips curved in a small smile.

The memories darkened once again as his failures tallied up. The leader of the Doom Patrol screamed and yelled at him, and the darkness seemed to cloud his eyes once again. Rita, it seemed, was the only thing keeping him sane.

The jokes came now. As his teenage years approached, the jokes came forth. He wasn't trying to be funny, Raven found as she watched him. He was trying to get others to notice him. He seemed to bask in the attention he received, even if they called him stupid.

_At least they know I exist. _

Raven felt the now-familiar tears slip from her eyes as his thought played out along with his recollections.

_I won't be alone any more_

_They won't hate me. _

_They won't leave me. _

_I won't disappoint them. _

"You're a burden to this team, Beast Boy," the leader of the Doom Patrol said, eyes hard. Rita turned her head away from the pleading eyes of Beast Boy.

And he was walking the lonely streets, eyes hard beneath the purple mask. But the farther he walked, the more his eyes lightened with despair.

_I'm alone again. _

Robin flashed inside his head, followed by Cyborg, Starfire, and…her.

_I want to make her laugh. _

Raven's hand unconsciously tightened against his as her heart pounded ruthlessly against her ribs.

She's beautiful. I don't care if she's a bit dark. I don't care if she's sarcastic. I…I want her to love me. Only her.

"We don't have time to deal with your stupid jokes, Beast Boy."

"Stop bothering me, Beast Boy."

"I'd prefer it if you left me alone."

"I have no desire to partake in anything that involves you."

"Stay away from me, Beast Boy."

"I hate tofu. Don't bring it near me."

"Your jokes are absolutely childish. Nothing you do will ever make me laugh. Stop trying. It's pointless."

"A giant chicken. I must be the luckiest girl in the world."

"One day without you talking would be a miracle in itself."

Raven felt her body stiffen completely as her words replayed themselves, over and over. Each one was more insulting, more hurtful than the last. Some actually had her heart chipping at the sides.

This was how she treated him? This was how she talked to him, when all he was trying to do was get her to notice him?

And then Terra appeared. Beast Boy smiled, laughed, loved. He joked and kidded with her, basking in her laugh.

He held her hand. He traced her jaw with his finger. He kissed her with enough passion to have her limp in his arms while his mouth plundered hers.

Raven had to turn her head away when the memory shifted to their first time. She tried with everything she had inside her to block out the ragged sound of his voice as he warned Terra of his inexperience.

"I've never done this before, I hope you know. Not everyone wants a green teen in their bed. You're lucky I've even made out with other girls before." Her jaw tightened painfully when his breath came out in a hoarse groan.

"Hmm. Are you sure you wouldn't rather have Raven here?" She couldn't help it when her head snapped up.

She barely had time to register his wide eyes or the hesitant shape of his mouth before Terra smiled wickedly, and slammed her hips down against him, taking him completely in to her.

"Dammit," Raven seethed, heart ripping in her chest as she turned her head away from the screen. "Anything but this."

Beast Boy's eyes briefly flickered to her face before staring forward again.

"Do you love me?"

It was Terra's voice again, but this time, it was slightly haughty.

His answer was like a bullet to her already broken heart. "More than anything."

"More than her?" Terra didn't have to say her name. Raven knew she was talking about her.

"How can I love something so dull?"

Raven closed her eyes slowly as the waterfall of tears slipped down her cheeks. It was a wonder that he could pull forth such emotions from her. Before this, it had been hard for her to even crack a smile. Now, she was crying, her heart, which she had told herself didn't exist, shattering into tiny fragments that could never be glued back together.

"But you loved her?"

"She hated me," he said lifelessly.

"You loved her."

"I did. But no more. Never again. She'll never have hold of me again."

"Will you leave with me? Will you come with me, stay by my side forever? Will you leave _her_?"

"Without a second thought."

Raven stared at their linked hands, her vision blurred. His grip was loose. He wasn't even trying to hold her hand.

"I love you, Beast Boy. I want us to be together forever."

"Okay."

"Okay? That's all? Don't you love me? After all we've been through…it's because of her, isn't it? You still love her?"

"I can't stand her. She's nothing. She never was anything. You're everything now. You're the one who holds me heart. You always will. I love _you_, Terra. Raven was merely a distraction until you came into my life."

"You'll be my friend no matter what happens, right, Beast Boy?"

"Of course."

"I really did love you, Beast Boy."

"Don't do this to me, Terra." His voice was deep with pain and Raven turned her head to watch the memory. Terra was standing over him as he clutched on to a ledge. His fingers were bloody, face scratched from the rocks. His top lip was busted, and a steady stream of blood dripped down his chin and onto his uniform.

"I'm sorry, Beast Boy. Slade…offered me more than you or your team ever could. Besides…it would have never worked. You love Raven. Nothing can change that. I was merely the girl you took to your bed every night, but it was her you dreamed of."

"That's just an excuse, Terra. You're in love with Slade, aren't you?"

"Maybe. But I do love you. You've made me laugh more than I ever had. I'm grateful for that."

"You don't love me. You were using me to get to my team. I was just your way into the tower so you could destroy us all."

"But you have to admit, the sex was great."

"Dammit, Terra, you're betraying us. Your betraying the team that took you in when you had nowhere to go. You're…betraying me."

"I'm sorry, Beast Boy. It was nice while it lasted. You just…didn't love me enough."

"I was willing to leave everything for you! I was ready to give up all I love here for you! How the fuck can you tell me I didn't love you enough?"

Terra shrugged her skinny shoulders, tossing her long blonde hair behind her as she gazed off in the distance. "You're making this harder than it needs to be."

"Tell me. Please, just tell me…did you really love me? Or was it all a ploy? I…need to know. Please, Terra."

Terra's face twitched before she turned back to him. She crouched down, thin fingers brushing against his bleeding jaw. "Beast Boy…I…" Raven was surprised when tears slipped down her flawless cheeks. "I really wanted to be with you forever. I won't lie about that. But…had it not been for you love for Raven…maybe…Slade's offer wouldn't have been so tempting."

"I don't love her."

Terra smiled. "Lying to yourself gets you nowhere. I never told myself I was good. There's no point. You love Raven, not me."

"Terra—"

"It's over, Beast Boy. Be happy with what we had."

She leaned down to kiss his, lips pressed roughly against his even as she ripped the rocks from beneath his hand. Eyes wide, Beast Boy tumbled down, the darkness swallowing him.

And now, the memories had returned to the present, when his beast had first emerged. The wolf leaping at Doctor Light as he ranted about Terra. Beast Boy cornering her in the hallway and kissing her. Telling her that kiss was a mistake, and that his mind had been on Terra. The moment of 'cops and robbers' where Raven had almost been willing to let him take her. The cave, where she pulled away from her, not yet ready to give her virginity away to him.

And the rape.

Raven sat up in her chair as she watched from a different point of view. She watched her eyes go blank as she slipped into her mind. She watched the pain flicker in her violet eyes as she tired to wrestle Beast Boy back into his own body. She watched as he hit her, over and over again. Watched her blood spill from her own body as he shredded the skin.

Beast Boy had watched his? And he hadn't fought against his chains?

Raven pulled her hand back as the screen went black, washing them in complete darkness.

Hands lying limply in her lap, Raven debated on whether or not to return to her own mind. It was clear that Beast Boy wasn't fighting back for a reason. The sane part of her, the one that was shattered beyond recognition, wanted nothing more than to return to her body and let the Beast hurt her. What was the point, now?

But the demon within her wanted to know the exact reason he was letting himself—as strange as that sounded—hurt her so bad. Sure, she had called him names and insulted him, but was that really a reason to let his evil half treat her like a punching bag?

It wasn't surprising in the least when Raven snapped up in anger. The sheet fell and gathered at her hips, but Raven's paid it no heed. A meager light flickered on around her, bathing her skin in a golden hue that brought color to her gray complexion.

Hands on hips, Raven tossed her hair behind her shoulder, violet eyes narrowed. Beast Boy glanced at her with a frown, doing a double take at her naked torso. A swift glace down showed her what really had his attention. It seemed that her wounds had come with her.

Her stomach was completely covered in blood that still oozed slowly from the deep gouges. A sweep of her hand across her mouth showed wet liquid. And she had merely thought that they putrid taste of metallic blood was old.

Eyes clouded, Raven lifted her chin slightly, vaguely amazed that she felt no pain despite the bleeding wounds. "I know you care nothing for me anymore, Beast Boy. I know that I hurt you. I never realized how cruel I was to you. I deserve anything you throw at me. But letting the Beast within you hurt me like this…physically, no less…it's not fair. I hit you emotionally. You're hitting me physically."

"It's not me." Raven flinched at the dead tone in his voice.

"You're allowing it."

"You deserve it."

Raven opened her mouth, but once her mind too in his reply, everything she had thought to say disappeared, leaving nothing but an achingly numb heart and an empty head. She couldn't think of anything at all to say. It was if he had flipped a switch inside her mind that shut off everything that made her human.

Raven stared at him blankly, blinking slowly, before everything came rushing to her. The pain was so intense that Raven didn't know how to react. This was nothing like the hurt he had caused by saying that he had picture Terra when he kissed her. This…he was willingly allowing the Beast to hurt her.

He wanted this. He wanted her to pay for all her sins.

And she was.

Raven picked up the sheet, eyes off to the side, and turned away from him. She wanted to go home, back to the physical pain. Maybe…it would take away from the agony of the knowledge that Beast Boy…just didn't care.

He called her name, but she didn't hear him. The sheet, bloodied now that she realized it, was clutched tightly to her chest once again. Like in a trance, Raven pushed open the worn doors, and seemed to step back into the real world.

This time, she said nothing as the Beast raped her once again.

* * *


	13. Chapter Thirteen: Of Blood and Tears

She wasn't fighting back.

Beast Boy leaned back against the cushioned chair as he watched his own body rape the girl he swore he would never love again. Raven seemed so…lifeless as she turned her head away from the Beast, blood still running down her skin from the countless bite marks coating her neck.

Hands fisting, Beast Boy jerked his head away from the screen. She deserved this, right? She had hurt him as well. It was only fair that she pay for what she did to him.

But was this really the answer? Wouldn't it have been just as useful to just tell her what wrongs she had done and get on with life? Instead, he was letting the evil in him defile her entire being. This wasn't just a physical act of violence in the Beast's mind. He was destroying her body, mind, and heart all in one deed. Raven wouldn't be able to get over this. Who could? She had trusted him with her body, had promised him it, and now, he was letting a part of him take what she was almost willing to offer.

How could she want him after this? How could she look at him the same, remembering his hands bruising her flesh, his teeth ripping into her skin?

But he didn't want her…right? Isn't that what his mind screamed? She was nothing but a burden to his heart. She hurt him, knocked him down and left him bleeding. Why would he want that? All Raven had ever done for him was destroy everything he held dear.

Then why did his heart race every time their eyes met? Why did he feel like whooping with joy when her mouth would curve in a slow, soft smile at something good he did? Why did his body light with fire when her skin brushed against his? Why did he feel so damned content when he brushed his mouth softly over hers and felt her lithe body go limp in his hands?

Why did his heart weep for the pain he was causing her?

Nauseous, Beast Boy lifted a chained hand and rubbed it over the back of his mouth. This wasn't a just punishment. Beast Boy forced himself to look at the screen and watch her eyes as the Beast finished with her.

This was torture.

Beast Boy felt his heart shrivel within him. Her eyes were dull and defeated, as if she knew this was what she deserved. As if this was the only way to fix the wrongs she committed. He had never seen Raven so docile. The woman he had come to love would have fought back with everything she had, or tried to wrestle out the good in him, as she had done before.

But this was something completely new to him. Raven wasn't meant to be subtle. She was supposed to be sarcastic and brave. She wasn't meant to be so submissive. It was…wrong.

But he had told her she deserved it. He had said point blank that she deserved to have her body ripped apart because of stupid words. They were _words_ for God's sake. That's it. Nothing but a few simple sentences that he could get over. She might have even been teasing. Who knew? But she deserved this? Deserved to have him sit back in his mind like a coward and let her be hurt by _him_?

Rage built within him at his own idiocy. She was succumbing to his punishment because he wouldn't save her. He led her to believe that he was enjoying her pain. Why would she _want_ to fight back? She had thought that things were going smoothly. She was letting him kiss her and hold her. She wanted to give her body to him when she was ready. But to have him turn on her like this…

Beast Boy jerked his chained wrist hard. The metal cuff bit into his skin, but it went unnoticed. As he sat there and watched Raven turn to her side in pain, he wrestled to free himself from his own prison.

* * *

She was hurting.

The Beast was slumbering lightly beside her, a light sheen of sweat glistening on his lithe, muscled body. Had circumstances been better, she might have drooled mentally over it, but now, the sight of him sickened her.

Minutes before, she had tried futility to crawl from the bed, but the pain was so bad she couldn't breathe right. Her neck felt like it was on fire, and her thighs were so raw from his bite marks that she couldn't even stand without collapsing.

So she lay there, watching the macabre shadows moving an ageless dance upon her ceiling. Raven wanted nothing more than to crawl away from his once comforting scent and wash away all the pain and filth from her body.

She felt so damned dirty now. It wasn't the blood or the sweat that had her feeling so disgusting. It was the fact that she let him take her body without putting up any sort of fight. She had laid back and let him do whatever he pleased. She had thought that maybe, if she just let him have his way with her, he would get tired of her, and leave her alone.

But it hadn't worked out that way.

Every time she thought he was leaving, he would come back, grin cruelly at her, and take her so hard she bled. And then, when she thought she would rather be dead that have him touch her again, he would touch her sweetly, almost as thought Beast Boy were the one caressing her. When he brought her to her orgasm—which she tired to stop, but there was something that not even she could prevent—the cycle would repeat. Pain, pleasure, pain, pleasure over and over again until her body was so worn she fell into a dreamless slumber. And when she awoke, it started again.

Raven had an unsettling notion that she was probably pregnant by now. How could she not be? Over and over again, he would rape her. No protection, no trying to prevent conception.

Could she handle that? Her child being created from rape and not love? It was how she had grown up. Her mother had tried, but it was so obvious that had Trigon have never gotten a hold of her that Raven wouldn't even exist and her mother would be happy. It had been one of Trigon's favorite ways to bring her down. Her mother would have been able to live a good life had she never of been born. Maybe, if that one time she had not been conceived, her mother would laugh and smile. She would be happy, with a husband who loved her and a daughter who had not been such a screw up.

Her mother had always looked at her differently than most parents. When she watched her grow, she didn't think of how much she looked like her. No. She thought about how that bastard's blood ran through her veins. She didn't worry about grades or puberty. She worried about whether or not her child would grow up to be a cruel and hateful demon.

She worried about her child destroying an entire world.

It wasn't fair. Why did her life turn out like this? What wrongs had she done to merit such horror? She knew she might have turned out differently had her mother wished she had never been born. Maybe if her father hadn't hated her because she wouldn't follow in his evil footsteps. Maybe she would have been able to love right, but because love had never been shown to her, she didn't know how.

She didn't know how to interact with others. She didn't know how to control her emotions, because she never had a need for them. It had been easier to lock everything away so she no longer hurt. She had thought it made her stronger.

But she came to earth, and everything changed. He had come into her life, and for the first time, she felt like she was really something valuable. She felt like she could be a good person, and that she could be someone others could love. Starfire treated her like a sister. Despite her sour moods, she persisted until Raven had no other choice but to go to the 'mall of shopping' or have the 'girl talk of earthly boys'. She cared, even if it was in her nature to do so.

Robin had been a crush, then like a brother to her. He was her steadfast rock that she could lean on when things became hard to handle. He treated her like she was part of his family. He worried, and fretted, and loved her.

Cyborg was one of her best friends. He was her older brother, her father figure, her protector. He understood her. He knew what made her angry, and made sure to never push those buttons. He knew what it felt like to be lonely and during that time he had lost his 'baby' they had become close.

But Beast Boy…from the beginning, things had always been a bit different. At first, she had thought him a mere child, but never saw him as her brother. No…even when she found him annoying and aggravating, she still saw him as something more. Even when she had her mild crush on Robin, she still saw him as more of a brother than anything. Beast Boy never fell into the category. Remembering now, she couldn't think of how she did deem him. A friend, yes, but there had always been something else, something…exciting. She couldn't remember thinking of him as a crush, but when he smiled at her, her heart pounded. When he laughed, the sound caressed her, almost like a lover's touch. When his skin brushed hers, her breath would catch in her throat. There had always been something between them, even if neither had admitted it.

Now, though, Raven had never felt so alone. Beast Boy wanted her to hurt, so what was the point in even trying? During those last few days, she had come to really, actually love him.

She could freely admit it now that everything had come into play. She was madly in love with him, but he hated her. Ironic, how her life worked out. Maybe she just wasn't meant to be happy. Maybe her life was supposed to be spent alone. Maybe…maybe life just really wasn't worth living.

_Great. Suicidal thoughts again…I thought I had gotten rid of these. I haven't been suicidal since I was fourteen and met my team for the first time…this is just freaking great…_

Raven sighed, trying to ignore the pain in her torso. Dammit…she really couldn't just lay here in her own dried blood. The problem was, however, trying to get to the bathroom.

Debating on her next move, Raven decided that the best route was just to get it over with. Frowning, Raven shoved herself up and swung her legs over the side of her bed. Tears spilled from her eyes, but she quickly swiped them away. The Beast would be able to smell them and she didn't have the energy to deal with him.

_Hell, I wonder if I'll even have the strength to walk…_

Bracing herself, Raven stood up. Almost immediately, her legs gave out beneath her. She grabbed her bedpost, resting almost all her weight against it. A quick glance showed her that he was still sleeping soundly.

With a quiet sigh of relief, Raven tugged at the ruined sheet that he had thrown to the ground when she returned from Beast Boy's mind. She wrapped it around herself loosely, for she had no energy to tighten it.

"Come on, Raven. You can do this. It's just a small walk to the shower," she whispered to herself. Almost reluctantly, Raven pushed herself from the bed.

And crashed into the bare chest of the Beast.

Despair crashed around her and Raven almost wept. All she wanted, out of everything in this world, was a God damned shower. That's it. Nothing more. Was fate so cruel that it would not even allow her the joys of being _clean_?

"Running away, are we?" He asked, deep voice sliding across her skin.

"You've made sure that's physically impossible," she snapped weakly, but it had no bite to it. She was so tired. She just wanted to clean up and sleep.

The Beast seemed to find that comment amusing. "You're hurting, I take it?"

There was no pride left within her when she nodded. Had she looked at him, she would have seen the brief flash of sorrow as Beast Boy fought back into his own body.

The Beast twitched. He was well aware that Beast Boy was trying to get back. Maybe he shouldn't have bit her thigh like that to enrage his host…

He ignored it as he crossed his arms over his muscled chest. "What are you going for?"

Raven closed her eyes. "I'm dirty. I smell of blood and sweat and something else that I have no wish to mention aloud. You hate me, I know, but it would be in your benefit if you at least let me wash up. I won't smell when raping me strikes your fancy again."

He mulled over that, weighing the pros and cons. She would suffer more if he refused to allow her a bath, but then he could explore the joys of violating her in the shower…

The answer was easy.

He grabbed her bruised wrist and leaned down, shoving his shoulder into her stomach and lifting her like a bag of potatoes. He grinned at her cry of pain, and made sure to bounce her, just for grins. Oh, the power of hurting her…

The Beast marched cockily down the hallway toward the bathroom; mildly wishing one of Beast Boy's stupid teammates would walk out, and give him the opportunity to humiliate Raven. Defiling her before her teammates sent a thrill of excitement through him. It might even be enjoyable to put the red beauty in her place. Of course, there was only physical attraction there. Beast Boy never saw past her sweet personality, but while he was formed inside the green teen's head, he had plenty of time to study the pretty alien. That, and he knew taking her would send that bastard Robin into a fit. Putting that damn bird in his place held such a high attraction to him.

Picturing the scene he would cause by raping the Tameran and ripping Robin apart had him content and arrogant as he strolled into the bathroom and dropped Raven onto the ground. Her back hit the cold tile but Raven was too exhausted to even flinch. She stared at the ceiling as he ran the water. She was mildly aware that he was filling the porcelain tub with water instead of taking in her request of a shower.

Damn jackass, she thought weakly, head turning slightly as he walked beside her. She blinked when the door slid open and he paused outside.

"Gotta find you something to wear so I can rip it off again, sweetheart."

A comeback was on the tip of her tongue, but she decided against it. The more she defied him, the more he would hurt her. Why put more punishment on herself when just the thought of Beast Boy hating her ripped away her entire being?

Weakly, Raven turned onto her side, hands clutching the side of the tub. She pulled herself up, though her ribs screamed in protest and the claw marks ripped open again. Raven didn't know how she hadn't collapsed from blood loss, but didn't dwell on it. She was so close to actually sinking her body into hot water that not even the thought of the Beast coming in again concerned her.

The Beast returned just as she managed to pull herself up again. But her legs collapsed again beneath her and her knees hit the ground almost hard enough to crack the bone. It was then that Raven just gave up.

There was no reason to keep trying. Every attempt at independence from him had failed miserably. Why put herself through that? What would she even get out of it? It would prove her a coward, shying away from her just punishment. Beast Boy would hate her more than he already did, and it just wasn't worth it anymore.

So she sat here, legs curled beneath her, and waited. She made no more moves to act for herself, which had the Beast highly surprised. Despite his loathing toward the half-demon, he couldn't help but fine her absolutely stunning. Those violet eyes were dull and lifeless as they watched him, waiting patiently for his first move. His gaze roamed over her petite body and he realized with a surge of pride that most men could only dream of taking it to their bed. She was small, but curvy, and her body was sculpted with muscles.

And her skin was riddled with his mark.

Smirking, the Beast figured that he had finally broken the strong Goth.

_Here that, Weakling? She's done for. She has succumbed to her fate. Feels good, no? That bitch is finally getting what she deserves. Probably wishing she was dead by now, judging from the look in her eyes. But who can blame her? You gave me complete reign over your body and actions, knowing full and well that I hate her. Heh, mind if I kill her now? She wants it badly. Just look at her. No one would want her now that she's been scarred so badly. Those won't heal, you know. I don't mean the physical scars, either. But it was a smart move you made, letting me put her in her place. She was too damn cocky, if you ask me. Now, she'll never hurt either of us again. _

The Titan inside his head was silent. Smiling, the Beast crouched down next to the broken girl, gently running his clawed finger against her bloodied jaw.

She merely watched him, those dull eyes weak and submissive. "I expected you to given in sooner than you did. I'm impressed. Guess you weren't the coward I always thought you to be."

He reached behind her to flick off the water, dabbing a finger into the pool to test the water. Steam billowed from the top of it as he gathered Raven into his arms roughly. He never noticed how small she was in his arms before.

The Beast put her into the water, eyebrow raised slightly as she slid back, water rising to her jaw. She made no move to pull herself up. Wondering if she really did wish to kill herself, he crouched down beside the tub, reached over to grab the soap, and ordered, "Sit up."

She did as she was commanded, which had him blinking. He studied her profile for a few moments, slightly freaked out when she slid those empty eyes to him without even moving her head.

Ignoring it, he ran the bar down her bruised back, idly counting the scars marring her flesh as he washed the blood from her soft skin. The water was already blushed with blood.

He moved the soap around her shoulders, pride lighting his eyes at the wicked looking bite at the crook of her neck. It looked painful, and when he passed the bar over it, she stiffened.

He took his sweet time as he washed her torso and legs, eyes briefly watching hers when he cleansed a wound left by his teeth and claws. Each time, he found her staring at him. It was rather unsettling, but he reminded himself continuously that _he_ controlled _her_, not the other way around.

He couldn't help but grin in triumph when he passed the soap between her legs and her eyes slid closed in agony. _Oh, Logan, you have no idea how much her pain pleases me. _

He was surprised when he received an answering comment from the normally quiet changeling_. I know, you sick bastard. I can feel your pleasure. You disgust me. Raven did nothing to us. _

The Beast snorted, which had her eyes opening again to watch his expression. _You're an idiot. Of course she did. She destroyed our confidence, insulted everything we did, ripped Terra away from us—_

_Whoa, whoa, whoa. Ripped Terra away from us? How the hell did she do that? Last time I checked, Terra was off kissing the ground Slade walked on. She used us—no, used _me_—to get to my teammates. Raven did nothing to make her fall for Slade. She had nothing to do with it, _period_. How you came up with that is beyond me. _

The Beast sighed in aggravation as he scrubbed cruelly at the blood caked beneath her ribs. Raven flinched, but otherwise stayed motionless. _You idiot. The only reason I was created was because every horrible thought you refused to admit pilled up, and had nowhere to go but me. You've always thought Raven was the reason Terra betrayed us. You always thought that had it not been for her, Terra would be right here with us, smiling and laughing, not wasting away in stone. _

Beast Boy had no comeback for that, and resigned himself back into his mind. Now, the Beast was left alone and was able to do whatever the hell he pleased. Raven was watching him, eyebrows slightly knitted. He snarled at her. She turned away, but now the Beast had an unsettling feeling that she knew her Beast Boy was stirring in his head. It might give her enough incentive to fight back, and he refused to let that happen.

So he grabbed her upper arms and forcefully pulled her to him. She smelled of rolling hills and pure woman, but the scent of blood still lingered in her hair. Scowling, he jerked her to the side to flick on the water, shoving her under it as he reached down to drain the pink water from the tub.

She merely looked at him, her hair plastered around her head. Desire coursed through his veins at the delectable sight of her and he wasted no time in shoving her against the tiled wall and jerking one of her slim legs around his hip.

"He's watching, you know."

She flinched slightly, but her shoulder's stiffened as her chin jutted upwards slightly. He nipped at her jaw again, tongue sliding over the bead of blood that threatened to glide down her neck.

"He still refuses to help you."

"Just get it over with," she snapped, and he couldn't stop the slow smile the crept over his mouth at her bitter retort. Seemed like she wasn't as broken as he thought she was. His amusement intensified when the brat inside him lashed out as well.

"Get over with raping you? Sweetheart, it will never stop. Not so long as he gives me permission."

He knew that was bound to hurt her, and found his hypothesis true when her body slumped against his. Her voice was soft as she asked, "Permission?"

He moved his mouth over her bruised cheekbone. "Of course. This _is_ his body after all. I can't do anything without his say so."

Which was a total lie, but it was needed to completely break the small girl in his arms. The Beast could practically smell the anguish radiating off her skin.

"Does…he really hate me?"

_No! Don't you _dare_ answer that question you filthy bastard! _The Beast grinned against her skin as Beast Boy fought for control. It would never work. He had waited too long, and now, it would take a miracle for the weakling to ever gain power of his own body.

"Who wouldn't?"

Her shoulder's trembled as she fought back tears, and it took all of his power to not skip with glee. "You're nothing but a filthy demon. You don't belong here, or anywhere. He was so naïve to ever think himself in love with you. One little girl comes sniffing at his feet and he drops you like you're trash. How can you possibly think he would want to stop me? You, your love, your body, are absolutely worthless to him."

Raven seemed to shrink away from him. "You know I don't lie. You know it's too close to the truth to be a lie. Besides," he added with a chuckle, "I've lived within his mind since he met you."

The Beast merely stepped back and smiled as Raven wept.

* * *

Robin leaned back against his headboard as Starfire paced in front of him, hands clasped behind her back and eyebrows knitted.

"We should check—"

"Starfire," Robin sighed. "We've been through this."

Robin fought back the urge to reach out and tug her to him when her bottom slid out in an adorable pout. "Robin," she groaned, raking all then fingers through her already disheveled hair. "This is not merely something we can just stand back and watch, hoping for the best." Her hands fluttered helplessly when he shook his head. "May I just press my ear to the door and—"

"No."

He bit back a grin when she kicked his bed in aggravation, then eeped in horror when she realized what she had done. She glanced at him with wide eyes to make sure he wasn't angry with her, and finding him looking more amused that annoyed, groaned once again.

"I'm worried."

"So am I."

Her fingers crawled in the air in irritation, almost like she was playing the piano. Robin fought back a laugh, instead clearing his throat and linking his fingers across his stomach. "We have to respect Raven's request. Had roles been reversed, wouldn't you have wished for the same?"

Starfire gnawed at her bottom lip as she pondered his question. "But," she stared slowly, hands fluttering to her mouth. "Would you ever become…the Beast?"

Robin frowned slightly as his eyes caressed her face. He thought a moment about how to answer, before he decided to go with, "Everyone has a beast inside him or her, Star. Beast Boy…was just pushed a little too far."

She wrinkled her nose, eyeing his bed in desire. For the past two hours, since midnight, she had been pacing his room with long, steady strokes, wondering helplessly about Raven. It was no wonder she was looking at his bed like it was sent down from heaven. But, being the sweet girl she was, refused to plop down uninvited.

Robin patted his bed, scooting over when she launched herself at it, laughing slightly when it bounced. She blinked for a few seconds before sliding up beside him, mimicking his posture. Her fingers tapped against the smooth skin above the band of her skirt as she took in the knickknacks in his room. He had finally forced himself to take down the Slade collage after Starfire had pointed out that it seemed Slade held control over him so long as it stayed up. It had taken awhile, but when her words sunk in, he ripped it to pieces, took the scraps, and dumped them on her bed. He could still remember her tear-filled smile as his team burned the remains at Jump City Dump.

"May I—?"

"No."

Starfire slid him an annoyed glare, which he returned with a raised eyebrow. "May I finish my sentence?"

"If it has something to do with Raven, Beast Boy, or either of them, you can't do anything—"

"Where you going to kiss me?"

Robin somehow managed to choke on his sentence as he jerked upwards, coughing heavily as Starfire hit his back nonchalantly. He realized she was almost patting his back in comfort and turned his head slightly to glare at her.

She merely shrugged. When he sat back again, almost hesitantly, her hand never moved from the spot on his back. He stiffened in shock when she boldly ran her finger down his spine before his entire body seemed to melt in unparalleled pleasure. It was a wonder he didn't slip lifelessly onto the floor.

Starfire's face was absolutely calm as she repeated her question. "Where you?"

He tried to answer her, truly, he did, but all that came out was a gurgled moan as her fingers danced upwards and she scooted behind him to massage his shoulders. Her mouth twitched in amusement when he squirmed.

"Uh…um, ah ha, Starfire, uh—"

But she cut his entire sentence of when she boldly—it was just to get a rise out of him, of course—kissed him behind his left ear. She couldn't smother her laughter when he yelped and leapt up, face matching the hue of her hair.

Sitting up on her knees with her legs tucked under her, Starfire bit the tip of her thumb, watching him as he paced and tried to cool down his desire.

"Don't…don't _do_ that."

Starfire snorted in laughter when his voice cracked. Had he said something like that years earlier, Starfire would have been seriously put off, but now, she found it adorable.

"As you wish," she said softly, still battling with the amusement. She twisted her hair around her finger innocently. "I will never kiss you again, no matter what you say."

"What?" He squeaked, before clearing his throat and adding in a deeper voice, hands on hips, "I never said that."

She tilted her head to the side, blinking slowly. "But you said to never do that again."

He frowned, opening his mouth before shutting it again. "I meant…not to scare me like that again."

"So…you wish for me to kiss you?" She asked, strangely pleased with the way he seemed to flush and stutter, hand raising and falling as he tried to find a simple way to answer her without jeopardizing their bond.

"Um, well, you see, the thing is—"

"Because if you wish for there to be something more than friendship between use, then I would be more than willing, but if not, I will accept the date from—"

"Who the hell asked you out?" Robin bellowed, briefly forgetting her comment about her wanting them to be together. "I beat his mother fu—"

Starfire sent him a withering glare, and he hastily added, "I mean, I'll beat his butt…"

Nodding her approval, Starfire said, "I was going to tell you, but you interrupted. Besides," she added blatantly, picking casually at her cuticle, "would it matter whom I wished to date if we are not together?"

Robin didn't like the way she had back him into a wall, so he glowered, and proceeded to pout. "Well…if it disrupts the team—"

"Which it will not," she said, and watched the tick throb on his forehead.

He grabbled for a reason. "Uh, Cyborg—"

"Merely wishes for me to be happy no matter who it happens to be with."

Robin scowled. "Well, I know for a fact Raven—"

"Would be pleased to have me out of her hair," she commented, plucking at the loose hem of her skirt.

"…Beast Boy—"

"Has never been interested in what I do in my spare time. Robin," she said with a sigh, "there is no reason for me not to be with others. I am now at an age where mingling with the opposite sex and dabbling in the physical aspects of relationships—"

"Now hold on just on damn minute," he snapped. "First off, never, ever use sex, physical aspects, and relationships in the same sentence again. And second, there is a damn good reason why you should never date anyone."

Now, Starfire was curious. "Really? What might that reason be, because truthfully, I can think of none?"

Starfire gasped slightly when Robin strode toward her in two steps, taking a fistful of hair in his hands and tilting her head back.

He grinned. "Because your mine."

Before Starfire could even gasp, Robin kissed her.

And this time, there was no Raven or Beast Boy to interrupt them.

* * *

Not the most productive chapter, I know, but it's a base for all the action to come. I do hope that this story is not dragging, because, personally, all I've written is needed. You don't want me to rush it, right?

And the Robin/Starfire interaction was just to add a bit of happiness in a dark fiction. Seriously, the world is hard enough as it is without writing constantly about the evil off it all. So, to do away with some of the dark tension, I added good old Starfire and Robin flirting.


	14. Chapter Fourteen: Weakness and Strength

Two chapters left, just to let you know. And just for grins, I am in love with M. Shadow from Avenged Sevenfold. And just their band period. Favorite band of all time, save for Evanescence. They rock. Seriously. This whole chapter was written while I listened to them and wished for M. Shadows to be mine. Now if you'll excuse me, I must bask in the awesomeness that is Avenged Sevenfold.

* * *

With one last glance at her slumbering Robin, Starfire crept from his room, tiptoeing silently into the hallway. She cringed slightly when the door _whooshed_ closed, hands clutching the hem of his T-shirt in nervousness. She knew Robin was exhausted after their…_exiting_ night and to wake him would mean one grouchy leader.

It was amazing how much Robin could extract such pleasure in her. They had gone off and on all night, and it had been just minutes ago that Robin finally had enough, and ended up sleeping. She was ready for more of the brand new experience, but she knew a human could only handle so much physical activities in a nights span, as he had told her when he collapsed face first into the pillow and said he couldn't feel his body.

But now she was starving. It was a wonder her rumbling stomach had not woken Robin. But then again, even her persistent poking had only earned a groan. He had flopped over after that, sprawling out across the bed and slinging an arm across her waist.

Starfire giggled at the memory as the main doors swished open. She very nearly bounced the refrigerator in her good mood. She was sore, but Robin had assured her that it would be the first time. She hummed a merry Tameranian folk song as she reached for the mustard.

"I see the bastard has already sullied you."

Starfire screeched in fright at the deep voice, body unconsciously jumping back into a defensive pose, hands and eyes glowing.

The Beast leaned casually against the counter, arms folded over his bare chest. Her heart pounded frantically in her ears as he smirked, eyes traveling down her body and lingering on the hem of her shirt, which barely skimmed the top of her thighs.

"I suppose it's best. I think I've had my fill of virgins."

Starfire frowned deeply, at first unsure of his comment. Her mind didn't take into consideration that Raven would be physically innocent.

He studied her expression before laughing cruelly. "You such a idiot."

Starfire's eye narrowed dangerously. "Where is Raven?"

He moved behind her, lazily tugging at a long strand of her hair. "Beaten and broken inside her room, chained to the headboard. Can't take the chance of her growing a backbone and popping up uninvited, now can we?"

Her mind was racing. He had hurt Raven? Where was the real Beast Boy? Why was he not here, trying to rein in the evil that was hurting her? And why was she not fighting back?

"It's quite amusing to see the wheels churning in you head, but I much prefer you as the ditzy, naïve fool who truly thinks her lover cares about her."

She wouldn't take the bait he was lying out for her. She was better than that. So she steered the conversation away from Robin and back towards Raven. "Why are you doing this?"

The Beast growled and snapped her head back by the hair. Tears stung her eyes at the pain, but she wouldn't give him the pleasure of seeing her flinch. "Because you all piss me off."

She growled when his mouth traced the underside of her jaw. Never would she have thought Beast Boy would be capable of such behavior. He had always seemed so sweet and caring. Never had he raised his voice, or gotten angry and lashed out at someone. This couldn't be Beast Boy. No, this was so manifestation of the pain within him, something that was part of him but could be controlled. There was no way this was the new, permanent Beast Boy.

"Already got you marked as his and everything," he said smoothly as he traced the red mark on the curve of her neck with his mouth.

"Don't touch me," she snapped, but refrained from hitting him, for her mind still saw him as her teammate.

"Awh, but what fun would that be?" She jerked away from him when his teeth skimmed the mark left by Robin, reaching back to elbow him with enough force to make him stumble back.

She moved back when he growled and stalked toward her, eyes nearly black with rage. "Stupid move, sweetheart."

Her eyes widened when he lunged for her. She ducked quickly, but his claws nicked her shoulder, and in second, the entire left sleeve was covered in blood. She nearly stumbled as she dodged another swipe, drawing her shoulder back against another onslaught and quickly gauging the height of the ceiling in her mind. She couldn't fly fast enough to get away from him. He was quicker in his movements and she knew he'd grab her ankle when she was high enough, and she would never get out of his grasp.

She yelped when her back slammed into the counter hard enough to bruise. He gave a lethal smile as he started to corner her. Slightly panicking, Starfire drew back and slammed her fist into his stomach. She used little strength and instantly regretted it. He merely grunted, reaching down to take her fist and slamming it above her head. Forcing herself not to let the fright take hold of her, Starfire took the offense and butted her forehead against his before ramming her knee into his crotch. He stumbled back with a vile curse and Starfire took the opportunity to run.

He snarled, but couldn't move thanks to the pain in his lower regions. It didn't take him long, however, and before she reached to sliding door, he grabbed the back of her shirt and jerked her back and to the side. Her head hit the side of the table and for a moment, she laid there in shock as pain pounded through her temple. Dots danced before her eyes in a sickening tempo as blood dripped down onto the floor.

When reality made an unwanted appearance, Starfire groaned and shifted into her side, one arm pillowed beneath her as she used the other to push herself from the floor. She saw his foot seconds before he slammed it into her stomach, cracking a few ribs and sending her back onto her previous position.

She coughed, cringing as agony raced down her torso and back again. The Beast smiled cruelly as he reached down, grabbing her collar and jerking her to her feet so she was eye to eye with him.

Before she could even react, the Beast slammed his mouth against hers, fangs immediately sinking into her full bottom lip.

She never noticed Robin standing stock-still in the doorway.

Starfire whimpered in pain, but knew she could not give up, not so long as she was still standing. And so, when he shoved his tongue roughly into her mouth, she bit it hard, slamming her palm into his chin and sending him reeling backwards.

She cried out in pain as her ribs screamed in agony, but never had time to truly think about it, for he was charging again, claws extended and mouth bleeding.

"Starfire!"

She whirled around to see Robin standing there, eyes wide. But with her concentration broken, the Beast was able to sink his claws into her shoulder. He sliced her from the tip of her collarbone to the bottom of her ribs.

She heard Robin's curse, but she was concentrating too hard on staying up. Anger bubbled inside her, and now, she didn't hold back as she grabbed the fist headed toward her and used it to propel him over her shoulder, his hip hitting the ground in a sickening crack. The movement had ripped her already bleeding wound and she crashed to her knees. Both were now collapsed in pain.

The Beast was struggling to control the pain racing down his body as he stumbled to his feet. Thankfully, he was too livid to allow the agony to bring him down. He snarled when the doors swished open and Cyborg stumbled in, scrubbing at his human eye.

"What's all the commotion?" He slurred sleepily. But the second his eyes landed on the Beast, all fatigue drained from him, only to be replaced by worry at the bleeding Starfire.

Robin was beside her, poised on the balls of his feet, reading to launch when the time called but still able to support Starfire.

"Beast Boy," Cyborg started slowly, eyes roving from his twisted friend to his wounded teammate.

"Beast Boy's dead, you stupid piece of scrap metal," he growled, bleeding lips pealing back in a snarl.

Cyborg's human eye narrowed at the insult, but other than that, he brushed it off. "So what are you, his other personality?" He asked calmly, mechanical eye scanning his frame. This Beast Boy was a taller, more muscular version, his eyes darker, almost a solid black. His hair was past his shoulders, the tips hitting just above his shoulder blades. The canines in his mouth were long, sharper, and there was no longer just the trademark tooth that made him so famous. Now, the top row was a good inch and a half long, almost giving him the appearance of a vampire. His skin was a darker, tainted green, and the scars painted along his flesh were bright against his body. Cyborg had never really known Beast Boy harbored so many scars. Physically and emotionally, he mused as he took in the blood-coated claws that were nearly twice as long as usual.

The Beast's body crouched down in a position that was all animal, shoulders curved in and weight balancing on the balls of his feet. He would lunge at any moment, Cyborg knew, and his eyes were on Starfire. She was one her feet, eyes glowing as she pressed her hand against the deepest part of her wound. They seemed to be staring each other down; his eyes heavy with desire—for bloodlust of something other, Cyborg didn't know—and hers weary, waiting for his next move.

Robin was fidgety, and it was then that he noticed Starfire wearing Robin's shirt and him only in his—Homer Simpson?—boxers. Obviously, the couple had gotten a bit cozy, but now was neither the place nor the times to worry about that.

"Calm down, dude," Cyborg advised evenly when his body jerked, feinting a pounce. Robin, with speed most humans could never dream of, slid his body in front of Starfire. This seemed to amuse the Beast, for his snarl turned into a cocky grin.

"Nice time to actually think about others, Robin."

Cyborg shuddered at his voice. Now, there was no cracking, or high pitch tone when he talked. His voice was deep, almost a bass, and filled with venom.

"I don't know what your problem is Beast Boy, but next time you take a swipe at Starfire, or any of us, I won't hesitate in bringing you down."

The Beast chuckled, and Starfire couldn't stop the tremble at how seductive it sounded. Robin noticed and scowled.

"This coming from Slade's little bitch."

Cyborg felt his human eye widen to the point where it actually hurt. Slade's…oh now that was low.

Robin didn't seem to find that very amusing. A tick was forming against his left temple, and it seemed more were forming rapidly.

"Come again?" Robin ground out. Starfire was lost as to what Beast Boy meant, but knew from Robin's tense body that it was not good.

"Come now, Robin. We all know Slade was more than just a captor. Tell me, what did you two do while your little lover wept for you? You were too obsessed for it to merely be an enemy. Your were his little whore, weren't you?"

Robin's jaw was tense in suppressed anger. "Back off, Beast Boy."

"But wait, lest we forget about Batman. You were his bitch way before Slade ever came into the picture. So I guess we all know how bored billionaires amuse themselves; young boys thriving for attention."

"Man, you're going too far," Cyborg said, holding up his hands as sort of a warning.

"You've no room to talk, there, _buddy_," the Beast replied, teeth flashing in a horrible grin. "You'd jump at the chance for sex, but oh, wait, you can't have it, not with that body. Ooh, I hit a sore spot, didn't I? How does it feel to be celibate for the rest of you life? And not even want it? You'll never get to feel a woman writhing beneath you. You'll never feel the heat of a woman's touch, or know how it feels to reach the mind-blowing orgas—"

"Shut up, Beast Boy," Robin growled. Cyborg's face was slate clean, but his eyes were filled with pain, anger, and a hate so strong Robin wondered if things would ever be the same for him.

"Hurts don't it? How does it feel to have a taste of your own medicine?"

Starfire cringed as pain racked her body. "What do you mean?"

"Awh, sweet Starfire doesn't understand," he cooed, eyes racking down her body in pure lust. Robin growled and Cyborg cocked his arm, ready to fire when necessary.

"Don't even think about targeting her, bastard. She's done nothing to you, never has and never will."

"Starfire never does any wrong, does she? Always prim and proper, always loving and kind."

Starfire knew there was an insult somewhere hidden in his comment, but didn't want to dwell on it. Nothing he said would hurt her.

"You're so damn innocent it's sickening. Every damn thing we do you have to ask what it does, how it works. God, to you know how fucking annoying you are? You drink mustard, for crying out loud. Robin only puts up with you because you an easy target to fuck without you ever thinking about commitment. He could tell you that sex is the ultimate relationship that it's all you need to be with him. And you know what? You'd believe him. You go along, happy as can be because you think he cares. Then, you end up knocked up and suddenly; he wants nothing to do with you. What are you going to do then, huh? You don't know how to survive in this world without him to guide you."

"Stop," she said softly, reigning in the angry tears. "That is untrue."

"You don't even talk like a human. To hell with that, you don't _look_ human. No normal earth dweller has orange skin and inch long eyebrows. You can't survive here without someone to walk you through it. Admit it, your _nothing_ here. You'll never fit in with others, and when Robin drops you, you won't know how to even breathe."

"Shut up, Beast Boy."

But it was too late.

Starfire was already submersed in the truth and the tears came in an angry torrent. Her body trembled so hard Robin feared her bones would break, but when he reached out to comfort her, she jerked away from him.

It was the first time she was the one to reject the other.

"Starfire," Robin said softly, his voice hurt.

"Just…please. Don't touch me." As she slid spiritless to the floor, arms wrapped around her waist and her body bent forward as she broke, Robin lunged.

The Beast didn't expect it. The force of Robin's body sent them tumbling to the floor in a mass of tangled limb. Robin's first punch connected with his cheek, and the Beast felt the bone crack at the impact.

Robin pulled back to launch another when the Beast retaliated, shoving his claws deeply into his side and pulling down so the skin ripped further. Robin howled in pain, giving the Beast ample time to slam his palm into his chin. Robin's head snapped backwards and knocked him flat on his back.

"This would have never happened if you hadn't treated me as if I was_ nothing_!" The Beast screamed as his calm demeanor shattered. And for the first time, Beast Boy flicked in those haunted eyes. "All I ever wanted was for people to like me! All I wanted was someone to miss me when I was gone, but all you saw me as was a damn rug to trample on! I just wanted friends. That was all I asked, but no, you had to make fun of my skin, or my jokes, or what I ate. My ideas were stupid, even if I was just trying to make others feel better. I never did anything right in your eyes. Never."

Robin was shocked into silence as the Beast howled in agony and grabbed his head, screaming over and over, "No! No! No! You can't come back! No! Stop! I won't let them hurt us anymore!"

And he sprang in an insane rage, claws aim at Robin's neck. For the first time in his life, Robin was unprepared for the attack. He had no time to even react. He knew there was no way to even dodge to the side. It would still nick his jugular, and that was all it would take. So Robin prepared himself from the pain of claws ripping into his flesh.

But no memories flashed before his eyes as people claimed. All he could feel was a numbing knowledge that he was going to die. He wasn't scared. He wasn't thinking about all the wrongs of his past.

But he did see her face.

He did hear her voice laughing.

He did realize that he loved her.

And he realized that the pain never came.

Robin opened his eyes, only to feel his heart sink into his stomach. Starfire was in front of him, arms outstretched as she protected his body from the impact. Blood dripped onto the floor, and for a brief moment, Robin felt his entire world shatter. But in front of her was Cyborg, shielding them both from harm. There was a three long, deep gash in his metal, and Robin realized that both of his teammates had risked their lives to protect him. Starfire had been willing to take that death swipe to save him, and Cyborg had taken that for both of their safety.

But another thing hit him, one almost as horrifying as the thought of losing either one of them.

Beast Boy would have killed him.

It seemed that Beast Boy knew it too, for as he retracted his claws from Cyborg's chest, they all got one, long look at their real teammate. For just a few seconds, the red eyes bled away to be replaced with green.

And those eyes were pissed.

As quickly as he appeared, the Beast took control. But he was scared now. Beast Boy was becoming stronger and he was losing his foothold quickly. Almost killing his friends had been the final straw from him. It seemed the Beast had underestimated his other self. His heart was too big, his soul too strong to be kept at bay.

But he knew, before he was sent back to that hellhole in which he was born, that he had one more task at hand.

Raven had to die.

* * *


	15. Chapter Fifteen: Revelation

**_Warnings_**: A little dose of Robin/Starfire lemon and the Beast's foul mouth: Yeah, a _lot_ of cursing going on.

XxX

She knew he was coming.

Her heart pounded, her breath caught in her throat, and cold sweat beaded against her skin. Raven tugged futility on the cuffs that had once been used to chain him up, dreading what was to come.

A helpless whimper escaped from her throat. She hated herself for it, and tried to tug harder on the metal to free her wrists. This wasn't _right_. She had paid for her sins the second Beast Boy left her. Everything else he had done had been nothing but spiteful cruelty so he could get off on her pain. Why she should merely sit back and let him hurt her?

Her demon writhed inside her head in utter revulsion at her weakness. It screamed to be let out, to show that no good bastard what really lurked within her, and at the moment, Raven was about ready to give it full rein.

The door slid open to reveal him. She let her arms hang lose and jerked up her chin, preparing herself for the fight about to come. Raven was _not_ about to let this jackass hurt her anymore.

But she blinked rapidly when he stumbled in, head held tightly in his hands. His mouth was bleeding, as were his claws, the muscles sculpting his body rigid with…pain? Or was it something different? Maybe Beast Boy was…?

Her throat clogged in sorrow. No…he wouldn't fight back now. He was a damn coward and letting her drown in her own blood was what he wanted. Well fine. If that was how he was going to be, then so be it.

She was damn tired of being his punching bag.

Her long forgotten scowl slipped across her lips as she watched him. The demon she had tried to hard to lock within her reared, thrashing wildly to get out. And what better time to do so with him preoccupied with his own troubles?

Keeping a weary eye on him as he stumbled around, Raven twisted her wrists, one eye closed in pain as it ripped through her skin. Just as the metal became slick enough to pull her hand through, he whirled, eyes blazing.

"He's fighting."

Raven's entire body froze in shock as her demon settled down in confusion.

"What?"

He slammed his fist down on her dresser, a long, thin crack splintering the mahogany wood. "He's furious now. He doesn't want you hurt anymore," he cackled insanely, eyes wild. "He's going to win, oh, he's going to win control over me. He'll kill me. But it'll take time, maybe an hour or two for him to gain complete control of his body. But I'll be too late then. You'll be dead. He won't be able to handle the pain of losing the _only woman he's ever loved_."

Raven's eye widened enormously as he strode over to her. "Wait," she said quickly, heart pounding erratically against her ribs. "You told me he hated me."

"Ha!" He yelled, causing her to jump. "That was only said to break you, to make you think it was all over, that he didn't care. It worked, but it pissed him off to the point where he's fighting against his own chains—"

"He was chained?" Raven wracked her own mind, back to the memory of being inside his head. She quickly shoved down the quote that killed her heart and tried to think back to the details. Cobwebs, a rusted theater, flashing screens of memories…yes, yes! She remembered. He _had_ been chained down to that chair. But…he hadn't been fighting back, even then, so why was she getting so worked up?

And then it hit her. "Dead?"

He laughed horribly, taking her wrist in both of his hands and jerking them down. Raven cried out in pain as the metal skinned her already bleeding wrists and as he headed for her feet, she reached out and grabbed a hold of his hair. "No."

He growled and grabbed her wrist, hands tightening against the wound. She bit back a flinch and met his snarl head on. "What's with the sudden backbone, sweetheart?"

Raven smiled, leaning forward until her mouth was inches from his. It seemed to startle him, but he quickly masked his unease.

"Let's just say I got tired of being used by a sick fuck like you."

He snarled and brought his hand back to hit her. She didn't block it, couldn't, for the blood loss from the wounds on her torso and wrists had her dizzy. His hit made it ten times worse, and Raven managed to give one foul cruse before darkness claimed her.

XxX

The next time she woke up, she way lying on something hard. The air smelled of rocks, dirt, and the metallic tang of blood. Raven blinked slowly as she tried to make her eyes focus. When they did, she noticed the jagged rock protruding from the ceiling. It didn't take her a millisecond to realize where the Beast had taken her.

She groaned softly. Just where she wanted to die. In Terra's "grave".

Raven struggled to sit up, but when she braced her hands against the ground and tried to push herself up, her arms collapsed under her. The back of her head hit the dirt ground hard and those horribly familiar white dots danced in front of her eyes.

It was amazing that the once strong Raven of the Teen Titans had now become so…_human_. It was sad, really, that she had allowed things to come to these proportions. She had succumbed to a man, had let him take what was his—another confusion added to the pile—and then whimpered like a baby when he beat her. The more she thought about it, the more she started to hate herself.

Why had she let him do this? Oh. Right. Beast Boy had said she deserved it for being sarcastic and prodding unintentionally at his fragile self-esteem. And okay, yeah, so he had a right to be upset about her bitchy attitude, and sure, Beast Boy _was_ her main target for mean jokes and sarcastic remarks about something or other, but seriously. Was raping really necessary? Couldn't he have snapped back? Maybe insulted her a little? Prodded at _her_ insecurities? Maybe have SAID SOMETHING? He could have easily of said, "Raven, you're sarcasm really hurts. Please stop. Life's been hard enough without your input," but _no._ He lets the monster in him—which she created, but still—take what was his, and make her hate anything physical.

How was she supposed to be in any relationship if she was now scared to death of sex and all that applied to it? Even kissing had a stone dropping down her throat and into her stomach. So was that what he was aiming for? Making sure she was unhappy the rest of her life? Well, hell, he got his wish. Men scared the hell out of her now. They were capable of causing pain _without_ hands. Shoot, people in general made her a bit weary. So now, because of her phobia of people touching her, she would spend the rest of her life—or what was left of it—alone and hating herself and everyone around her.

Raven scowled at the jagged ceiling and waited for her body to stop throbbing. Already a small pool of blood formed under her wrist and back. She could actually feel the wet soak through her shirt.

Wait…shirt?

Raven lifted her head enough to look down at her body. It wasn't a shirt, but a long, silk nightgown that Starfire had given her just last Christmas. The shoulder straps were thin, the neckline so low that the curve of her breast were clearly visible, and hit around her ankles in a loose, whirling cloud. Now, however, the ivory was painted with her blood, and lost the appeal Starfire swore would have 'the men crawling on their hands and knees' (to which Robin had yelped and demanded to know when she learned that phrase).

Sighing, she carefully turned onto her side, then to her stomach, and pulled her knees to her chest to push herself upward. She gently put her hands down on the ground, nearly gagging when she realized she had fallen into a thick, warm puddle of her own blood—there seemed to be a lot of that, she realized now. She put very little weight on her wrists, taking most of the brunt on her knees, and managed to pull herself completely into a sitting position.

The first thing that greeted her eyes was the Beast staring at the statue that was once Terra. His fingers danced along her stone cheek before dropping limply at his side.

"I just wanted someone to love me," he said softly, and for a moment, she thought her Beast Boy was back. But that hope was diluted greatly when he turned around, red eyes dulled with pain. "That's all. He pretended that it didn't hurt, that being a freak didn't affect him. He believed that if he could hide behind the jokes, the sarcasm, pretended his IQ was less than that of a caterpillar, that maybe they would see beyond the green skin. He would have rather have people be disgusted at him because of his jokes than of his skin."

Fire lit his eyes now, almost making them black as he moved toward her. His muscles were tight in anger as he crouched down to her eye level. She couldn't help but jerk back when his claws traced her bruised jaw.

"He loved you because he could see beneath your armor. He could see the broken little girl who merely wanted to be loved by someone, just like him. He could see the pain and hurt in those dull eyes of yours, and wanted more than anything to bring hope and joy into your life. No one had ever made his heart pound like you did. No one could make him feel like a hero when like you did when you would give him those rare smiles, or have your eyes thank him when he saved you or someone else. And no one could make him hurt so much because you found it in your nature to chip away every good thing he had in his life."

Raven flinched slightly, turning her head away from him and concentrating on keeping her demon from backing down, as she was doing at his cruel—and true—words.

"He went to Terra because she seemed like she actually loved him. She laughed at his jokes, respected his decision to eat tofu, and actually _enjoyed_ his company. But she was phony. She hid behind a mask like a coward, whereas you showed your true form. She was a demon in a pretty body, and messed with his head so he would never get over her betrayal. She destroyed him much more than you did, because she took his heart, and left it torn and bleeding."

"Then why are you hurting me?" Raven asked, turning her violet eyes to him. "Why are you hurting me if she was the one who destroyed him? Why is he letting this happen? There's no need to lie to me now. If you don't kill me yourself, these wounds will."

The Beast smiled softly, his fingers moving down her neck, fluttering over her collarbone before slipping both of the straps off her shoulder. "I had to have someone to take out his pain on."

"Why did he say I deserved this? Why did he sit back and let you hurt me?" Raven felt confusion swamp her heart as her mind raced with possibilities.

"Sweetheart, he didn't say you deserved this." The Beast smiled again, as if consoling a wounded child. "_I did_."

Raven jerked back from his touch as he moved to bring the gown down to her waist. "How?"

"I made him believe it was your fault, that Terra only added to the flames you had caused. I made him believe that you were a true demon, and forced his heart to shatter under the weight of his pain. I could slip into his true self's mind, and make him say what I wanted. Now, this isn't my entire fault, of course. There had to be a smidge of doubt in his heart for me to poke at it and bring it to life. So when he said that, under my influence, he truly believed it. He also believes that you deserved some of the pain you've forced upon him, but he was just planning on telling you how he felt, and leaving you in the dust, but his confidence was destroyed, and he gave me free reign. He had no idea of what I was truly capable of. He just wanted a moment to sit back in his mind and let me take control for a while. He didn't know I would overpower him, or come after you the way I did."

A wilted flower of hope bloomed inside her chest as she searched his monstrous eyes. "But he didn't stop you when you raped me. He could have tried something."

"Ah, but he did. You said you were hurting, and something in him snapped. He was starting to see beyond the veil of hate and sorrow, and realize what was truly happening. The other times, well, he couldn't think of anything to do that would overpower me. He watched you hurt, and was completely frozen in his mind. But again, a small part of him did believe that you deserved this, and it started to take over reality. So, in truth, he is innocent of my crimes."

He grabbed her chin in an iron grip, bringing her closer to his face and smirking down into her narrowed eyes. "But you don't have a chance to sort it out with him, because I plan on killing you the moment your friends show up."

XxX

The cold wind ripped through his leather jacket as his R-cycle took a sharp curve at a good seventy miles per hour. Starfire's arms tightened around his waist as she leaned with him, hair whipping behind her. Cyborg's T-car was no far behind, his headlights bright against the dark night.

They had been to slow in their supposed rescue of Raven, because by the time they had bandaged wounds and settled their racing hearts, the Beast had already taken Raven away. They had burst into her room only to find it empty. The room had smelled of blood, dried and new, as well as something else that had both Cyborg and Robin blanching. Starfire hadn't understood it, but it was better that way. At first, they had panicked. They didn't know where he would take her, how long he would keep her alive, or what he would do. It had been Starfire whom had said that the most likely place he would go would be the cave in which Terra's grave was, and from there, it had been a rush to get everything together.

Robin had discarded his uniform for jeans, a black turtleneck under a black leather jacket, and his usual metal tipped boots. The mask stayed, of course, and under his jacket were bird-a-rangs of all shapes and sizes, his staff, smoke bombs, and just in case it was needed, a tranquillizer gun. His mouth was set in his usual frown, his eyes hard, but beneath his skin, his heart was heavy. If they did get out of this alive, and if Beast Boy wasn't lost in the process, nothing would be the same. He would have to put Beast Boy behind bars—there was no other way around it—and it killed him to think about it. But what really got him was the Beast's outburst. It was their entire fault this was happening to the broken shape-shifter and Robin swore on his parent's lives that he would do everything in his power to bring Beast Boy back to them.

Starfire had hastily thrown on jeans that rode low on her muscled hips, a silk lavender camisole with lace around the bodice, and a thick v-necked sweater that dipped to her navel. She had braided her long hair so it fell in a thick rope to the curve of her back, and had left her normal purple boots on. It felt wrong to wear her normal uniform, for now, they were no longer children. They were adults, and stupid little uniforms seemed immature. Starfire had stood before her mirror and could see the change in herself. It wasn't the clothes, or the different hairstyle, but her eyes. They weren't bright with wonder anymore. Instead, though they still held that innocence that made her who she was, they were darker with knowledge. She had taken a deep breath and let the power take over her, so her eyes and hands glowed green. It killed her inside that she was up against her own brother, that she might have to fight him, and that she might die by his hands. But she was ready and willing, because she wouldn't lose until she had Beast Boy back.

But the one affected most had been Cyborg. Numbly, he had placed a chip in his arm to boost his sonic blast. It hadn't taken long for him to weapon up, but he had moved slowly. He had brought out this beast inside his best friend because he had picked on him. He had never meant for it to hurt him. It had been playful jeers, and it had only been fun when his hackles rose at the mention of meat. He hadn't thought he had really hurt him, but the more he thought about it, the more he realized that with each joke or taunt, Beast Boy's eyes had lost some of its light. He knew it wasn't his entire fault, that they had all had a part in it, but it didn't stop the guilt and pain from clawing at his human heart.

Now, they were a few miles from the cave. With each passing second, the stone in their hearts' weighted more. Their armor around their emotions became stronger, almost to the point where they were dull, and if Robin hadn't said something, they would have been completely hollow.

"I want to thank you for saving me."

His deep voice was clear over the speaker inside her helmet and had her heart pounding inside her chest. Before she had time to say anything, Cyborg chimed softly, "We weren't going to let you die like that."

"You could have been killed."

"Not me. Unless he aimed for skin with those claws or something, but otherwise, I was safe, but Starfire…"

Behind her helmet, Starfire smiled softly. "If it protects you, Robin, I will gladly give up my life."

"Same here, bud, but I have a feeling that Starfire's has to do a whole lot with loving you. Mine's clearly on a friendship level, in case you were wondering."

"That means a lot," Robin said softly, and Starfire knew that if she listened hard enough, his voice would be a bit throaty from suppressed emotion.

"But I would die for any of you. Even Beast Boy," Cyborg added quietly. "And it looks like one of us might."

Reality settled upon them once again and barriers were reconstructed. Thunder rumbled in the south as the shore crashed against jagged rocks. They were close to the cave now, and with each passing rock formation, their backs stiffened and their minds prepared themselves for a bloody battle.

It had been years since they had last been here. Then, they had been bitter with her treachery, furious for letting someone mess with their head, and struggling with the knowledge that someone they trusted and loved as a great friend had betrayed them. Robin had been raging, for he had let a traitor into his home, let her get close to his friends, and nearly lost them in the process. Starfire had battled within herself, because she knew it was in her nature to trust, and because of this, she nearly lost everything. Cyborg had been beyond pissed, but most of the anger was because she had hurt Beast Boy so bad, and it had eaten at him that the shape-shifter had hardened because of it. But Raven had battled with her own feelings. She couldn't figure out why her betrayal messed with her head so badly until Beast Boy had glanced at her with those hurt eyes. Terra had wounded him more than anyone could and for that, Raven had hated her.

And though she had protected the city from the volcano, it still had been hard to accept her again. The plaque had been made, but it was all done for Beast Boy. Now, they were here again.

And the traitor was Beast Boy.

Robin parked the R-cycle near the front entrance, booted-feet braced on the ground as he stared at the towering rock formation. It had been here for centuries, he was sure, but Slade had gotten a hold of it, had changed it to be his own little hideout. Now, metal doors blocked pathways and glass-stained windows sent a wicked red light onto the dirt walls.

Leave it to Slade to destroy nature for his own sick pleasure, Robin thought solemnly as Starfire moved from behind him. Lightly tapping the kickstand with the toe of his boot, Robin moved off his bike and took off the helmet, unconsciously ruffling his hair.

Starfire smoothed down her hair as she sat her helmet down. Tilting her head back to watch the bright flashes of lightning, Starfire said softly, "I would have never thought it would come to this. Comrade against comrade."

Cyborg had already parked his car and had walked up to them, but remained quite at her statement. His human eye was gazing off in the distance, looking into a world that only he could see. Starfire laid a comforting hand on his forearm and smiled when he glanced down at her. "He will not be lost to us."

Cyborg lips curved softly. "I know."

But her smile faltered when he walked away, for she knew there was a chance she had just lied to him.

Robin tossed his helmet to the ground carelessly and moved toward her, stretching out his hand and holding it palm up. Starfire glanced at it, blinking rapidly, before she smiled and laid her hand against his.

Fingers entwined, they moved toward Cyborg, who was waiting patiently. But when Robin and Star moved to walk in, Cyborg held up a hand. "I…think you should have some alone time."

"What?" Robin asked, one eye narrowed as he tried to think of what Cyborg meant before he said something.

"I'm not going to sugarcoat it. This might be the last time we see each other on this earth. We've never been again a teammate, and I know I'll never be able to hurt Beast Boy even to protect myself. Same goes for Starfire. He might kill us, Rob, and I think that you spending a little time together before the battle would do your heart some good. Beside," he added as he turned his head away from them. "I want to be the one he sees first."

"Cyborg," Robin said softly, but Cy held up a large hand and smiled. "Come now. You know you want to get that last kiss in before you turn into a warrior again. 'Sides, seeing as you seem to be a little bit closer than just friends, I'd think you want a little more than that last kiss, if you get what I'm saying."

Robin flushed as Starfire poked her fingers together, humming silently as if she didn't hear him, which made Cyborg chuckle.

But solemnity took over his features once again. "I'm serious, though, Robin. Spend what little time you have with her here. There's no one to see you, and besides…" Cyborg tilted his head to the side. "I want to see Beast Boy. Alone. Just for now."

Robin nodded his head in understanding before sliding his gaze to Starfire. She was watching him too, from the corner of her eye, and though her cheeks were flushed a pretty rose, her lips were curled in a smile.

He returned it before turning to Cyborg. "Thank you, Cyborg. This means a lot. I'll promise to have her back in less than thirty minutes."

Cyborg bowed his head in understanding "Good." He turned to leave, but paused as if something had clicked in his mind. Without looking at them, he said, "Promise me. If I die, don't let it be in vain. Bring him back, even if you have to chain him."

Tears prickled at the back of her eyes as Robin stepped forward, never breaking his hold on her hand. "I promise my life on it, Cyborg."

"As do I."

Cyborg smiled. "Ya'll better keep it, 'cause if you don't, I'm gonna come haunt ya'll asses till you die."

Robin chuckled softly as Cyborg disappeared inside the cave. He waited until not even the small light from his flashlight was visible before turning to Starfire. She blinked, and although they were now lovers—if only for a night—her face flushed in nervous shyness.

"Had things not been as bad as they are, I would have already started stripping you down, but Cy's right. This could be the last time we see each other, and I'll be damned if I let you go thinking that all I want from you is your body."

Gently, Robin traced her bottom lip with his thumb. "I don't know how to be romantic. I don't even know how to go on a proper date that doesn't involve kissing or sex. Before you, that's all I knew. In my free time, when I wasn't Wayne's sidekick, I was gathering as many girls as I possibly could. You see how sick and twisted my way of life was. I was only fourteen, and already I had been with a dozen women. Thinking back on it, I'm disgusted at myself, but that's not the point. The point is, I wasted my life on disposable women and pleasure, so I don't know how to make you happy, at least not when it comes to things that really matter in a relationship."

Robin sighed. "Damn. I can't even get to what I'm trying to say." So he leaned down, brushing a butterfly kiss over her mouth.

"You mean more to me than just sex, Starfire. Much more. Since I've known you, you've added the light in my life that was taken away with my parents. With you, my memories are not haunted. I don't see only my parents falling to their death when I'm with you. I see birthdays and Christmas, Thanksgiving, and family nights. I see the happy times in my life that I wouldn't give up for anything. But without you, when I can't see you or feel you, or even know you're there, all I can see is blood and hate and despair. I can get up in the mornings without planning on taking down villains. I look forward to birthdays and Thanksgiving and Christmas now, because you're a part of it. However corny it might sound, everything I say is true.

"But the Beast said that all I wanted was your body. Now, I will say that I've dreamed of having you since I first saw you, and at first, before I knew the real you, it was all I wanted. But it's not true now. I want so much more than just your body." His thumb skimmed over the single tear that curved down her cheek.

"I want your love, Starfire. I want you to love me like I love you. I want…I want you to be the one who I wake up beside every morning, the one who handles my attitude and stubbornness. I want us to be together, more than friends, more than mere lovers. I want us to be together. I just…want you. All of you."

More tears followed after the first, slipping down her cheeks in a beautiful stream. Her bright eyes lifted to his mask as her long fingers skimmed across his cheekbones, over the cloth that obscured his eyes.

Robin gave a self-conscious laugh. "I know I sound stupid, and if someone heard me, they'd think I was a goofball, but I can't think of any other way to say it. I uh…do love you, though I don't show it. And, um, I find it really difficult to say it, even though I feel it. But…I love you."

Robin blinked rapidly when she gently removed his mask, the cool air hitting the naked skin. He lifted his fist to scrub at his eyes, but she grabbed his wrists and brought them down to her waist. She had not even taken off the mask when he made love to her the first time, and Robin realized it had been her way of saying that she wasn't sure he wanted her body or her love.

He flushed when she traced the almost non-existent marks left by the mask. "I, uh, probably look like a raccoon, huh?"

Though tears still fell freely, Starfire laughed. "No. At least, it's not too bad." She held up two curved fingers so they were only about a centimeter away from each other. "Maybe about this much difference in color."

He smiled softly and let her study his eyes. "You remind me of a wolf," she said after a brief bout of silence.

One dark eyebrow arched into his hairline. "A wolf?"

She nodded, fingers moving over his eyebrows, down his nose, over his mouth, though her eyes still stayed on his. "Those beautiful solid black wolves with the white-blue eyes. It's…beautiful. _You_ are beautiful."

He flushed a bright red. "Uh, people usually don't call men beautiful," he said, clearing his throat before coughing softly.

"Even if they are?"

Robin coughed again. "Yeah…"

"Earth men are strange," Starfire murmured beneath her breath. "Then you are breathtaking." At his slight frown, Starfire's mouth quirked. "Handsome? Good-looking? Attractive? Godly?"

"I can handle that."

Starfire laughed, letting her hands drop down to his shoulders before creeping around his neck and locking her fingers at his nape. She moved closer to him, mere inches away from his mouth. It was easy now, for he was only about an inch or two taller than her five foot eleven frame.

Boldly, she brushed her mouth against his once. Twice. "I never told you that I love you as well." She could feel his heart pound a rapid rhythm against her skin and smiled against his mouth.

"How are your wounds?"

"They hurt. My ribs are screaming, and my head pounds like Cyborg's stereo does when he cranks it up to full volume."

Robin smiled in amusement as his hands moved between them, skimming over her ribs, over her breasts, up her neck before reaching behind her and pulling her flush against him.

"And your wounds?" She asked breathlessly as his mouth skimmed the soft skin of her collarbone, before moving toward the beige bandage that peaked from beneath her sweater.

"Hurts like a bitch, but I can handle it." Her body trembled and her hand tangled in his hair as he moved to her other shoulder and pushed the clothing completely from it, so it was bare against the cold air. "Robin, are you sure no one will see?"

He gently pulled both articles of clothing from her, but made sure not to jar her ribs or wounds. "Robin," she managed to groan. His mouth was locked on the mark he had left earlier, making it more pronounced and sending wave after wave of heart coursing through her. But when the wind picked up and rain started to fall at a steady pace, she finally managed to tell him, "Cold. It's cold. Wet, too."

He chuckled at her broken sentences and pulled back only to lift her in his arms and moved toward the opening of the cave. "I'd take you to Cy's car, but he'd kill me."

Still dazzled by the desire he showed, Starfire shook slightly and said, "My shirts. I'll need—"

"Got 'em. There in my hand."

"Oh." She glanced up to see him grinning down at her and felt her body soften. Now protected against the freezing rain outside, Robin gently placed laid her down on the ground. Starfire yelped at the cold, for it was smooth rock that Slade had laid down, and her back arched slightly. Although her left shoulder and most of her back—just below her ribs—were secured with thick strips of gauze, the skin lift unprotected balked at the cold. But all thought of the cold were forgotten as Robin moved down beside her, gently lying between her legs and bracing his hands beside her head.

He chuckled. "Cold?"

She nodded slightly, eyes watching his every move. Beneath her ribs, her heart pounded rapidly. "I am…nervous."

He smiled, moving one hand to trace the bandaged covering her chest. "I am too."

"This is not our first time."

"No," he agreed quietly and a dark blue settled over his eyes, making them seem black. "But this might be our last time."

Her lowered his mouth to hers, and though he had kissed her many times, it felt like the first again. When his hands traced every curve, it was new again, and when his mouth brought intense pleasure, it was as if he had never done it before.

But when he slid inside of her, it was like they had done this for years, and they moved together as one. He took her with such a patient gentleness that her climax was twice the force it would have been had he of taken her with a roughness as he had done during those long hours of the night and had her writhing and screaming beneath him.

As they drifted down from the peak of pleasure, Robin kissed her again, slowly, languidly, before dropping his head to her shoulder. "I don't want to hurt him."

"Maybe we won't have to."

Robin pulled back from her, eyes studying hers. "He almost killed me. Look at you, Star. Your wounds are still bleeding…wait…did I just—did we just—shit." Robin pulled away from her, glancing around for his clothes and grabbing them up quickly, only to jerk them on.

Starfire sighed and sat up with a cringe. "Robin, it matters not. I breathe and they bleed. Besides, it is dried. See?" To prove her point, she stood up and point to the long, blotted streaks of blood. "You're side is no better," she added, causing him to glance down at the gauze.

"Well, hell, we make quite the couple, don't we? Wounds bleeding after mind-blowing sex. Just my luck," he added dryly, spotting her jeans beside him and tossing them to her, which happened to aggravate the tear. "Ouch," he muttered, childishly prodding at the sore skin around it. "See, we could have gone on for years and I would have never felt a thing until we both ended up bleeding to death."

For some reason unknown to her, Robin's attitude amused her, and as she slid on her clothes, she fought with a grin. Robin continued to grumble, harshly jerking on his clothes with muttered ouches threaded in between each article of clothing. By the time he jerked on his boots, Starfire was chortling.

His eyebrow arched up. "Starfire, has the blood loss messed with your head?"

A new wave a giggles irrupted, and when she couldn't even defend herself with coherent sentences, Robin sighed and stood up, moving toward her and kissing her grinning mouth. "Women confuse me."

If it was possible, her grin widened. "We are supposed to." She reached up slightly to kiss him. When she pulled back, however, all traces of good humor had fled. Her green eyes were filled with an aching sorrow that pulled on his heartstrings.

"I'm scared, Robin."

He pasted on a reassuring smile as he brushed his knuckles against her cheek. "I know. I am, too."

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When she opened them again, however, they were swimming with tears. "What if I lose you?"

"Such little faith in me," he murmured softly, hoping to disperse the heaviness in her heart.

"Robin—"

"You won't lose me, Starfire. You'll never lose me, that I promise."

"But—"

He cut her off with a long, powerful kiss that had her body trembling. "I won't let anything take me away from you. And when we get out of this, with the real Beast Boy back, we'll start our life together as it always should be. Our job won't get in the way, and when it comes time, we'll have our love written down in a marriage certificate. We'll get through this, all of us together. I know in my heart we will."

She nodded, hand unconsciously slipping under his shirt and resting her palm against his heart. "Swear?"

"Scouts honor."

He chuckled at the confusion written on her face. "Yeah, I swear."

She managed a small smile and nod before her eyes drifted to the yawning darkness that would lead to their most horrendous battle. "It is time."

Robin followed her gaze and felt his heart drop into his stomach. "Yeah. It's time."

XxX

He didn't know how he would handle it.

Cyborg stood on the uneven ground; eyes locked with his best friend, and felt the first sign of despair well inside his heart.

The Beast grinned horribly. "Cyborg. Seems fitting that you'd be the first one to see me kill Raven."

The human within him wished to weep at what his friend had become, but the machine inside him kept him cool and composed as he took in the wounded girl. She looked half-dead already, skin ashen and eyes glassy with pain. It ripped at his soul to see them like this.

It wasn't right, that Beast Boy could be pushed to this level. No one had ever thought him capable of this. But then again, no one had thought him capable of much at all. He had, in their eyes, been nothing more than a sidekick. They hadn't thought he could handle a foe on his own without someone wearing them out before hand. They never thought he could have anything good to suggest when they were formulating a plan. They had never thought he would be anything more than a childish green shape shifter.

Cyborg suddenly felt like the sick bully in a high school courtyard, picking and beating at those he thought below him. Disgust clouded his heart, his mind at his actions.

"Beast Boy."

The Beast growled, eyes flashing. "Don't call me that. I'm not that coward of a bastard who let everyone walk all over him. _Never_ call me by that degrading name."

"He was never a coward." Cyborg couldn't believe the dull coating in his voice. Oh God, he was becoming a _machine_. Blocking his human emotions was strengthening the robot in him.

"Oh, he was. He never fought back when you hurt him, never showed how much your damn tofu jokes messed with his head. How fucking hard is it to let him eat what he prefers? Goading him with meat was like asking him to kill what he is. He connected with those cows and pigs you eat. He's been them, known how they think, seen what they see. But you could have cared less, huh? It riled him up, raised his hackles, and you loved to see him mad, or hurt. That's just the sick fuck you are."

"It was amusing, yes, but I didn't think that it would hurt him."

"You didn't think grass-stain hurt him? Furball? Mutant Midget? You seriously didn't think those constant barbs at his IQ hurt him? Is your brain and heart mechanical as well? You insulted every little thing about him. You knew it hurt him, but you did it anyway. Tell me, did it make you feel better to bring someone else down? You wouldn't have to worry about what a freak you are, because, hey, he's green! He eats tofu! He doesn't understand fucking mechanics or the perfect strategy to a mission! Oh, wait, there's more! He's so desperate that he's willing to make fun of himself just to get people to notice so maybe they'll see more than just his skin! Yeah, he's perfect! No one will notice I'm a fucking cyborg because I'll make sure everyone sees what a freak Beast Boy is!"

"Stop it." Raven fought to get up, to try and stop this constant barrage at Cyborg, but he held up a mechanical hand.

"No. He's right."

Raven felt her eyebrows draw together as her arm snaked around her ribs in hopes to stop the bleeding. "Cyborg—"

"I would never admit it before, but he's right."

The Beast seemed to draw back a little, his eyes wounded. "I always thought…I mean, it had occurred to me that…_I trusted you_."

Suddenly, his voice wasn't so deep. His eyes weren't red. His claws and fangs weren't so long or sharp. But the second Beast Boy started to slid into place, the moment that Raven felt utter relief swap her soul, he shifted back. It was horribly beautiful, the way his eyes shifted between colors, fangs and claws lengthening, muscles tensing, shapely mouth drawing back in a scowl.

Cyborg couldn't stop the flinch. So close, so close to having Beast Boy back, but he screwed it up. "It was true," he said again, and made no move to hide the grief in his voice. "I felt better bringing you down because I was so unhappy with myself. I…I lived a great life. Good grades, master mechanic, ladies' man, wide receiver on the football team. I could do no wrong. And it wasn't even my fault that I ended up like this. A drunk driver, who managed to get away without even a scratch, hit me. He didn't even know what he had done he was so intoxicated. My body…there wasn't anything left. It took my legs, busted internal organs. It was a miracle I even survived the trip back to the hospital. The told me, when I woke up a monster, that my will to live was what made me the perfect experiment. They didn't ask if I wanted this, but I was so close to death that it was the only way to save me. And I lost everything. Not even my brain is completely human. My heart, believe it or not, is the only thing not damaged in the wreck.

"I was so disgusted when I walked away from that hospital, after all the experiments, all the testing and drugs and new artillery. I couldn't look at myself, because I was such a freak. I hid in baggy clothes and hooded shirts. But when I saw you, this tiny green kid with one fang protruding from his mouth and pointed elf ears, I didn't feel as bad. So what, I thought, if I'm half human, half robot? He has green skin. He likes tofu. He's not smart. He's a pushover, an idiot, someone who would let people trample over him because he just wants attention. I felt human again, but I knew I didn't have it so bad. So what if I can't have sex? He probably couldn't get any even if he paid.

"It was a sick way to think, but I did it anyway. I wouldn't let myself see the cool guy you were, with your calm logic and easy personality. Yeah, you made stupid jokes, and because you left yourself open for ridicule, you made us laugh, even if for a moment. You let us destroy your confidence so we could feel a bit lighter. But when things were rough, and you tried to lighten the mood, we turned on you, left you by yourself while we tried to solve it. We all had a small spot in us that knew you weren't stupid, that you were just looking for attention, but none of us would let accept it, because it meant that you weren't so stupid, or weak, or unlovable. Seeing you as a burden made us feel better. You never deserved that, Beast Boy. You never deserved our spite, our anger, our own demons, but you shouldered them without fail.

"And I can't blame you for what you've become. We pushed you too far, and now, I'm willing to take anything you throw at me. I won't fight you anymore, Garfield. You don't realize how sorry I really am."

"You think a few word of apology will make up for all that you've done? Do you think he can just forget how much each of you hurt him? He trusted you, all of you. He thought you were true friends, which he could fit in with. But you've showed him he belongs nowhere, with no one. Do you think he can walk out of the tower and make a life for himself? No one will take him because he's a freak. He probably couldn't even make it in a goddamn circus. How do you think it made him feel, to wish and pray that he could get away from you, but know he had nowhere to go? How do you think he felt wishing he would have died with his parents, because he know that he'll never have anyone love him?"

"Beast Boy—"

"No!" The Beast snarled, but a sob caught in Raven's throat when tears spilled freely down his cheeks. "Even Raven had a place in this world. You never treated her differently because she was a half-demon. No, you did everything in your power to make her feel at home. Why couldn't you have done that for me?"

The last sentence was said in such a heartbreaking whisper that Raven did break down. But at the sound of her tears, the Beast whirled around, eyes blazing.

"Stop pitying me! I do not need it! I don't need you to feel sorry for me!" His body was stiff as he moved away from them, slipping back into an animalistic crouch. "I wanted to fit it. That's all. I wanted to know that I had someone in this world that cared, but I don't. Not even Rita loved me. She let him kick me out, let me live on my own because her boyfriend wanted me gone. Not even my own parents cared enough to stay here with me."

"They were killed, Beast Boy. They didn't abandon you." Robin walked forward slowly, steps measured. He didn't want to aggravate the Beast more than he already was. Starfire's eyes were on Raven, but she made no move to go to her.

Robin watched the Beast carefully. Starfire and he had been there long enough to hear Cyborg's confession, and already, his heart was shattering at Beast Boy's pain.

"Don't give me that, you fucking bird. You never noticed I even existed. You only noticed me when I said something stupid. Other than that, I was nothing to you."

Robin frowned. "I'm sorry—"

"I am so tired of you saying sorry! You know damn well you're not even the least bit sorry! If he were to ever believe that you would back off, you'd all go back to walk over him! You all are sick fucks who get off on hurting me!"

The Beast jerked as if he were hit. "I mean him." It then occurred to him that it hadn't been the first time he had used himself while trying to screw it into their thick skulls that he had been hurt.

"We hurt you as much as we hurt Beast Boy," Starfire said softly, her eyebrows drawing together. "You were affected almost as much as he was."

"No. You bastards had no affect on me at all."

"Then why are you so defensive of what we did to him?"

With no answer, the Beast growled. "I don't have to defend myself to you bullies."

Robin moved forward slightly, but froze when he snarled and turned his red eyes to the prone Raven. He knew he wouldn't be able to get to Raven before Beast Boy. Not even his honed skills could protect her.

"Fine, fine, I'll stay."

The Beast seemed to accept this, but his body was still tensed as he watched them wearily.

"Where is Beast Boy?"

The Beast frowned. "Fighting."

"Against you?" Robin asked.

"No shit, Sherlock."

"How can we get him back?" This came from Cyborg, who had just unlocked his mind from his own personal torture.

"It doesn't matter. Nothing matters now. He'll win against me. He'll win, and go back to the tower because he has nowhere else to go. He'll let you walk all over him, hurt him, but this time, he'll handle it. He'll stand back, make a fool of himself again, and when you're better, when you don't hurt anymore, he'll go to his room and break again. And none of you will care. None of you will fucking care because he's nothing more to any of you than a walking mat to tread on and leave all your dirty garbage behind. Cyborg will keep picking at him, keep goading him about tofu, keep rubbing it in his face how stupid his jokes are. Robin will keep pretending he doesn't exist, but will make sure to glare at him and tell him to shut up because he's in the way. Starfire will be shoved too far up Robin's ass to even take care of his needs, and Raven…" The Beast smiled, but there was nothing but hate and sorrow in the curve of his mouth.

"Raven will use everything I did against him, even knowing that it wasn't him doing it. She'll make him feel useless, like always, stupid, like always, hated, like always. She'll jerk away from him when he tries to console her, look at him as if he's nothing. She'll rip him apart again because she can, and he'll let her, because he knows he deserves it. And you know what? He'll live the rest of his life as your personal punching bag. One of these days, when fighting alongside you, he'll finally decide it's not worth it, and when Cinderblock or some no-name villain sends him hurtling off a building, he won't morph. When a gunman aims a .38 mm on him, he won't move. Or maybe, when one of you is in danger, he'll step in front of that bullet, or airborne car. He'll shove you out of the way, but will do nothing to save himself. Oh, you'll cry for a few days, because it's only right to morn over a lost teammate, no matter how pathetic you thought them to be. But weeks, maybe if he's lucky a month, you'll forget him. You'll go on with your life. You'll miss the jokes and using his confidence as target practices, but it'll pass. Soon, you'll forget his name. His face. His voice. You'll forget his birthday, and when the anniversary of his death approaches, you'll pause, and wrack your brain for the reason it seems to stand out in your mind. But that's it. That's how much he means to you.

"Can you truly blame him for creating me? _I_ was the one who told him he wasn't worthless. _I_ was the one who told him that he wasn't alone. _I_ was the one who told him that he was loved, even if it was by me. _I_ was the one who had to open his eyes and show him how much you were using him. Had it not been for me, nothing would have changed."

He took in the shocked stiffness of their bodies, the grieving eyes as the truth sunk into their heads and heart, the sorrowful tears of the women as they learned just how much he hurt. But he didn't care anymore. He was sick and tired of them using Beast Boy, and he would be damned if they got away with it. He didn't have very long; because Beast Boy was as strong as ever know, despite the fact that he had listened to everything. He had almost freed himself from his chains, which left the Beast very little time to leave his last mark upon the Titans.

"He'll destroy me. Because of you, because you pushed him so far off the edge, he's going to have to kill the one person who really loved him, who really cared. He's going to kill me because you screwed up, and he's going to be alone again, like always. He's—"

"You're wrong."

The Beast snarled as Raven struggled to stand up. "Back off," she snapped when her teammates made a move to help her, and finally managed to gain her footing.

"You're not the only one who loves him."

"I'm the only one--!"

"No, you jackass, your not. I've loved Beast Boy for a while now and you know it. But you can't handle that, can you? Someone other than you loving him. I could take him away from you, and it pissed you off. I could make him happy, make him feel like he wasn't alone anymore, and you didn't like it. So you talked him into believing that we were at fault. I know we hurt him, and I know what we all did was wrong, but you made him feel as if we were destroying him because he was actually starting to love each and every one of us."

"No! Stop it! He doesn't love any of you! All you did was hurt him! He would never love any one like—"

"You told me yourself that he loved me."

The Beast backed away from her, red eyes glazing over with panicked fury. "I lied."

"No. Beast Boy loves me, his team, and he was starting to forget you. It was the reason why you talked him into letting you control his body. You were losing him and the only way to get him back was to destroy us."

Raven tilted her chin up, violet eyes glowing. "He didn't love you anymore."

"You fucking whore!"

Before anyone could so much as breathe, the Beast lunged at her. Raven couldn't move thanks to her already bleeding wounds, and took the blow head on. Both crashed to the ground in a sickening crack. Raven felt something break and couldn't stop the cry of pain that burst from her mouth.

When the darkness bled back and color resurfaced once again, she found the Beast straddling her hips, claws digging into her neck. "You don't know anything!"

"You told me…that he hated me because of what I did." Pain numbed her arms and legs, made her breathing labored as her lung worked for air. "But Beast Boy never hated me. _You did_."

His claws dug deeper into her skin so thick rivulets of blood poured to the ground. Raven figured she was already dying—seriously, that much bleeding couldn't be good for the body—so forcing him to the brink of fury until he ended up killing her didn't bother her.

"You hated me because he loved me more than he ever did Terra. It was why you loved her, because he wasn't as attached. He might have been more physical with her, but he didn't love her. Terra gave him a reason to stop wanting me, and he would have left with her because a part of him—_you_—did want to really be with her. It all makes sense now. You couldn't stand the fact that there was someone else who loved him back with as much vigor, so you messed with his head until he believed I was nothing to him and then, when you had him weak enough, you took over. You made me believe that it was all our fault that you were brought out, but that was all a lie, wasn't it?"

And suddenly, things started to fall into place. Raven really looked at him now, saw not just the monster that lived within him, but also the personality that was _human_. Beast Boy had lived with this other creature inside his head that no one had known about. He probably thought of it as his conscious, but no. This was another being inside him who hurt and loved just as he did.

Beast Boy had a split personality, but actually _knew_ he existed.

"You wanted him all to yourself, and it was just freakishly good luck that we hurt him before. Without that, you wouldn't have been able to make him believe that we cared nothing for him. But I was the one you were worried about most, because you could see that he was really starting to love me and want to be with me. I was showing signs of feeling the same way, and you panicked. I was taking him away from you and you had to stop it. So _none_ of this was Beast Boy's fault. He can't control what you did because you are your own person. You're locked in his head but you have a heart and soul, too. You're just as real as Beast Boy is."

The Beast snarled and pressed his fingers harder against her neck. "You would have hurt him if I let him be with you. You would have destroyed him with your cool words and constant sarcasm. I was _saving him_."

"You were destroying him."

"Shut up." He hit her hard, splitting her bottom lip once again. Behind her, she heard her teammates shuffle, as if they were running to aid her, but he twisted and pinned them with a lethal glare, all while tightening his hold on her neck so she was nearly choking. "Anyone comes near her and I'll snap her neck."

Raven's teammates exchanged looks before each moving back a step, keeping a safe distance between the two. It was the first time in a long time that no one knew what to do.

Robin watched them, eyes on the stream of blood that curled around Raven. "This is not our fight anymore."

"And if she dies?" Cyborg asked softly.

"Let's pray she doesn't."

XxX

A'ight, here's how it going to go. This chapter was the longest one ever in the Beast Within, and I thought that it would be too much to add anymore. I still have to write the big battle between Beast Boy and his other personality, and then wrap things up. That there is another good twenty pages, so I'm cutting it off there. I hope things finally make sense now, what with Beast Boy being schizophrenic and all, so it does solve the relationship a bit between BB and Rae. So, now—have you noticed every time I say there's a set number of chapter left, then end up changing it?—there will be two chapter left. Hopefully…


	16. Chapter Sixteen: The Love of a Beast

For years, he had lived within his mind, watching as his confidence deteriorated and his love for the demon grew. The Beast had always been with him, had loved him with all of his being, and had been his rock when those disgusting teammates hurt him.

He knew ever aspect of Beast Boy, every emotion of Garfield Logan, knew what made him content, miserable, angry. No one knew him better than the Beast, yet because he was so wrapped up in the half demon whore, he was overlooked and slowly flaking away in the back of his head.

He didn't understand. Why would Beast Boy give up his love for that of a tainted demon? What made her so special? So she could be there physically for him, but he comforted his mind, his soul, his entire _being_. Shouldn't that be enough?

He had to get rid of Raven. It was right, and safe, and Beast Boy would finally see that the Beast was the only one he needed.

He would be angry for a while, but it would be understandable. He would hate him, swear that he would have nothing to do with him, but when the nights became lonely and only the memory of Raven kept him company, he would beg him to be with the Beast. He would want him back in his head, where he would resume comforting him and guiding his way through the hell he lived in.

Raven's death was crucial if he was to have Beast Boy back. If he softened and allowed Raven to live, Beast Boy would destroy him permanently. There would be no chance of him having Beast Boy, for she would tell him that he was a burden. And of course, because Beast Boy craved her love, he would destroy him without a second thought.

Already, Beast Boy ripped through the layers that separated them, forcing his way toward the surface. Pain slammed through his head as he fought to regain control. The Beast bit back a howl of agony as his hands tightened around Raven's throat.

She flinched; back slightly arching as she tried to take in what little breath she could. Already, his knees were soaked in her blood from the pools that swam from her wounds. Her eyes, however, were as strong as they were before he had destroyed her body and heart.

The Beast shoved the pain in his head down as his lips curled in a malicious grin, his thumb gently running down the pulse pounding in her throat. One tiny slip of his claw and she'd bleed to death in minutes…

Then again, minutes would give the teammates time to stop the blood flow. Two could grab him, one stop it…

"Tell me, demon whore, how shall I kill you?" His grip lessened on her throat, giving her time to answer. It was only fitting that she should have a say in her own death.

He snarled, however, when she answered with a weak grin and a clear, "Fuck you, asshole."

He brought his hand back to hit her, but his fist stopped at his chin. Something flashed in those hate filled eyes that had Raven drawing back as much as she could. Whatever he had in mind was not in her best interest…

He smiled slowly and lowered his hand so it rested against the thin strap of her gown. "No…I think I have a better idea."

The Beast gently turned to observe the three teenagers who watched with weary eyes. When their gazes collided, however, each slipped into a unique fighting stance: Robin's right hand fluttered to his belt while his left was held in front of him, almost like a shield and his knees were bent lest violence reared.

Starfire's legs were parted, weight balanced equally on each foot and glowing hands loosely at her side. Her eyes, alight with green fire, flashed angrily as her angelic face slipped into that of a stunning demon. Cyborg, as usual, had his arm outstretched and sonic cannon flaring beneath smooth metal.

The Beast had seen it all, knew every weakness, every strength, every fighting stance and what they promised. And at the moment all those years of dealing with them would come in handy, for once Raven was done with, he would take them down until Beast Boy was once again in control of his body. He wouldn't kill them, for Raven was the only one holding Beast Boy back, but toy with them. With Raven dead and scars coating their body, they wouldn't want Beast Boy again, even if he were shoved back into the recess of Gar's mind.

Then, he would be with Beast Boy for eternity. He knew there would be whores, whom would be thrown away without a second thought, but he was all right with that. It was only natural to crave another human's touch, and since the Beast couldn't rightfully give it, disposable woman were fine. If he became too attached again, then the Beast would handle it.

But Beast Boy would be his. There was no way he could allow anyone to take him away, especially the feisty half demon beneath him.

Her heart pounded beneath his hand as the Beast studied her features. Even bruised, beaten, and bloody, Raven was a vision of beauty. She was no Starfire, with perfect bones beneath flawless dark skin, but she was stunning. Her alabaster skin was flushed with her struggle, violet eyes darkening to midnight as her demon writhed inside her mind. Despite the fact that Beast Boy was the only one whom he wanted, Raven tugged at his desire. He had to admit, however much he hated the girl, that he could see why Beast Boy fell so hard for her.

Alas, she had to be dealt with. He smiled again as his hands tightened around the thin strap. Leaning down until his mouth caressed hers with the softness of a butterfly kiss, the Beast said softly, "You know, Raven, I think I have a solution to our dilemma." His thumb moved gently over the skin where her heartbeat thrummed.

His own skipped a beat in lustful excitement as he said, only loud enough for her to hear, "I'll rip your heart out, just as you did his."

He had the pleasure of seeing her eyes dilate before he ripped away the meager nightgown. Behind him, her teammates uttered their distress, and the Beast moved just in time as a bird-a-rang sliced the air centimeters from his cheekbone. He was unfazed, however, as set his claws over her heart.

He was slightly disappointed in himself for allowing her a bra when the dressed her, but his heart was kind enough to allow her to die before her teammates in some matter of decency.

Another bird-a-rang whizzed by, this time slicing a deep, thin line across his cheek, and the Beast realized that he had limited time. Not only was Beast Boy a threat, but the teens behind him.

"It was a nice ride, Rae, but I can't allow you to live if Beast Boy is to come back to me."

Before anyone could react, the Beast slid his clawed hand into her chest.

* * *

He felt it before he could see it.

Beast Boy stumbled to a halt, hands reaching for anything that could support him as his breath whooshed out of his lungs. Dizzy, Beast Boy pressed his hand to his heart, which clinched tightly in his chest.

Thinking that the Beast had finally pushed his teammates over the edge and forced them to kill his body, Beast Boy turned to the screen.

And felt his world shatter when the Beast slid his claws into Raven.

A sticky warmness covered his hands suddenly, and with his heart in his throat, Beast Boy glanced down, only to find it covered in blood.

He retched, couldn't help it, and hit his knees as the Beast maniacal laughter bounced off his mind.

_I did it, Beast Boy. I'm killing her. Now, now you can see that we belong together. She only got in the way. Don't you see? She would have stopped you from needing me. She would have ripped out what's left of your heart if I didn't stop her. But see? Now it's her heart that we'll rip from her. I'm so close, now, I swear I can feel it pounding around my fingers. All I have to do it grab hold, and then we can be together. _

_It's what was always meant to be, Garfield. We've been through so much together. I was there when you woke from your sickness. I helped you through you're parents death, kindled your hatred when that couple used you as their puppet. I was your shoulder when the Doom Patrol thought they could survive without you. _

_You need me, Beast Boy, more than anyone in this world. Raven was merely a distraction. You'll get over her death in time, and then you'll see that I'm the only one you need. You'll understand. You'll come to love me like I do you, Garfield. _

_I promise. _

Beast Boy howled in agonized fury as he swept his claws along the dusty fabric that covered his mind.

"This isn't what I want, damn you!"

_You don't know what you want, Garfield. I've lived inside you, loved you with every fiber of my being. I've_ bled _for you. I'm what you want, even if you can't see it. I can't give you physical love, but we can fix that. Prostitutes and whores looking for one-night-stands can handle that, but I'll love your mind. You won't have to destroy yourself with me. You can be yourself, Gar. Isn't that what you always wanted? To be you and have no one hate you?_

"No, you fucking bastard! I want _her_!"

He didn't have to say her name for the Beast to understand. Suddenly, his voice wasn't so soft. Rage bled through every syllable as he screeched, _She would have destroyed you! She doesn't love you! You were nothing but a—_

"Punching bag? A rug to tread on? Yeah, I know. I get it. But did you ever take into consideration that I did nothing to stop them? I was fine with how things were. Sure, it hurt a little, but I was _fine_ _where I was_. Raven was starting to see the real me, and if I had never had let you tell me otherwise, I could have shown her the real me. She might have loved me for who I was, but you never gave me the chance to find out."

_No! She was using you_!

"Like you did?"

Before the Beast could say anything, Beast Boy felt his feet lift from the floor. His back slammed into the cushioned chairs as the Beast's line of view wavered on the screen.

Cursing, Beast Boy scrambled up, the tip of the broken chain slapping his thigh. "What the—oh."

The Beast was flat on his back, blood dripping into his eyes. Beast Boy watched as he turned to his side, yelping in agony when he put too much pressure on his cracked hip, and stared at the now demonic Raven.

There were no four red eyes, but a frightening back that left no trace of white. Black energy crackled around her fist as she seemed to float from her position. Thick rivulets of blood seeped onto the ripped fabric of her gown, but in seconds, the broken skin on her chest mended.

Beast Boy couldn't help the smirk as the Beast's heart slammed against his ribs. Finally. Raven was fighting back against him. Which either meant that she believed that Beast was another person, or that she didn't care and his body was about to be pulverized.

Either way, she was herself again and Beast Boy gradually relaxed. He didn't care if his body was killed, so long as the Beast was put to rest. If she did believe him, however, Beast Boy wanted nothing more than to destroy the Beast with his own two hands. The only way to do that was if his body was unconscious and the Beast had to retreat to his mind. Then they would be face to face for the first time ever since the Beast had been created.

Despite the fact that the Beast earned his hate, Beast Boy felt hollow at the thought of killing him. The Beast, now that he thought about it, had been there for him since he became sick so many years ago. He had guided him through hard times, had been gentle and kind when no one wanted him, and had consoled him during Terra's betrayal. He had turned, however, when Beast Boy found himself falling in love with Raven.

It was strange that the Beast had no problems with Terra. He had thought he loved her, but why was the Beast fine with her and not Raven? There had been a very slim chance that Raven would ever return his feelings, no matter how many time he told the Beast that she did, so why? Why did he hate her so much?

_She was going to take you away from me._

Beast Boy struggled to his feet, his left hand clutching tightly to the back of one of the old, rusted chairs. "There was little chance of her loving me back. I might have loved her, but she didn't love me."

_You're wrong._

Beast Boy waited for an explanation, but when none came, Beast Boy turned and headed for the exit. Truth be told, he had no idea what lay behind the thick doors, but if he was to destroy the Beast—his heart clinched—he had to find a better place than the theater. The only problem was how was he supposed to get the Beast inside his head?

It would be pointless to fight his way back into his body with the Beast still residing in his mind. The Beast would have time to plot his conquest over him once again and if Beast Boy allowed himself one weak moment, the Beast would strike. He couldn't put Raven through that again. She had suffered enough at his hands and Beast Boy couldn't find it in his heart to take the chance.

But at the moment, he was at a loss. How could he get the Beast back into his head? Beast Boy paused at the doors, claws hands resting gently against the peeling wood.

What would going in there bring? What if he couldn't see anything that was happening outside? Raven could be killed and he wouldn't know it. Beast Boy glanced down at his bloody fingers.

But why had he felt his heart break before he knew the Beast had tried to rip out her heart? He hadn't seen it, but his body had—well, so his soul had. Was he really so connected with Raven that he was in tune with her, even without having control of his body?

Wait…if that were possible, couldn't he somehow talk to her through_ her_ mind, instead of his? She could easily talk to him telepathically, but could he? He wasn't half-demon like her, so could it be done?

Heart hammering, Beast Boy pushed away from the door and settled down before it, his body slipping into Raven's meditation position. "This had to work," he said softly. "Raven needs to be able to hear me." With a shaking breath, Beast Boy closed his eyes, blocking out the sounds of the screen and concentrating fully on Raven.

He said her name for what seemed like hours, but nothing but silence greeted him. Losing faith quickly, Beast Boy did the only thing he could think of.

He begged.

"Dammit, Raven," his mind pleaded, "I need you to hear me. I need you to listen to me, even if you despise me. I don't know how to talk to you with my mind only, but I'm trying.

"God, Raven, you don't know how much I hate myself for letting this bastard hurt you. I…I didn't think he would go this far. All I wanted was a break from everything. It was weak, I know, but, hey, being weak is what I'm best at. But Raven, you have to understand, I never meant for you to get hurt. I had no idea that I was schizophrenic. I just thought it was just a stupid voice in my head. I…I'd give anything to take it all back. I wish…I wish I hadn't of been so stupid as to let him talk me into thinking that you deserved all this. You didn't, and it was so cruel of me to say so. God, I can't get your face out of my head, Rae. You were so hurt. I…I really didn't think I was capable of hurting you, but I was wrong. I would give anything to take it all back. But that's the cowards way of thinking…There's nothing I can do to make it up to you, except kill him. I swear to you that I will, and when it's done, I promise I'll leave the Titans. You'll never have to worry about anything like this happening again. With me gone, you'll be able to forget this ever happened, and maybe everyone can really function like a team, instead of having to worry about my screw-ups.

"I wish you could hear me, Rae. I wish you could know that, despite everything, I love you more than anything. All I want is for you to be happy, and for you to forget about me and what I've done to you."

Beast Boy felt his shoulders slump when no one replied. "I'm sorry, Raven. Selfishly, I wish you could hear this…I wish that—"

"Beast Boy."

His eyes snapped open in surprise as her voice caressed his ears, and stupidly, he jumped to his feet. It took him awhile to realize that he had just broken his connection to her, and his curses bounced off the walls. In the midst of kicking the side of the chair, he heard her again, and his yelp of pain froze in his throat.

"I hear you."

"What? Really? Dammit, I broke the bloody connection so now I've got to meditate—"

"Look at the screen, Beast Boy."

He whirled around to do as she commanded, the chains around his wrist slapping his skin. Raven stood there, eyes bleeding back into the amethyst he loved so much, her arms folded over her chest.

_What the hell is she doing? Is she…talking to you? How? Beast Boy, what the hell do you think you're doing?_

Ignoring him, Beast Boy said, "So you heard me? Everything? I wasn't just talking to myself?"

"No."

"Yes!" Beast Boy allowed himself a mini victory dance before he settled down. "How? I can't communicate telepathically like you can…unless…"

"I never really severed our connection when I left your mind. It was thin, so the only way to strengthen it was to really concentrate…like you did…"

"So…you heard…everything, right?"

"Yes."

Beast Boy couldn't help the way his heart dropped into his stomach at her single answer. But what did he expect? For her to burst into tears and forgive him? No, there was no way he would ever win her back, no matter how hard he tried. Beast Boy frowned when what was left of his heart shattered, leaving him uncomfortably hollow. But it was for the best. When he left, it was better to be like this. That way, he wouldn't break under the knowledge that he had truly lost everything. After this, when he would be put in confinement—there was no way around that—and after his time finished, he would leave them all. He didn't think past that, for it would be all he could do in prison.

Beast Boy forced himself to make his voice light. "Then I need you to do me a favor." Well, so much for making sure he talked normally. The sound that came out of his mouth was dull, but he figured it didn't matter. Nothing did anymore.

Her busted mouth turned down in a frown. "How?"

He couldn't stand seeing her so bruised and bloodied, so he turned away to study the old doors. "He needs to be unconscious before I can take him down. It would be stupid to fight to gain control if he still exists somewhere in my head. Can you do that?"

"Of course." There was something in her tone that almost made him turn around, but he forced his body to stay where it was.

"Good."

"Beast Boy—"

"Don't let him hurt you again."

With that said, Beast Boy pushed through the double doors.

* * *

Raven felt tears gather behind her eyes as Beast Boy snapped the connection between them. His dull voice had ripped through her entire being, causing her body to tremble uncontrollably. She had never heard him so monotonous before. Oh, she should have told him what she felt when he said all those sweet things in her head, but all she could utter was a stupid yes. That was it. Was that why he sounded so forlorn? Because he thought that she wouldn't forgive him?

Dammit, what was it with her and her damn reputation? She hadn't said all she felt because everyone had been watching her. Hate simmered in her stomach at her own stupidity.

But she couldn't worry about that at the moment. She had to find a way to knock the Beast unconscious without getting hurt.

She couldn't stop the warmth that spread through her system at his final words. He did care about her, even if he had completely given up on her.

"Sorry, sweetheart, but I gotta do this before he finds some way to destroy me."

Raven's eyes snapped up to the Beast to find him charging. Damnit. Pay attention, Raven. You must do this for Beast Boy!

Raven closed her eyes and willed her powers to bubble beneath her skin. She didn't have much, for her body was too weak, but she had just enough to send him hurtling backward.

She let the power take over once again; basking in the strength it lent her. When she opened her eyes, the Beast inches from her, she smiled, and let the energy sweep him back twenty feet so his crashed into the ragged stone walls.

The Beast snarled and struggled to his feet as she turned to her bewildered teammates. "Beast Boy wants him unconscious."

And with her body completely drained, Raven collapsed.

* * *

Starfire gasped and rushed to her fallen teammate as Robin and Cyborg shifted into a fighting stance. "Unconscious, huh?" Robin mused aloud.

"We don't want to hurt him."

"I know…wait." With his eyes on the Beast, Robin reached behind him to grab the tranquilizer gun. He didn't pull it forth; for the Beast was watching him with furious eyes, blood dripping his forehead from a wound they couldn't see.

"What is it?" Cyborg asked silently so the Beast was unable to hear…hopefully.

"Something that won't hurt hi—duck!"

The Beast launched at them with a speed that they had never seen, claws outstretched and mouth peeled back in a snarl. Robin was forced to remove his hand from the gun as he threw his body to the side. He landed hard on his left shoulder, his breath snaking through his teeth as he reopened the wound on his side.

"Shit," he ground out as he scrambled to his feet, the Beast's claws narrowly missing his back.

"Dammit, you little bastard, stay still!" The Beast fisted his hand and threw an upper punch that was destined for his chin, but Robin was lucky enough to trip over a protruding rock that sprouted from the ground. He hit his back hard, the small gun digging painfully into his skin. It was worth it, however, when the momentum of the Beast's punch threw him off and momentarily left him defenseless.

"Sorry, Beast Boy," he said quietly, and thrust both feet up so they hit him square in the chest, sending him sprawling back with a curse. It gave Robin enough time to leap to his feet, albeit slowly, thanks to his wounds. Blood dribbled down his side in thick rivulets, but he paid no heed to it as he slammed his fist into the Beast's mouth as he tried to get up.

Robin hopped from foot to foot to keep the pain from radiating. He was hyped up for the spar, so that as well numbed the pain. It had been so long since he had been in a really good fight and now, opportunity rang.

The Beast scowled as Robin grinned. "Fist to fist okay with you? No claws and no weapons?"

"I don't play fair," he snapped, highly insulted that Robin would think he would fight clean.

"S'alright. Neither do I." Robin deftly crouched and swept out a foot, knocking the Beast on his back. He was up in an instant, however, and Robin was impressed with the move.

"Beast Boy move?"

"He can do a hell of a lot more than just shift, Robin."

And he proved it well. Robin had to admit that he really wasn't prepared for the moves the Beast used. They were swift and clean, with much thought behind each sweeping kick and rock hard punch. He could just as easily slip from offensive to defensive, and Robin found that the Beast often used both. Only skilled fighters could learn to use both without stumbling. Where had he learned to fight like this? And why had he never used it before?

Did he feel like it wasn't needed? That it wasn't good enough? Or did he think that shifting was the only reason he was need on the team? Did he really think that if he did something other than shifting, they wouldn't need him anymore? Just how bad was Beast Boy suffering because of them?

Suddenly, Robin didn't feel like fighting anymore, and when the Beast brought back his fist, he didn't think of blocking it. Instead, he took it head on. He knew without a doubt that his bottom lip busted, but he wasn't sure what else was damaged. Nevertheless he made sure, as his back slammed against the floor once again, that his hand grabbed hold of the gun. He didn't have time to pull it back, so when he hit, he felt one of his fingers break under the weight of his body.

Robin flinched, but otherwise stayed where he was. Blood filled his mouth and fell down his chin as the Beast stood over him, claws ready. "Nice fight, Robin."

He grimaced in pain as his finger throbbed painfully. "Yeah. Nice."

The Beast smirked as he crouched over him. "Never thought I'd see the day when you'd lose to anyone. Your personality won't allow you."

Smiling, the Beast wrapped his hand around Robin's throat, claws digging into the skin. "You know, my plan was to kill Raven and mess with you all a bit, but now that I'm here, I think it'd be in my best interest to kill you."

He did not take his time with Robin as he did with Raven, so when Starfire sent a starbolt at his back, the Beast was seconds away from nicking his windpipe. The Beast tumbled to this side in pain as Robin rolled away, neck throbbing painfully.

Robin pressed his injured hand to his neck, scowling when he pulled it away only to find it smeared with blood. "Great," he muttered as he struggled to his feet. Thankfully, Cyborg was there to take his hand.

And the gun.

With the Beast currently getting his ass whooped by one angry Tameranian—she seemed to be getting him back for earlier occurrences—Cyborg and Robin quickly loaded it. It was decided, as Starfire ducked a punch and let loose one of her own, that Cyborg would to do it. Robin couldn't with his broken finger, and Starfire, in her rage, might hit something vital.

So Cyborg hid the gun on his person while Robin moved off to pry his girl from the Beast. His heart constricted in pain. He would have never thought that he would end up shooting his best friend, even if it were a tranquilizer gun. Cyborg kept his eyes locked on his best friend.

But things took a turn for the worst when Robin made a move to pull Starfire away from the fight. The Beast, bloodied now thanks to Starfire, snarled and reached for the Boy Wonder. Starfire didn't have time to even cry out his name before the Beast grabbed Robin's collar, lifted him off the ground, and tossed him into the nearest wall. A sickening crack filled the cave followed quickly by Starfire's sharp, "_Robin_!"

She moved to him, but the Beast had been pushed too far already. With Beast Boy plotting against him with the demon and his teammates trying to bring him down, the rage in him bubbled over to the point where it washed away his love for Beast Boy. Hatred led him now as he stalked toward the Tameranian, pausing briefly to pick up a discarded weapon.

Cyborg lifted the gun, but felt his heart stop when he realized there was no clear shot. If he hit Starfire, it'd be over. Robin said it would only take one, which was all he brought. Hitting Starfire would give the Beast time to kill her and Robin, if he wasn't dead already. Cyborg's hand shook as his eyes darted to Robin. He lay unmoving as blood pooled around his body, but from the angle, Cyborg couldn't tell if he was breathing or not. But from the look in Starfire's eyes…

"You have pissed me off," the Beast snarled, hand snaking hold of her as she tried to get to Robin. He brought her back against his chest, arms tightening around her injured ribs as she cried out in pain. "Did you seriously think that you could get rid of me? That knocking me out would save you? Well, sweetheart, I hate to burst your bubble, but…"

The Beast smiled as he twisted her around and, with the gentleness he knew Robin had showed her, kissed her mouth softly as he shoved her lover's bird-a-rang deeply into her stomach. He basked in her shocked gasp and the blood that quickly covered his hand.

He pressed his lips against her hot forehead as he gently cooed, "You can't take me down that easily. 'Sides," he added when his red gaze slid to the immobile Robin, "it is only fitting that you die with you love."

He made sure his eyes were locked with Cyborg as he let Starfire slipped down his body and fall to heap on the floor. He knew, with her being such a strong Tameranian and all, that she wouldn't let that wound kill her immediately. Instead, she would crawl to Robin (like she was now) and make sure he wasn't dead (which he probably was) and then would allow herself to die. Simple really, and he would get rid of two birds with one stone. Now, since Raven was near death already with blood loss, his only obstacle was Cyborg.

The Beast turned to him, eyes blood red, and smirked. He moved forward, but stopped when Cyborg smiled hatefully.

"Sorry, bastard, but I don't go down easily, either." And with his smile still in place, Cyborg lifted the gun and pulled the trigger.

The Beast stared at the needle protruding from his chest before lifting his eyes to Cyborg. But he had moved, and now, all six foot six of the metal teen stood before him.

Cyborg smiled. "Just in case."

He slammed the butt of the gun against the Beast's temple.

* * *

He was waiting for him when the Beast stumbled in, arms loosely folded on his knees. His eyes were dulled as the Beast spotted him, but he made no move to get up. He allowed the Beast to study him, barely blinking when hate dribbled from his eyes to be replaced with desire.

"I can't believe we're in the same place together…"

Beast Boy said nothing, merely watched him as the Beast twisted around to take in the surroundings. "This is sorta like the place where you and Slade fought over Terra…" He glanced down as fog twisted around his ankles.

"Darker, though." He frowned. "More Gothic."

"We're not here to talk."

The Beast kept studying the places, taking small circles to take in everything. From floor to ceiling was covered in mirrors, some cracked along the edges, others as spotless as rain. But behind him, from where he had come, was a nothing but a yawning black that seemed to beckon with gnarled fingers of smoke.

"I'm aware of that. You want to take me down." The Beast turned back to Beast Boy with a grin. "Understandable, since I did end up killing two of your teammates. I really don't think you'll be welcome with open arms to Starfire and Robin's funeral."

His smile faltered when Beast Boy merely blinked, face neutral. This wasn't the Beast Boy he had lived with all his life. This was…something different, something…dead.

Hate sparked again. "Raven did this to you. She's the reason you're like this. I knew I should have ended it instead of letting her bleed to death. But it's okay."

Beast Boy stood up slowly, aware that the Beast was watching his every movement. So…Raven was dying, huh? And Robin and Starfire were dead. Well, then.

Beast Boy blinked once. Twice.

And pounced.

The Beast couldn't dodge the swipe of claws that raked down his chest and both of them tumbled down in a tangle of limbs. "You killed everything that I loved!"

He tried to block the punch, and managed to, but the force of the hit nearly cracked a bone in his arm as he shielded his face. "They were my family!"

He straddled him now, slamming hit after hit until blood seemed to weep from every pore on the Beast's face. "They were all I had!"

When his own fists became bloody, Beast Boy seemed to slowly break. "I loved her."

The Beast was thankful for that distraction, for Beast Boy stopped hitting him long enough for him to get a good hold on himself. The Beast shoved him off, immediately jumping to pin Beast Boy to the ground.

He wiped the blood from his nose with a swipe of his hand. "Maybe, but it doesn't matter now. She dead by now, Beast Boy. Get over it."

"No."

Beneath him, Beast Boy shifted. For a brief moment, the feel of muscles rippling under him clogged logic with lust and he was unable to stop the Tyrannosaurs Rex from swinging him to the ground.

He shook his head to clear the cobwebs, eyes widening as a large green foot barreled down on him. He barely had time to dodge it before he slammed it against the ground, a wide crater immediately forming beneath it.

"Well, now, if we're going to play dirty…"

The Beast morphed into a ram just as Beast Boy took on the form of a wolf. He swept his head down just as Beast Boy latched onto his left leg, teeth sinking deeply into the skin. With a howl, the Beast bucked his antlers so it hooked under Beast Boy's stomach and sent him crashing into a wall of mirrors. Glass rained down over him, slicing through skin and forcing him to revert to his normal form.

Beast Boy barely had time to get to his feet before he was rammed again, this time with the Beast in his human form. The force of his shoulder cracked a few ribs as the both skidded back, shards of glass digging deeply into Beast Boy's back. He didn't have time to worry about that, however, as the Beast slammed his fist into his mouth. His lower fang pierced his top lip, a thick stream of blood dripping down his chin.

"You know, it really pisses me off that you can say you love her so easily when you claim to hate me so much."

"It's because I do." Beast Boy shifted again, but this time, the Beast was ready. Somehow they both shifted into wolves, one solid white, and the other black with red eyes.

The Beast's eyes smirked as they circled each other. "White against black. Good against evil. Sort of cliché, no?"

Green eyes flickered for a moment as his teeth peeled back in a canine snarl. "Why are you doing this? And don't say it was Raven. It's not. This is about you and me."

The Beast lunged for his neck, but Beast Boy easily rolled out of the way. Of all the animal forms he had taken, the wolf provided him with more comfort than any. It was his signature animal, and he knew how to use it to his advantage. He gained footing, head lowered as a snarl rumbled in his throat.

Beast Boy could feel his smile as the black wolf's eyes roamed over him. "It was always about you and me, Beast Boy. We were always apart of each other, but I was in your mind while you used our body. But I was fine there. You acknowledged me, and I loved you for it."

"You're not talking about brotherly love, are you?"

"Of course not. I love you like Starfire loves Robin." The Beast gave a canine laugh. "Or loved."

Beast Boy growled darkly. "What was the point of killing them?"

The Beast lunged again, narrowly missing his neck. But he was playing with him. Had this been serious, the fight would have already started and blood would now coat the floor. His shackles rose. So he was being toyed with, huh?

The Beast pranced around him now, nearly giddy at being so close to the real Beast Boy. "For fun, mainly. Raven was the only one I wanted to really kill."

Beast Boy let his eyes briefly drop down to the Beast's back paws. It went unnoticed, however, as the Beast nudged his head against Beast Boy's, barely missing the white wolf's jaws.

Grinning wolfishly, the Beast danced around to his other side to bop his hip with his own. "Come on, you can't really blame me. I mean, they were holding you back, keeping us away from each other. And, I gotta admit, although I hate every part of Raven, she was real fun to fuck."

Beast Boy snapped at that, body dropping down and his jaw snapping over his back paw. Beast Boy felt the bone snap beneath his teeth and felt pride swamp his soul as the Beast let out a horrible howl. Blood filled his mouth, threatening to choke him, but he refused to let go. The Beast snapped his head to the side, teeth digging into his hip. Beast Boy whimpered, but bit down harder.

Blood dripped down onto the floor as both wolves fought to free themselves from the others jaw. Beast Boy realized that he was the underdog between them. He might have done serious damage, but if the Beast moved his jaws an inch, he could bite into something vital. He couldn't let that happen. He couldn't give the Beast the chance to completely take over. If Beast Boy was killed, that was it. The Beast would be able to control his body for the rest of his life. If Raven survived, he'd go after her. Cyborg as well. Robin and Starfire…oh God, he couldn't let him get away with their death. If what the Beast said was true…

Hate numbed the pain in his hip as rage clouded his eyes. His teeth clamped harder as blood dribbled from the side of his mouth. He had to change tactics. If he pulled back, the Beast would still have a hold on his hip, so…

Thinking quickly, Beast Boy closed his eyes, loosed his jaw, and morphed into a turtle. Pain drummed through his body as the Beast was forced to unhook his grip. Beast Boy shuddered as his shell quickly filled with blood. Quickly, he peered out of his shelter to see what the Beast was now.

He had barely a second to jerked his head back in before a tiger's claw swept out, sending him flying into a cracked mirror. Pain danced in front of him as his body morphed into a wolf again.

The black cat watched him, all weight balanced on his front paws. "Sneaky move."

Beast Boy moved away from the shattered glass littering the floor, shoulders tense with fury. The Beast stayed where he was, blood pooling around his broke leg. Beast Boy realized that now, he was on clear path to the upper hand. With that bum leg, he wouldn't be able to move as quickly without causing more pain than he was already handling.

The problem there was if he made the wrong move, he could end up hurt. Already his back was screaming in pain as his hip throbbed. If he did something wrong, it could mean losing everything.

Beast Boy had started to circle him in hopes of coming up with a plan when something prickled at the back of his neck. He stopped, head swinging to the yawning darkness that seemed to swallow every bit of light inside his mind. Something was there; he knew it. It watched him patiently, eyes caressing over his form. Panic bubbled inside him. It…couldn't be another personality, could it? No, there was only the Beast…

Or, it could be another being that was not as heady as the Beast had been. So was there a chance that he had multiple personalities? If that were the case, then he was screwed. What if this personality sided with the Beast? Would he have to worry about watching his back now? Or did this personality want things back to normal, with Beast Boy controlling his own body?

What was he supposed to do? What if nothing was there and he was panicking? Thinking about this could give the Beast ample time to attack. Quickly, Beast Boy turned to watch the Beast.

But he was not longer there.

Before he could locate his position, something solid slammed into him, sharp teeth grabbing hold of his neck. Beast Boy managed to jerk back, but blood fell heavily from the wound now, making him dizzy.

Did the Beast hit something vital? If he stayed in this form, would he bleed to death? And why did he still feel eyes on him that did not belong to the Beast? Beast Boy shifted back into his human form, hand quickly going to his neck. He let out a sigh of relief when he noticed that the bite was more on his shoulder than anything.

He pressed his hand against it, eyes flittering briefly to the darkness. Something _was_ there, but as to what it could be…

He didn't mull over it for long, however, for the Beast had followed his lead and shifted into his human form. He favored his left leg, which opened a new possibility he could use.

Hand to hand combat would end up being in his best interest. The Beast would be slow moving in any form he used. Beast Boy sighed softly. He didn't want to drag this on for much longer. What he needed was the find a way to end the Beast's life for good, so he could get started on his.

"What's the matter, Beast Boy? Don't have the balls to kill me?"

Beast Boy's eyes narrowed as the Beast smirked cockily. He added more weight to his right leg, grimacing as he did so, but now, he was equally balanced. "You do realize that I'm stronger than you are. Even with this leg, I can take you down. No hard feelings when I beat you, right?"

"You're too cocky for you own good."

The Beast shrugged, idly gazing behind him. Beast Boy wondered if he too realized something was there and a cold fear coated his stomach. He looked so damn confident as he turned his gaze back to Beast Boy, lips tilting in a grin.

_Shit. If there is something back there, then it is definitely not on my side. The Beast looks too sure of himself…but would he really cheat? Huh, guess I know that answer, considering he stoops to raping women. _Rage bubbled up at that thought. Suddenly, memories of the Beast torturing Raven flew through his head.

His mind was filled with her eyes, so dull and lifeless, body bloody as she accepted a fate that she did not deserve. His blood boiled as he slipped into a fighting stance, eyes livid with fury.

The Beast blinked; head tilting slightly as he interpreted Beast Boy's posture. He wasn't happy, that much was for sure, but here was something in his eyes…something that he hadn't seen before. They were dark, flecks of pale green alight with fire as he leaned forward on his left foot.

He was so busy trying to decipher the look that he was unprepared when Beast Boy launched himself forward, muscles gliding beneath naked skin. His fist hit his jaw, snapping his head back and propelling him backwards. His skull hit the ground first, sending shockwaves of pain down his entire body. Agony clouded his vision as he struggled to sit up, but the movement jarred his leg. The Beast howled in agonized pain, hands immediately jerking down to cradle the wound. Blood seeped through his fingers as he snarled up at the man he had loved since his creation.

"That was dirty, even for you."

Beast Boy refused to honor him with a reply as he charged forward again, claws extended. For the first time in a while, Beast Boy was thankful for his animalistic traits. It surged through his blood, nullified the pain from his wounds and stoked the anger in his heart.

The Beast couldn't move his hands fast enough to block the attack. Beast Boy's claws slid into his shoulder, forcing him from his position on the ground. Beast Boy's momentum allowed him to bring the Beast with him as he raced toward a row of untouched mirrors, claws sinking deeper the farther he went.

The Beast's back slammed against the wall, shards of glass rending into his skin. The pain was so great he couldn't even cry out. Unconsciousness beckoned and for a moment, he felt himself succumb to the glorious temptation, but he knew if he blacked out, Beast Boy would kill him without a second thought. He had worked too hard to let it all end with his death, so he forced his body to bear the pain. His eyes, clouded over with it, met Beast Boy's.

The hand buried inside his shoulder twitched, almost as if to fist inside him and rend everything in its path. Beast Boy's other hand slammed into his throat. He gagged as he fought for breath, bloody hands squeezing around the hand cutting off his air supply. His claws dug into the skin, painfully breaking through it, but the agony didn't register in Beast Boy's eyes.

Instead, the fury that inspired his attack flared stronger, and the Beast knew that this was it. He would die, and there would be nothing he could do about it. But despite this, he refused to leave the boy's body without leaving his emotional mark.

"So this is it, huh? This is what it comes down to." He could scarcely talk, what with the pressure on his throat blocking almost all possible air from entering or leaving his lungs. Beast Boy, his innocent heart thumping wildly in his chest, loosened his grip, just enough so the Beast could say his last words.

"You'll kill me, that much is obvious, but at what cost? You'll lose the one person who really cared about you. I know my heart is black, and that my soul has enough sin to destroy an entire city, but what I say is true. I love you, Beast Boy, and because of that whore, you'll end up losing the only person who—"

"I know."

The Beast faltered, but continued his dialogue. "They'll put you behind bars, Beast Boy, even though you did nothing. When you're released, you'll have nowhere to go, nobody to be with. You'll be alone, again. Raven won't be able to look at you the same. Cyborg will hate you for killing his teammates. The Tower will be out of your reach, and no one will want you. Kill me and—"

"I know." There was something in his tone that he the Beast trailing off, eyes snapping up to his.

There was such raw agony in his green eyes that, for a moment, the Beast actually felt remorse at his actions. He knew now, with death impending on his life, that he was the reason that Beast Boy would have to face this alone.

However, there was no need to accept this in his mind. He would not die without having a proper cause to his actions, and Raven was his ticket. But there was no use for her anymore. Beast Boy was already broken and any talk of his ruined life would be pointless. A man could only take so much pain without stepping over the threshold of suicide. He loved Beast Boy too much to allow him to take his own life…

Beast Boy sighed in defeat. "I know that I've lost everything I loved. I know that I'm alone again; that I will never have a place in the hearts of the people I love. _I know this_. There's nothing left for me but to accept my punishment. But I can't let you get away with what you've done. Raven never deserved to have you hurt her. Starfire and Robin didn't deserve to die because you wanted to get back at me…"

Suddenly, Beast Boy realized why the Beast was doing all this. Raven had never been the cause. All this was because…

"You were punishing _me_."

Beast Boy nearly jerked back with this sudden realization, heart pounding roughly in his chest. "You hurt Raven because she was taking over my heart. I mean, I never loved you, so…so you had to take away what I did love. I was forgetting you. I was writing you off as nothing more than a stupid voice in my head, and you couldn't handle that. In your mind, I had to suffer because I didn't return your feelings. All of this pain and anguish because you're a fucking psychopath.

"Raven was never the cause. All she did was allow me to get closer to her. Now, she hates me and all that I am because you hurt her."

"But you're mine now, aren't you? She's gone, and I'm all you have left. Admit it, Beast Boy. You can't kill me. I'm all you have. Are you really stupid enough to kill the one person who loves you above all else?" Hope bloomed inside the Beast's chest as the possibility of Beast Boy succumbing to him burned brighter. He really wouldn't kill him. If he managed to make Beast Boy believe that he was a good thing for him, maybe things would finally go his way.

The Beast pulled his arm away from his neck gently and moved forward. Beast Boy jerked away from him, steadily moving backwards as the Beast progressed. "All you need is me, Beast Boy. We can be happy together. You won't have to pretend anymore, or wish that you were someone different. I'm all you need now. You don't have to destroy me."

Beast Boy snapped his head back when the Beast lifted his hand to caress his cheek, but when he tried to move his entire body away from him, he found that the Beast had cornered him. Shards of glass bit into his bloody back and only the adrenaline coursing through his veins kept the pain from taking over.

"Stay away from me." He forced himself not to flinching away when the Beast stood completely in front of him, hands on either side of his head. His hand grappled for a weapon to use, but all he ended up with was shredded skin from the mirror. It did not stop him, however, from ripping a long jagged shard from the worn wooden frame and clutching it behind his back. The tip bit into his lower back but he ignored it.

The Beast leaned his forehead against Beast Boy's, laughing softly. "I still can't get over the fact that you're here, in person. I never thought I would be able to see you, or touch your skin."

The Beast ran a finger against his muscled hip and Beast Boy realized that his time was limited. The Beast was too cocky now with the false knowledge that Beast Boy was in the throws of surrendering himself to him. Lessening his grip earlier had strengthened the Beast's resolve on his actions, and now, he thought Beast Boy was completely his.

Beast Boy bit back a cocky smile as the Beast trailed his finger up his chest. _Yeah, let yourself think that you won me, you stupid idiot. Get arrogant and_ _clumsy_.

The Beast smiled. "It'll be good with just the two of us, Garfield. I'll be the only person you'll need." He chuckled, leaning his body closer so there was no room between them. Beast Boy tried to hold back a shudder of revulsion and move back, for the Beast's desire was quite obvious. _Ewh, ewh, ewh, ewh. Never thought I'd be hit on by a guy. Come on, you can do this. This won't last much longer_.

"This will work out, just like I planned. You'll never have to worry about that pitiful team of yours, or that half-demon bitch playing with your heart. It's better off that they're dead."

The Beast smiled again as Beast Boy lowered his head, long tousled hair obscuring his eyes. It was then that the Beast knew he had won. Beast Boy was now his and there was so way he would kill him. It was now just taking what was rightfully his.

Boldly, he ran a claw down his stomach and traced the edge of Beast Boy's pants. "Just think. Our whole life together, just us. No team, no Raven, just me and you. Hell, now that we know how to be in the same place together, you won't even need whores to sedate your lust. I'll bet, after a few days with me, you won't even remember that slutty bitch's name."

Beast Boy's patience snapped with the Beast's last insult at Raven and he felt the anger run rampant through his system. His body trembled with the heat and Beast Boy felt what little heart he had left darken with bloodlust.

His hand tightened around the jagged strip of glass as the Beast scooted the side of his pants down on lean hip and traced the exposed skin. "You don't know how long I've waited for this, Garfield. Do you know how long I've dreamed of having you? I've wanted to touch you, to taste you, to hold you. It's been hell seeing but not feeling. Do you know what it's like? To want something so bad but have it so far out of your reach?"

A sardonic smile tugged at Beast Boy's bloody mouth as his shoulders shook with dry laughter. "Do I know? I wanted Rae for years, but she was always too far away. And when I finally got her…you take her away from me. So yeah, I know what it's like."

So smug was he about his supposed win that he missed the tightening of Beast Boy's mouth or the rage that bloomed against his skin. He was too busy watching each centimeter of exposed skin and sculpted muscle, heart stampeding with unparalleled lust. Never before had he felt his raw longing spreading through his system or felt such swelling desire. With Raven, it had been excitement and domination that had him so aroused, but that, that was nothing compared to what he felt now.

This was…heady and hot and so damn intense that the Beast let his lust cloud his judgment. His hands fisted against the band of Beast Boy's loose bottoms, face inching closer to Beast Boy's.

"It's time, Beast Boy. Now, you become mine," he growled and yanked the cloth down.

But Beast Boy jerked, right hand flying upward. He caught the glint of glass and his lust dampened as the shard of glass cleaved open his skin, destroying everything in its path. The skin of his cheek split open and sliced completely through his left eye.

The Beast howled and stumbled back, hands flying to his ruined eye. The movement sent pain racing up his leg, forcing it to buckle under the immense pressure and the Beast collapsed.

With a sneer, Beast Boy jerked his pants back around his lean hips, eyes briefly darting toward the unknown presence watching with what felt like worried fear. Anger flared when he realized it was probably on the Beast's side, which would force him to keep a sharp eye on his back.

"You fucking bastard! You just slit open my eye!" The Beast screeched, face distorted with blood and broken skin.

Beast Boy clutched tighter to his weapon, hand throbbing with the open wounds. He ignored it, instead basking in the way blood colored the once innocent glass.

"What are you doing?" He yelled, voice octaves higher as panic mounted. "You can't cheat like that!"

Beast Boy did not answer. Instead, he stalked forward, eyes black with barely suppressed rage. The Beast tried to scramble backwards, bloody hands scrapping against the hard ground, but Beast Boy stepped out, putting his foot on the Beast's broken leg. He screamed, body jerking up at the unbearable pain.

His face impassive, Beast Boy ground down harder. "It was weak of you to think that I would really let you get away with hurting Raven. You don't know me at all, Beast. If you did, you would have known that I would have done anything for Raven. I wouldn't have let you take over if you had not of struck when I was so weak. Hurting me is one thing; I could have handled that. But destroying Raven the way you did? It's unforgivable. You're death is the only way to atone for my weakness. Losing the only person who will truly love me is worth it.

"You took away everything, Beast. You took away my joy, my happiness, my love. You took my teammates trusts, their lives. And you took away Raven. She was all I wanted, but you ripped her away from me. For that…I'll gladly spend my life in solitude without you."

All traces of courage fled from the Beast's face as he struggled to rip away from unconsciousness. "You—you can't kill me. I—I'm all you have, you can't—you can't do that to yourself. I'm all you have, Garfield! You can—can't k-kill me!"

Beast Boy crouched down, sorrow leaking into his jade irises. "I'm sorry, Beast," he said softly, and without pausing, slammed the sharp tip into the Beast's heart. His eyes widened in pained shock before his body jerked with uncontrolled spasms, eyes rolling into the back of his head. Beast Boy watched mutely as the Beast struggled for breath. Blood leaked from the side of his mouth as the seizure intensified. And just as it started, it ended.

As the life drained from his body and death beckoned with sweet caresses, the Beast lifted his hand. Beast Boy met him half way, fingers locking with his.

"I…really…really did lo—," but he couldn't say more, for he coughed, blood splattering against Beast Boy's skin.

Somehow, Beast Boy managed a small smile. "I know."

"I'm sorry, Gar. So…sorry." And with tears gathering on his lashes, the Beast perished. His blood bubbled and boiled before seemingly evaporating, and his skin seem to flake away. Beast Boy sat back numbly as all traces of the Beast vanished with the fog, the mirrors around him cracking loudly and shattering around him. Shards of it bit into his skin as the glass rained down upon him, but the anguish overpowered the physical pain by a long shot.

A cold wind tugged at his hair and as Beast Boy titled his head upwards, the darkness was swept away. As light fled upon his once troubled mind, rain dribbled down, washing away the blood and pain of his battle. It did nothing for his heart, however, and as the rain pelted his skin, Beast Boy bent forward, claws digging into the ground.

The loneliness swept over him now, dispelling the light that tried vainly to soak into his heart. It was over. Everything was done. The Beast was gone. Starfire and Robin were dead. And Raven—

"Thank you."

Her voice flitted through his head and Beast Boy gave an unfeeling snort of laughter. He was losing it. His mind was caving in with all the emotional turmoil and was forcing him to hear her voice—

"Beast Boy—"

"Dammit, I don't need this! I don't need to hear her! Isn't it enough that I've lost every God-dammed thing that mattered? It's not fair to shove her in my face! Don't bring her up!" He slammed his fist against the ground, hand busting against the pressure.

"It's not fair," he murmured softly, forehead pressing against the cement.

But then he felt it; the soft, warm hand that settled over his wounded back. He wanted desperately to jerk away from it but he was too weak. Even breathing became difficult.

"Beast Boy, please. Look at me."

The figment moved slim fingers to his hair, gently smoothing it behind his ear. He flinched. "Don't do this. Please don't mess with me like that. I can't handle seeing her again."

"You felt me. I know you did. When you were battling with him, you turned to me. Don't pretend you didn't realize something was there. Beast Boy—"

He fought against her as she forced his chin up, but with his current condition, he was defenseless. He was forced to look up at her, and when his eyes landed on the innocent amethyst, Beast Boy shattered.

He wanted so badly to move, to get as far away from her as he could, but his body betrayed him and the pain finally caught up to him. His arms gave out beneath him and he fell forward.

She caught him, slim arms wrapping around his shoulders. Ever so gently, she struggled to push him back up without causing him pain. She caught his beaten face in his hands and smiled.

"I'm so glad you're okay, Beast Boy. I thought…I was so sure he would hurt you, especially when he…" Raven bit her lip slightly, thumb gently running over his swollen mouth. "I should have had more faith in your abilities."

His eyes narrowed slightly as the pain threatened to consume him. "It was you…you were the person I felt. It wasn't another personality."

She shook her head, hair gently caressing her bloody face. "When I collapsed, I used what little power I had to work my way into your mind. I had to see you, Beast Boy. I had to make sure you were okay."

Her eyes drifted to the ground. "Beast Boy…I need you to know that I don't blame you for anything. Everything that happened…it wasn't your fault. I won't allow you to think yourself guilty for what the Beast did to me. Besides," she added with a gentle wink. "I'm still as virginal as I was when I met you. The Beast did not take anything away. You'll still be my first, even if the Beast got a hold of me before you. The rape changes nothing, and I will never blame you, or myself, ever again."

He shook his head quickly, trying to pry her hands from his face so he could turn away from him. She refused to relent, and now her thumb was wiping away the blood from his bottom lip. "I can't."

"Can't what? Beast Boy, you have to look at me. We'll get nowhere without eye contact. Look at me." There was such finality in her voice that Beast Boy was given little choice in the matter.

"Please, Raven."

His entire body jerked when she brushed her lips over his bruised cheek. "Don't touch me, Raven. How can you…? How can you think to touch something as disgusting as me when I…?"

Her voice was soft and patient as she murmured, "I don't blame you, Beast Boy. You were not the one to rape me. He was. It was just a bit inconvenient that he took over your body—"

"But he was still a part of me, Raven. He was in my body, had control over my mind—"

She cut off his sentence with a sweet brush of her mouth over his. She felt him stiffen, knew he wanted to pull back, but she merely tugged him foreword so he tumbled into her lap. He froze before trying to move away, but she gently ran her fingers through his hair.

The fatigue caught up with him then, and it was all he could do kept his eyes open. "Nothing changes," she repeated, sweeping a thick lock of hair behind his shoulder. "The Beast did this, not you. There was no part of you that had anything to do with his violence. You have to understand that no one blames you. Especially me. So stop blaming yourself for something you didn't do."

"He killed…Robin and—"

"They're not dead, Beast Boy. They wouldn't die that easily. Besides, they have Cyborg to take care of them."

His fist tightened against her gown and Raven bit back a flinch as the memories bled back into her mind. She knew, however, that Beast Boy would never do such a thing as rape her again. It was just a bodily reaction to the pain.

She knew the Beast was dead now and this settled her heart. She had watched him kill the Beast, knew it was over, but the memories would still haunt her.

"How can you forgive me so easily? After…what I said to you?" His voice was weak and tired, coming out more as a slur than real words.

Her hands smoothed down his tousled hair, fingers caressing his broken skin. "Because, Beast Boy, you're not to blame." Her heart pounded roughly against her battered ribs as she added, almost in a whisper, "And because I love you."

He jerked completely off her, but only managed to aggravate his wounded hip. He yelped, couldn't help it, and collapsed back against her. "Don't say that, don't say that."

"I do, Beast Boy. I love you and I refuse to sit back and watch as you destroy yourself for something you had no part in."

His fingers accidentally brushed against her thigh as he tried to adjust his aching body, and she flinched, unable to stop it.

He stiffened before he gave a hollow laugh. "You can't even stand me touching you." Ignoring the pain, he crawled away from her, only to collapse again. His eyes fluttered shut when he realized he had fallen on the same spot he had lost the Beast, and the sorrow came again, harder, stronger this time.

"Beast Boy…" She scooted toward him, hands resting against his bloody back. Tenderly, she pulled a long shard of glass from a wound, cringing when he cried out and fisted his hands beneath his body.

"I'm sorry," she murmured and resumed stroking his skin. "But…it's hard. I don't blame you at all, but…right now, any form of touch scares the hell out of me. It's not just you. It's…anyone."

She shook her head gently when he started a chant of apologies, lowering her body so her head rested against his back. "Don't. You've nothing to be sorry for, so please. Don't."

They spend what seemed like an eternity in silence, her hands gently on his skin and his breathing smoothing out as unconscious threatened to drag him down. But it was Beast Boy who broke the silence, eyes dulled with pain.

"I killed him."

Raven closed her eyes. "I know."

"He…he said he loved me…and wanted to be with me."

Raven was fully aware of that, for she had hid in the darkness while they fought. She knew everything about them, and for it, she felt guilty. "I know."

"I took away the one person who wanted me."

"Beast Boy—"

"You don't understand, Raven. I can't go back with you once I do my time. It will be too hard. No one will forget and I can't be around to drag up old memories. It's over, Rae. It's all over, and I have nothing. Nothing at all."

She sat up, folded her legs beneath her, and forced him to lie on her lap once again. He struggled, but it didn't last long. His head settled against her thigh, and Raven was so thankful she didn't jerk back.

"I want you and," she hastily added when he tried to object, "I want you home when you do your time. I want things back as they were. I want…to give us a chance."

"I can't—"

"Do you love me?"

He was quiet for a long moment before he said, "Yes."

"Then you will try it out, won't you? Besides," she added, "I think…that maybe…I'm…" Raven frowned and shook her head. No, she didn't need to tell him that she was almost positive she was pregnant, for it would add too much stress to his already weighty shoulders. Instead, she said, "I'm ready for a life with you.

"Don't say you can't, either," she murmured. "I know you're scared. But I am, too. So damn scared that I'm tempted to hide in my room forever. Beast Boy, I want you. You won't have to be lonely anymore. I swear to you."

Beast Boy closed his eyes as tears soaked his eyelashes and threatened to fall down his cheeks. "Raven—"

"The Beast would have wanted you to be happy, Beast Boy, no matter how much he hated losing you to me. If not for me, then do it for him."

Raven pressed her forehead against his as he wept.

* * *

I am _so _sorry about waiting so long to post this, but that one-shot bugged me and I had to write it. Anyway, this chapter…uh, I don't know if I'm too pleased with it. I did work really hard on it, but I'm not sure if it's pleasing. If it's not, then I'm sorry.

Wow, I can't believe I actually added yoai into this. Never thought I'd see the day. Ah well.

I so need a beta. I was reading through The Beauty of Beast Boy and I can't count how many times I cringed at stupid mistakes. I used to have a wonderful beta, but I haven't talked to her in ages…I really need to find someone…

One chapter to go and then it's on to the White Rose: Petals of Blood…and maybe random one-shots. I am dying to write something in the Naruto fandom but I afraid to. It will probably seriously suck, especially if I attempt to write Sasuke. I think, though, that I will write something with Naruto. Just cause.

Ah, yes, in case you want to talk to me, I have AOL on my new computer (designed only for writing), which means IM. My name is JessicaMudflap (can you believe that someone took Jessemudflap? It wouldn't let me use it) so feel free to IM me anytime.


	17. Chapter Seventeen: Morgana's Light

Beast Boy walked out into the sunlight, hand lifted to shield his eyes from the unrelenting rays. He frowned slightly. It had been a year since he had last seen it, a year since he had felt the warm sun beat down upon his shoulders. And it had been a year since he had defeated the Beast and a year since he had seen her.

The Beldienhiemer Penitentiary had been his home for the past three hundred and sixty five days, its white brick walls rising towards the sun like a beacon of hope. But looks were deceiving, he murmured to himself, hands dropping limply to his sides. For inside, where his sins had haunted his mind, there was no light, no hope, no future, only metal walls and unforgiving pillars of sleek iron. Officers had meandered about, watching with detached eyes as he sat within his cell.

He had been the only prisoner there, for Cyborg had made arrangements. He did not want to take any chance of other convicts trying to kill him, for it had been obvious that Beast Boy would not fight back if the time ever arose. So he had spent his time alone, with no one to talk to, and his heart hardening with his guilt until it shattered into nothing more than dust.

They had tried to visit of course, but Beast Boy had refused to respond to anyone. She had come once; face pale and mouth turned down in a frown as she pressed her hand to her stomach. She had sat down in front of his cell, hands fisting against her shirt. He knew, though he refused to look at her, that she was uneasy, that being in his presence drug up a painful memory that ripped away at her soul. It killed him to know that she sat near him, unsteady and disgusted. That one brief moment with her inside his mind was like a dream, a wavering hallucination that he couldn't grasp with both hands.

She told him that Robin had not been killed. He had suffered a cracked skull, but there had been no swelling or internal bleeding, and at the moment, he was peacefully sleeping at the tower, where Starfire kept a close watch on him. She had survived as well, with nothing more than a few hundred stitches and bound ribs. Raven had mentioned nothing of her own scars, but before she could utter another word, she had bounded off to the nearest bathroom, where he was sure she had thrown up everything she had eaten the previous morning.

Cyborg had come then, his tone as lighthearted as it had been at the tower before things had tumbled down hill. He had apologized for Raven's sudden disappearance, and had tried futilely to joke with him. But he had not responded, merely sat in the single dingy chair that cell held, back faced toward Cyborg. He had given up, promising to come back. And he did, along with the entire team, every day for three months. But Beast Boy had been unresponsive, body as still as death.

He stopped coming, then. They all stopped coming. They called, sent notes, but he refused them all. And now, his time had come, and it was finally time to face the real world.

Beast Boy jerked away when an officer laid a reassuring hand on his shoulder. The officer sighed, reaching down to pick up his bags. "Your family is here, Beast Boy. They're waiting outside the gates."

Beast Boy flinched, and said, his first words in an entire year, "I have no family."

The man behind him sighed once again and moved in front of him. "Follow me, please."

The wind tugged at his long hair as Beast Boy hesitantly followed the man. His heart pounded roughly against his chest, his blood roaring loudly in his ears. Fear clogged his throat; nearly forced him to turn and run back into his cell, where he could hide once again from his past. It was sheer willpower that kept his feet moving.

He could see the T-Car from where he stood and froze when he watched his four teammates pile from the car. But someone reached inside the backseat, bent at the waist while Starfire moved to the other side. He couldn't tell what they were getting from where he stood, but something pulled relentlessly at his heart, and the fear mounted again.

"I can't do this," he murmured, voice hoarse as his hands fisted tightly. Blood seeped between his fingers as his dagger-like claws pierced his skin.

The guard turned to him, blinking rapidly. "Can't do what?"

"I want to go back."

He stared, couldn't help, before a laugh bubbled in his throat. "Ya know, in all my years of working here, I have never heard of a prisoner wanting to stay here."

"Take me back."

The guard shook his head. "No can do, sir. I have strict orders to hand you back to your team. You can run if you like, but you won't get far, especially with those bracelets. They won't let you shift, so…"

Horror clenched his gut as Cyborg waved heartily and called out his name. It was then that Raven moved back, a yellow baby seat held in her small hands. She sat it down softly, reaching down to undo the buckles and pull the baby from the seat.

His eyes widened painfully as Raven snuggled the infant in her arms, lifting her head slightly and meeting his gaze head on, though tall barbed wire fences separated them. His legs gave out from under him them, knees slamming against the concrete and shoulders slumping.

The gates open with a groan when the officer gave a signal to the tower guard. He sat Beast Boy's light bags down, grimaced at the broken boy on his knees, and patted his shoulder, oblivious to the raw fear that tightened the boy's muscles and clouded his eyes. "Let's hope the next time I see you you're kicking bad guy butt and not back in here."

The guard gave a small, informal salute as the four Titans moved toward their fallen teammate before turning on his heel and striding back toward the prison.

Cyborg walked up to him, flinching slightly. "I told her she should have warned you, but does anyone listen to me? _No_, they all have to be stubborn." Cyborg studied him with a calm gray eye before he reached down and hefted Beast Boy's limp body up.

"You look like hell, man. Seriously." Beast Boy snapped out of his shocked daze when Cyborg crushed him against his metal chest, arms wrapping tightly around him.

"We've missed you at the tower, Beast Boy. It'll be nice to have you back."

Beast Boy felt the panic seep into his bones as Starfire moved toward him, another car seat in her hands and a wide-eyed baby peering up at the sky with soft blue eyes.

Cyborg dropped him to his feet, hands resting on his shoulders when he teetered. He moved back, however, when Starfire handed the baby to Robin and turned to Beast Boy, eyes flooded with tears.

He tried to jerk back when Starfire grabbed him, burying her head against his neck. "We have missed you so, Beast Boy! Nothing has been the same since you left, and the tower has suffered through bouts of indissoluble silence. Well…until Phoenix and Morgana (_pronounced Mor-gah-nah_), but…It has been so lonesome!"

She pulled back with a soft grin, before reaching forward and pressing her lips against his forehead. He jerked back as if slapped and her mouth turned down in a frown. She lightened instantly, however, when her baby cooed gently.

She turned around swiftly and unbuckled her child, lifting it in her arms. She turned to him with motherly adoration in her eyes when her baby lifted tiny fingers to curl around her hair.

"Beast Boy, this is Phoenix Grayson."

He snapped his body back, however, when Starfire made a move to offer him the infant. Her frown was back, but she pulled the child closer to her chest and murmured something soft to the boy in Tameranian.

His wild eyes jumped to Robin, who moved forward to lay his hand on Starfire's shoulder. A gold ring glinted on his wedding finger as he dipped his head in greeting.

"It's good to see you again, Beast Boy. We…look forward to things going back to the way they were."

He smiled unmasked blue eyes bright with happiness. "Beast Boy…I think that there's someone you should meet."

And they parted as Raven walked forward, strides confident and eyes soft as she stood before him, the bundle in her arms shifting slightly. He tried to move, to run away and hide for the rest of eternity, but Cyborg pressed a hand to his shoulder blades, keeping him still.

Raven tilted her head up to watch him, lips curved. There was a slightly scar across her bottom lip and one that peeked from under her black blouse, near her shoulder. He remembered it, remembered the feel of her blood on his hands, and fought back the bile that rose in his throat.

Raven's eyes locked with his as she gently reached down to move the soft yellow blanket from the child's pale gray skin. "Beast Boy…this is Morgana…your daughter."

The shock was too much for his tattered mind, and before anyone could understand what was going on, Beast Boy collapsed.

* * *

Raven cursed under her breath, arms folded beneath her breast as she paced the infirmary floor, Morgana watching her blandly from her rocker. Raven stopped mid-pace, shoved her hands through her hair, and dropped down so she was eye level with her daughter.

"Your mommy's an idiot, Gana. I should have gone about telling your dad a little more smoothly." She sighed softly. "I can't believe I just popped this on him. I knew that he was unaware of you, despite all the phone calls and letters, but just walking up with you and saying he was a father? Stupid."

Morgana blinked sluggishly before her eyes drifted closed, obscuring pale green eyes, stripped with a strange mixture of gold and amethyst. They were beautiful, Raven admitted as she gently stroked the tuft of pale lavender hair. It was amazing how something so pure and innocent could come from her. She sighed again, eyes sliding toward the prone figure of Beast Boy.

She should have known things would have gone down hill when she showed him their daughter. It had been wrong to shove the sudden knowledge on him, especially after he had spent the last year in agonized solitude, no doubt pounding himself into the ground with the constant barrages of guilt. Beast Boy could harbor so much pain on his shoulders at his own doing that it was no surprise he had walked from the penitentiary as a mere shadow of the man he had once been. It had killed her, watching him as he deteriorate and their child grew within her womb, knowing that he was pulling away from them, away from _her_.

It had been his idea to lock himself in the penitentiary, his idea to have his powers locked under those stupid alien bracelets. It had also been his idea to ignore their presences and pretended as if there was truly nothing left of his life.

She ran her finger down her daughter's silken cheek before standing and plopping down rather unceremoniously into the chair at Beast Boy's bedside. Gently, she laid her hand against his, marveling at how warm it was despite the ice that chipped away at his heart.

He would try to pull away, she knew, would try to dislodge her from her idea that they were supposed to be together. She knew he would do everything in his power to find away out, to save himself from a happy life. He wanted pain, would try and force it into his heart, but she refused to allow it. She had spent the last year of her life trying to find ways to prove her love, and the last three months praying that Morgana would have some effect on him.

It scared her to think that he might not want anything to do with either of them, no matter how many tactics she used. But during the time he had been locked away, Raven learned to thrive on hope and not despair. Things would go right with them, and if they didn't, she would still have Morgana, and maybe then she could try and make Beast Boy take part in his child's life.

She had scenarios planned for almost all outcomes, and all of them had a slim thread of happiness. She found that, since her baby had been conceived, happiness had dispersed the darkness that lurked within her. It had been Morgana who had shown her that life wasn't as bad as she had made it out to be, that there could be light within an unforgivable hell. Without Morgana, she would have broken long ago.

Raven studied his features, nothing the way his skinned hugged his cheek bones and sunken eyes, the skin beneath them smudge with fatigue. "So," she murmured, lifting his hand to gently caress his cheek, "you haven't taken care of yourself."

She could stop the flinch when she moved her hand down his chest and felt the protruding ribs sharp against his skin. "You were starving yourself. Dammit, Beast Boy. Why do you do this to yourself? None of this was your fault, and yet you punished yourself to the brink of being deathly malnourished."

She moved her hand so it rested above his heart, felt it pound erratically against her palm, and glanced up to see his brow marred. He was submerging himself back into the past, where the Beast had taken hold of his life. It destroyed her to watch him suffer and Raven wished she could stop it, stop the heartache and agony that warred inside his mind.

"Beast Boy," she whispered softly, lifting her free hand to press it against his forehead. "I need you to wake for me. Please. I need you to open your eyes so I can figure out what we do next."

Knowing what she would have to do, Raven called Starfire on the intercom and asked her to get Morgana for her. When Star carried her baby into another room, Raven perched on the side of his bed and let her eyes flutter closed.

She breathed her incantation, forced her body to relax, and let her spirit drift inside his mind.

* * *

"She was pregnant. Oh God, she had a baby." Beast Boy shoved his hands through his long hair, eyes wild. "He go her pregnant, that bastard. Dammit, what I wouldn't kill to have him here so I can murder him once again." He was pacing rapidly now, muscles bunched beneath his skin.

"What am I to do? How can she sit there and look at me when I…I mean the Beast…got her pregnant against her will? Jesus, that poor child was borne out of rape, not love…at least, the Beast didn't love her. How can things have turned out like this? I thought that once I returned, everything would be fine and I could leave without a second thought. But a baby? How can I leave knowing that she's raising my child…I mean his…dammit! I can't leave her alone with a baby. But I can't stay, either. What the hell am I supposed to do?!"

Beast Boy plopped down, his energy drained, mind racing with possible outcomes. He leaped up a second later and resumed pacing when a new idea popped up. "I have it! I just…won't wake up. I'll stay here forever, and then I won't have to make any rash decisions. Weak, yes, but it'll be better for everyone. Ha! So simple. Hide in here forever. Why did I not think of this before?" But he sighed softly, plowing all ten fingers through his hair. He flinched when his claws nicked his scalp. He really should have cut those after an entire year…

He didn't see her, couldn't feel she was there until she said softly, "She needs a father, Beast Boy."

He yelped, whirling around and heart pounding roughly against his ribs. He scrambled backwards, trying to force a hefty distance between them. "Wha…what are you d-doing here?"

And after an entire year, Beast Boy was finally forced to see her. She was still beautiful, hair longer now, hitting just below her shoulders and eyes soft with emotions. Her body had filled out more, probably because she was now a mother…

Panic raged again, smothered his logical thinking and locked the breath within his lungs so he was gasping for air. The guild claws in his stomach as he moved away from her again. His back hit solid wall, caging him in as she walked forward slowly, hands fisted lightly at her side.

"Please stop running, Beast Boy." She reached out a slim hand and pressed it against his chest. He flinched against her touch.

"He…oh God, Raven. I am so sorry. If I'd have known…"

"You would have run," she admitted softly. "You would have run from us, from _her_, and would have never looked back."

He felt the tears clog his throat, felt the horrible burn behind his eyes and wished for the umpteenth time for death.

"She's three months old now. When you come back, you can be the father she needs. I can't do it alone, Beast Boy. Morgana…she needs you." Her eyes drifted down to the ground, teeth worrying her lower lip. When she glanced up, her eyes were bright with pain. "I need you. Don't…don't abandon me again, not when I need you most. You did it once, but now's your time to atone for it. Come back to me, Beast Boy. Please."

He flinched again, hands fisting against his sides. "How can…how can you still want me? I…he raped you and got you pregnant…with my body. I let him. Can't you see that it was my fault? If I'd have tried harder, fought more against him—"

She shook her head and lifted a slim finger to his lips to stop him from talking. "Don't you see? Morgana is the best thing that happened to me. I don't care how she was created, because no matter how you look at it, she is the one thing that holds me to this world. How do you think I handled it when you left? I needed you to take away the nightmares and console the tears, but you were dead set on leaving me."

"I had to be punished."

"No, Beast Boy. That wasn't punishment. It was hiding. The only one you punished was me for leaving me alone to deal with all the agony. I could handle the wounds without fail, but my mind was riddled with such hurt that it became hard to breathe. I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, couldn't _live _those past few months. All I wanted was you, but you were hiding away from me, from your problems."

He jerked as if slapped, eyes wide with desperation. "I was trying to atone—"

"Dammit, Beast Boy, you were hiding! You couldn't stand being around me because it brought back memories, but how the hell do you think it felt when I came to see you and you refused to acknowledge me, as if I was something beneath you, something sick and disgusting? You turned me away when I need you most, so don't give me your bullshit about atoning for your sins. If you wanted to atone, you would have stayed with me, helped me through all the pain the Beast put me through. You could have faced your fears, could have help me through my depression, but you hid like a coward. No one faulted you for anything, but you just _had_ to punish yourself because then you wouldn't have to deal with the Beast's trash!"

"Raven—"

"No! You left me there to suffer so you could hide away from mistakes that you _never even made_. It was a different fucking being, someone who was stuck within your mind, and you blame yourself? He used your body, but that was it! Did you tell him to rape me? Did you tell him to try and kill me? No, god-dammit, you didn't. You couldn't have stopped him if you had the strongest will in the world. I'm not stupid, Beast Boy. You had no part in my pain, and in the end, you killed him, but oh, let's run you into the ground for no fucking reason! Yes, let's run away so Raven can deal with everything shoved on her and nearly break under the pressure. Let's hide like a coward while she raises a child by herself, and hey, while we're at it, let's lock you inside your head so she can go on handling everything by herself, let her raise our child because you have to find a reason to blame yourself for something that you couldn't have stopped."

She jerked her hands from his skin like it had burst into flames. "You weren't there when the morning sickness hit, you weren't there when I went through all the disgusting food that I just _had_ to have. You weren't there when I found out she was a girl, and you weren't there when I saw her little heart beating for the first time." The pain weighed down on her heart, and before she could stop it, the floodgates crashed open and she was sobbing for the first time since she knew she would have to handle everything alone.

"You weren't there when she kicked for the first time, or when my water broke. Dammit, you weren't there when I went into labor or when she was born. You weren't there when she wouldn't go so sleep and I would stay up until odd hours until the morning, rocking her to sleep while I prayed that you were with me, giving me some sort of comfort. I tried over and over to contact you, hoping that you would answer and know about Morgana, but you refused. I couldn't even get inside your head because you blocked me out. It's a bloody wonder you let me in here now.

"Tell me, where the hell is penitence in that? Shoving me away while you drowned in your own sorrow for no reason? I was the one who was punished because of you. I was the one who had to suffer while you shoved me away time after time. _I was the one who paid for you selfishness_. And now you want to lock yourself inside you mind so you can get away from the guilt? Be my guest, jackass. I lived my life alone for the past year, and I can do it again. Morgana will not be punished because of your stupidity, and I will raise her with love, despite the fact that her father refuses to have anything to do with her because he's a fucking coward!"

She gave the tears no heed as she shoved her fingers through her hair and gave a hollow laugh. "And you know I actually planned on coming here to try and get you back? I wanted to come inside your mind, prove to you that I love you and want you to be there for Morgana. But you know what? I don't think I'll even get through to you. You feel so sorry for yourself that you'll hurt anyone close to you. I won't put Gana through that. She deserves better than someone who blames himself for something so pitiful while I suffer. Stay in here if you like, but I'm tired of waiting for you to grow up."

Raven closed her eyes as she turned her back on him, hastily wiping away the tears. She hadn't meant to blow like that, but he had been so damn pitiful, so damn condemning for no reason that she had just ruptured. _Well, so much for ending up with a happy ending_, she murmured to herself, and, ignoring the pleading voice of Beast Boy, drifted back to her own body.

* * *

Raven moved off the bed once her spirit returned, rubbing her tired eyes as her feet touched the floor. So it's over, Knowledge said softly within her mind. There's nothing left with him now.

"Yes…it really is over." Her heart clinched, tears clogging her throat, but she refused to let them fall. No, when she walked back into the main room, she wouldn't let her daughter see her pain. Despite the fact that Morgana couldn't comprehend her mother's agony, she didn't want her daughter to grow up surrounded by pain and sorrow, as Raven's mother had put her through. It wasn't fair to the innocent Morgana and she swore she would raise that child right, no matter how little confidence she had in herself.

So she swept her hand across her eyes, straightened her shoulders, and walked toward the door. She knew that once she crossed that threshold, she would forget about Beast Boy. She would stop praying for his return, stop asking for him to get to know his daughter. She would stop wishing that he cared enough for her to want to right his wrongs, no matter how miniscule they were. And it would be over. For good. She would start a new page and burn her past. Morgana was all she need now and was all she needed to make this life enjoyable. She didn't need him, though her heart wept with her loss.

As she approached the door, trying futility to stomp down the pain in her chest, he called her name, voice hoarse from misuse. Her body stiffened as her feet froze. She wanted so badly to turn, so rush to him and rain kisses (and random hits) over his face. Raven forced her body still, however, refusing venomously to give into her weak heart. Her defenses had broken down since Morgana, but now it seemed like a weakness. It was a double-edged sword that ripped apart her soul and left her bleeding.

"Stop, Rae. Please." She closed her eyes as she bit back a groan. His voice was pleading, tugging at her and nearly forcing her to turn to him.

"I've said all I have to say, Beast Boy. Anymore and I'll need a dust pan to sweep up the pieces."

She heard him move, bit back a flinch when his scent washed over her, but he didn't touch her. She was thankful for the fact, for she had no idea how she would have reacted. With her luck, she would have burst into uncontrollable sobs. "I…haven't said what I needed to."

She folded her arms beneath her breast as if cold. "You had plenty of chances to say what you needed when you locked yourself away. You could have at least written back."

"I am so sorry," he murmured, pain lacing his words. "I…I didn't know I was hurting you."

"Oh, don't give me that bull. You knew good and well that you were punishing me. Were you so disgusted at me that you couldn't even look at me? Did it sicken you to look at the Beast's garbage?"

He looked horror-struck, face draining of color. "Oh God, Raven, how could you think—"

"What else was I supposed to think? You refused to look at me, to talk to me, to even acknowledge I existed. It was all I could think. You were revolted because he destroyed my body. I wouldn't be any use to you anymore because he took everything away."

He did touch her now, gently grabbing her shoulders and turning her to face him. His hands lifted to her jaw, cupping her skin tenderly. She tried not to flinch as memories roared into her mind.

"How could you ever think I would look at you any differently? It's not your fault…it never was your fault."

"It's not yours either, and yet you hurt yourself, hurt me. Where's the logic in that? Why would you leave me alone just to force yourself into oblivion?"

"Raven, you don't understand."

She forced her eyes to his. "Then make me."

He started at his hands, resting so casually against her shoulders before drawing back slowly, hands clenching.

She barked out a hollow laugh. "You can't even stand to touch me."

"Raven, please—"

"No." She shook her head, stepping back away from him. "No more, Beast Boy. You've proven that you don't want me, and it's obvious that you…don't want Morgana, so I think it best that you lay down. Once you feel better, you can leave, and forget all about us."

She walked away from him, arms tightening around her torso. She wouldn't give into the helpless tears that clogged her throat. She was stronger than that, had proved it many times when she struggled through motherhood alone. Robin had helped for the first week of Morgana's life, but Phoenix had been born and he had wondered off to do his fatherly duties. Cyborg hadn't been much help, for he flitted around the baby and panicked over each cry she gave. He wouldn't even hold her, for fear of crushing her in his metal arms. But she had handled it and she would keep on until Morgana no longer needed her. She didn't need a man in her life, not when Morgana was the only person in it. Maybe, one day, if Morgana really need a father, she would look, but now, there was no need.

"Listen to me."

She sighed, turning around to face him to stop it all; to severe all ties with him. But one look at the power in his eyes put a halt to all logical thinking. Emotions she had long buried clogged her throat, for the last time he held such strength in his eyes was when the Beast had been dormant and he was laughing and joking with vigor.

His hands hovered over her shoulder before he jerked them back with a curse. Her eyes fluttered shut as her heart gave an uncomfortable tug. "Stop, Beast Boy. If you can't even touch me, then—"

"Dammit, Rae, if you'd shut up for a minute and listen to me, when can get through this a whole lot faster."

Her mouth snapped closed in aggravation, eyes narrowing as she ground her teeth together. "Fine," she bit out, hands fisting.

Beast Boy shoved his fingers through his hair before he started to pace. She refused to follow his movements, so she set her eyes straight ahead.

"Rae, I can't touch you because I know it bring back memories. My skin can't touch yours because I'm reminded of watching him hurt you while I sat back and did nothing." He held up a hand when she opened her mouth to protest and she turned her head away with a growl.

"I'm scared to death to touch you because he hurt you with my own hands, and I'm terrified that you'll jerk away from me because of it. I can't stand the thought of you pulling away from me, so if I don't touch you, you won't have to. I don't want to put you through those memories when I can prevent them."

"Then why did you jerk away from me when I touched you?"

His hands fluttered helplessly at his side. "It's because when you touch me, I want nothing more than to hold you."

She hesitated at that. "You don't want to touch me, I understand, but why did you push me away? You didn't have to touch me to help me, Beast Boy."

Wearily, he rubbed his palms over his face. "Rae, I ignored you because I thought you were forcing yourself to be kind. You didn't want to be there and it was so obvious. I figured that—"

"You're right on one part," she murmured. "I didn't want to be there." She grabbed hold of his arm as he passed by, ignoring the way his muscles stiffened beneath her touch. "Beast Boy, I didn't want to be there, but it's not the reason you think. I didn't want to be there because you were forcing yourself to suffer for no reason at all. You belonged at home with your team, not there. You went through a year of solitude for stupid reasons and let me suffer, so I'm going to turn back now and go to my daughter. I won't be trampled on again, Beast Boy."

He reached out when she turned from him, hands tightening slightly over her upper arm. She did flinch this time, lips pressed together as she unconsciously stiffened as she waited for a blow that would never come.

He pulled back. "See? You cringe when I touch you."

She twisted around, chin jutting upwards as her eyes clashed with his. "And you expect differently? Beast Boy, I was raped. I flinch away from everyone. It's not just you. The only person who can touch me is Morgana. Starfire, Robin, and Cyborg all get the same response from me. I can't be touched unexpectedly without lashing out in some way. Never think for a moment that I'm pulling away from you. I'm pulling away from memories that I've been haunted with for a year now."

His eyes were dark again, coating his irises black as he stared at his hands, palms turned upward. "It was these hands that hurt you, Raven."

Hesitantly, she laid her palm against his. "These hands ever hurt me, Beast Boy. It was the Beast's. Just because he took over you body doesn't mean that it was you who did all those horrible things. Don't you understand what I'm trying to say? It was never your body that hurt me, not when your mind was being locked away. If your body is held hostage, it's no longer yours."

His wounded eyes searched hers as her fingers curled around his hand. "But how could you stand looking at this pitiful excuse for a body when it hurt you so bad?"

Her fingers moved over his wrist, gently tracing the vein which throbbed with each beat of his heart. "When I look at you, I don't see the body that caused me so much pain. All I see is the innocent boy whom I fell in love with. But of you can't live with what the Beast did, then I won't ask you to stay. Looking at me must be hard, I know, but I can't wait while you decide if I'm worth it or not. I have a daughter to raise."

When she tried to pull her hands away from him, however, his fingers closed over her, preventing her from moving. "Hear me out, Raven, without interruptions."

Before he could say a word, however, the infirmary doors opened with a _swish_ and Starfire walked in with a wailing infant. Her cheeks were flushed with slight panic. "Raven! Morgana will not stop the wailing and I tried everything. Food, diaper change, toys, her favorite blanket, but nothing stops it. Phoenix is upset as well, and Robin is no good when it comes to upset babies and—" She broke off her own sentence when she noticed Beast Boy. His wide eyes were on the baby in her arms.

"Oh…Beast Boy. I take it you are fairing better?"

He could only nod as Morgana's sobs rose drastically in volume. Raven glided forward and lifted her daughter in her arms. Above the cries, Starfire said, "I am sorry I was of no help."

Raven shook her head absently as she adjusted the infant in her arms, gently laying her over her shoulder and patting her tiny back. "No problem. She just has a stomach ache. She's been quite gassy the past few days. It'll be fine in a minute." As Starfire turned to leave, she added nonchalantly, "Take Beast Boy with you. He's fine enough to lie in his own room."

Starfire eyes were hesitant as she looked at Beast Boy. He shook his head, eyes steady on Raven's—no, _their_—daughter. "Umm…"

"Go, Starfire." Beast Boy said softly.

She nodded and walked out of the room, throwing one last glance at Raven, who was walking slowly across the floor, hands soothing on her daughter's back. "I know it hurts, baby, but it'll be gone in a minute." She laughed softly when Morgana hiccupped, tiny body jerking slightly and sob catching. "Shh, it's okay. Momma's right here."

Beast Boy watched her as she cooed to her child, eyes soft and tone soothing. Raven knew her daughter, for the crying stopped a few minutes later. Now, all the baby did was hiccup now and then.

With nothing distracting her, Raven glanced at him before turning her body away. "Now's not the time to discuss—"

"Can I hold her?"

Raven turned quickly to face him, disrupting Morgana and causing her to cry softly. Quickly, she murmured to her until the baby was a peace once again.

"What?" Raven knew she had heard wrong, though it did nothing to stop the erratic beating of her heart or the hope that bloomed within it.

Beast Boy regretted asking almost immediately, for the joy in her eyes nearly undid him. He had so much to really atone for, and maybe, holding his daughter would pave the way to fix all the pain he unknowingly shoved on Raven.

"Can I…hold her?" He asked again, slowly, almost as if weighing his own words.

Raven stared at him, body unconsciously bouncing Morgana as her mouth opened in bewildered shock. "I…umm…you want to hold her?"

He nodded hesitantly, hands clenching and unclenching at his side. Raven glanced down at the infant, almost as if debating if she should risk it. Beast Boy hastily said, "You know, never mind. Don't worry about."

It was obvious she didn't trust him, and it was understandable. He had left her alone for reason that he now realized were stupid. Putting her baby in his arms would be stupid, especially when his hands had hurt her, no matter how many times she denied it. Besides, he thought sadly, I don't know if I could manage to hold her without breaking.

Raven frowned slightly, glancing down at Morgana with raw adoration. "Come get her."

He stared, eyes widening. "What?"

Her chin jutted up defiantly, and Beast Boy didn't realize how much he missed it till his heart thudded pleasantly inside his chest.

"Prove to me that you really want to try, if that's the case. I'll toss out the past if you can come here and take her, without me handing her to you. I want you to come to me and get your daughter. It'll mean you have to touch me, however, and if you do, I can promise you the only one who'll pull away will be you."

Her eyes flashed with heat, reminding him of the past, back into the days when he was falling head over heels for her despite the fact that the team had just been started. "I…"

"If you don't come to get her, then there is no chance for us. We can't repair things if you don't. I'll understand completely if you don't want anything with me, considering my body isn't something pleasant to look at and my people skills are a bit rusty. I understand if nothing between us can ever be mended, but I do ask that you at least get to know your daughter. If not, then I can handle that as well. I can raise her on my own, though I'd rather have you with me. But now, the decision is up to you. Remember, I won't wait forever."

His mind raced as his pulse pounded in his throat. His mind begged him to turn tail and run away from this, to bury his past and start on a future that didn't entitle waking up every morning to the woman whom his personality tortured unmercifully and the daughter who was created out of hate. But it was his heart that soothed the hesitation and made his feet move toward them slowly, his heart that consoled his spirit as he reached out with hesitant hands to touch the baby.

His fingers hovered over her cheek, his entire body shaking with uncertainty. Raven watched him intently, amethyst eyes searching hims for any sign of emotions. All she could read was the insecurity, the sorrow, and the hope at hopefully starting anew. Her heart leaped into her throat when he allowed his finger to touch their daughter's silken cheek, still wet with tears.

And he took the baby into his arms without a thought, holding her close to his chest as all the pain, all the guilt and agony vanished without warning, replacing it with something heavy and wonderful and mind-numbing. His heart fluttered when his daughter open amazing green eyes to watch him, tiny hand fisting against a strand of hair that brushed against it.

Beast Boy smiled softly, mouth soft with unsuppressed emotions. "Hey, little one. Guess you have no idea who I am. That's my fault. I hid away from you like an idiot, blaming myself for hurting your mother. I'm pretty stupid, Morgana. Well, it's not surprising, really, considering my childhood." Gently, he removed his hair from her grasp and replaced it with his index finger, marveling at how tiny her hand was when it wrapped around it, pale skin clashing against his green.

"I'm so sorry I was never there for you, little one. I wasn't there for the most important moments, like your first breath, or first cry. But I swear to you I'll be there from now on, no matter how much guilt ways down in me. I'll be there for your mom, too," he said softly, but his eyes were on Raven. "That is, if she'll have me, after I screwed up so much."

His eyes fluttered down to his child once again, smiling again as her eyes roamed over his face in avid fascination. "I hurt your mom without thinking. I locked myself away from her, shut off my mind so she couldn't contact me, all because I thought that looking at me or hearing my voice would destroy her again. I thought if I stayed away from her that she could heal, that cutting all ties with her was in her best interest. But I was wrong. I hurt her, and you, too, though I'm sure you don't realize it."

He didn't realize he had moved toward Raven until he glanced up and found her watching him with bright eyes, small hand reaching up to move a tuft of dark lavender hair from Morgana's forehead.

"She looks exactly like you," he said softly. Morgana's yawned loudly, drawing a chuckle from Beast Boy's chest as her eyelids slipped down over her eyes.

"She's quite taken with you."

His eyes slid over Raven's features, doubt clouding his eyes. "Do you want her back?"

She shook her head, taking a slow step back. "She's content where she is."

Beast Boy stared down at the infant once again. He knew, without a doubt, that this was not the Beast's child, as he had thought when he saw her. No, this was his, no matter if the Beast had raped Raven. This was his child, his responsibility, and his hew future. The Beast seemed like a distant past now, locked away with the guilt and pain that he had lived with the past few years. Morgana washed all those horrid memories away, replacing it with utmost love. This child belonged to him, belonged to Raven, and he would be damned if he let it all slip through his fingers.

"I'll make it up to you," he said softly, his eyes lifting to Raven's. "I'll make up for everything I missed out on. I…won't run away anymore. Raven…I'm yours. That is, if you'll have me. I did screw up quite badly, now that I think about. Locking myself in the penitentiary was stupid, but I just couldn't go back, not when I was so sure that Robin and Starfire had been killed. It was hard, but now... now I'm ready. For everything. I want to be with you, Rae. Morgana as well, and I swear on all that is holy, I will stop blaming myself for what happened. I'll fix his wrongs, and my own as well. Morgana won't grow up without a father. Will you…forgive me?"

He frowned when she sighed heavily, hands lifting in a shrug. "I dunno, Beast Boy. You do look like a girl, you know, with all that long hair…what will people think when they see me with you?"

"Raven," he said, voice dull with annoyance. "I do not look like a girl."

A smile twitched at the corner of her mouth, but her face was nonetheless composed. "Get a hair cut and I'll think about it."

She pressed her lips together at his amusing look of irritation before her looks smoothed with seriousness. "Beast Boy…you do know that it'll be awhile before I can…handle…sex, right? I mean, despite the fact that I have Morgana, I'm still as virginal as I was before. It might take a lot of time for me to warm up to the idea. I…understand completely if you can't handle that and go off on your own, but just promise me you'll still come to see Morgana—"

She jerked in surprise when he laid one long finger against her mouth, Morgana adjusted comfortably in the crook of his free arm. He smiled softly, though his eyes were still dark with uncertainty. "I don't need sex, Rae. Not when you're giving me another chance. I feel like I'm the one who should be giving you something."

Raven moved in front of him, rising on her tiptoes ever so slightly to peer down at her daughter's face. "There is something you can give me, Beast Boy, but it all depends on if it's there or not."

"I'll give you anything I can, Rae. Just tell me what it is."

She watched a stray strand of hair fall over his shoulder and reached out to gently curl it around her finger. Hesitantly, she let her eyes met his. "All I want is…your love." She added hastily, "But I am completely okay with you not loving me, what with our rocky past and all—"

"Raven."

She growled and forced a scowl to her features. "What? It's not wrong to ask for the person you love to love you back, right?"

Beast Boy rolled his eyes. "Don't get defensive."

"Well, you asked, so I answered. Now, it would make more sense to lay her down than having you lug her around—"

"What's with you and never letting me answer?"

She scowled, hands moving away from him so she could fold her arms over her chest. "What's with you and always interrupting me?" She retorted quickly, mouth twisting with a frown.

He raised an eyebrow, his heart amazingly light after being so hollow for so long. "Touché," he murmured with a smile, watching the tick form on her forehead.

"Fine," she snapped, hands itching to smack his smirk right off his face. "What were you going to say?"

He shook his head at her anger, marveling how well Morgana was handleing it. She was still peacefully sleeping, mouth twitching every once in a while, almost as if she was amused at her mother's attitude.

"I was going to say, before you so rudely interrupted me, that I can't give you something you already have."

Her scowl faltered as a blush bloomed across her cheeks and down her neck. "That was corny," she said sulkily after a long, uncomfortable silence.

Her shoulders stooped in embarrassment when he burst into uncontrollable laughter, trying desperately to muffle it when Morgana jerked awake in his arms with something akin to annoyance skittering across her features. Beast Boy knew he was imagining it, but it made the laughter increase nonetheless.

By the time the mortification had passed, Beast Boy was snorting his amusement and Raven had no other choice but to pull Morgana from his arms. He moved away from her, hands flittering quickly as he tried to stop his laughter. Sentence broken by amusing—and rather loud--chuckles, Beast Boy said, "God, your face. Priceless. Can't believe you said that of all things." He snorted again, hands shoved nonchalantly through his hair as a grin fought to be seen. "I practically proclaim my love, and you call me corny. That is…God, I've missed that."

Raven glanced down at her daughter as the blush crept back up. She couldn't help but mutter to her daughter, "Do you see what your father does to me? Only man to make be blush while he sits there making fun of me." Raven swore she saw a ghost of a smile dace over her daughter's mouth, but she knew it had to be a trick of the light.

"I'm sorry, I really am, but it was just something you would have said before everything started to crumble. It…feels really good to laugh again," he added softly, swiping the back of his hand across his eyes to catch the tears of laughter that threatened to fall down his cheeks.

"At my expense, nonetheless," she scowled, but her eyes were soft again.

"Well, of course." He moved toward them, thankful that she didn't flinch away from him when he was within touching distance. "But all corniness aside, I really do want to be with both of you. I'm already madly in love with Morgana, even if I've only known she existed since today. But you…well, you I've been in love with for years. It just took me awhile to realize it."

He trailed a finger over his daughter cheek again. Raven watched it, heart pounding roughly against her ribs. "So…what do we do now?"

His eyes lifted to hers slowly. "The real question, I think, is where do we begin?"

* * *

"Come on, baby. Come to daddy. There's a good girl. Now walk to me. Yeah, that's it, little one. You can do it. If _I_ can walk, than it's a sure sign you can."

"Got the camera!" Cyborg quickly popped the tape into the recorder, pressed record, and giggled like a little girl when Morgana made a move to walk by herself for the first time.

"Come to daddy," Beast Boy cooed, crawling down on all fours so he was eye level with his daughter. Morgana watched him before bursting into adorable laughs, her face crinkled and eyes light with amusement

Starfire smiled as she watched, handing her curious son a toy as he observed Morgana with fleeting interest. Her husband was right beside Beast Boy, trying to tempt the toddler with a treat.

Raven held her daughters hands as she teetered on tiny legs, long hair falling over her should as she leaned down to ask Morgana, "You ready? You want to walk to daddy?"

Morgana giggled, bouncing in joy when Cyborg plopped down beside his two male teammates, recorder steady in his hands. "I'm going to let you go now, okay, munchkin? Ready?" Raven asked with a grin.

"One." Morgana squealed, hands tugging to loosen themselves from her mother's soft hands.

"Two." She was bubbling with excitement now, tiny body nearly quaking with delight.

"Three." And the second she was let go, Morgana took off, legs bowlegged as she waddled to her father. She nearly fell once, in which all adults jerked up to catch her, but she regained her balance quickly and was moving again in no time flat.

Beast Boy was almost as excited as the toddler, body bouncing with excitement. He laughed and scooped his daughter up high, raining proud kisses over her face while she chortled. "There's my girl. Knew you could do it."

"Ha! Got it all on tape, right along with Phoenix's first steps. This, my friends, is a masterpiece. I need to make thousands of copies so if it gets lost, then we'll have a butt load." Cyborg cackled as he held the recorder to his chest. "Must go do this now!"

Starfire watched Cybog dart off to his room in amusement, eyebrow raised and grin dancing on her mouth.

Raven shook her head. "How interesting." But she smiled, her body relaxing as Beast Boy tossed their daughter into the air, grinning at Morgana's high gasps of laughter. Two years had passed since the Beast had been let loose, yet it all seemed like it was nothing more than a dream.

Beast Boy stopped blaming himself for the Beast's actions, and was now as happy as he had been when the team had first started. The light now bled back into his eyes and he proved to be an amazing father, never once complaining when he changed diapers, or soothed tears. He was kind and patient, always laughing at his daughter's antics.

He had waited while she tried to adjust to having him around, waited while she tried to console her fears of being touched. Raven was now comfortable with kissing and skin contact, though she was still wary of anything beyond that. She had tried once, but the panic had set in and they stopped as she fought back the agony the memories brought up. Beast Boy had handled it perfectly, and even told her that when she wanted it, she would be the one to initiate contact.

And now, as she watched his chuckle at something Morgana did, she felt the familiar tug at her stomach. This time, however, it was accompanied by something foreign. She knew what it was without thought, and her body softened completely. Raven smiled as her body finally broke away from the memories and reached out for new ones. Now, she was completely ready to give Beast Boy the last part of her.

* * *

Gently, Beast Boy tucked his daughter in, brushing his mouth over her forehead before he laid a large hand over Raven's.

"Can you believe she walked for the first time? It was amazing. Who would have thought that something we do everyday would end up being one of the most important things to witness in Morgana?"

"Hmm…you know, she taken on more of your personality that anyone. I've never seen such a happy baby before." Raven leaned back against his chest, smiling knowingly when he stiffened slightly.

"I know. She never really causes us any problems."

Raven shook her head, a smirk dancing on her features as she turned in his grasp, arms snaking around his waist. His eyes widened as she slipped both hands under his shirt, fingers dancing slowly up his back.

"I've been thinking that we don't have enough fun," she said nonchalantly, eyes laughing as his body twitched.

"Not…enough fun?" He squeaked before clearing his throat and added, his voice much deeper, "I don't think I understand."

He stumbled back when she pressed forward, forcing him to move toward the door, smirk widening when he nearly went sprawling as he tripped over a toy. "We don't have much fun. Robin and Starfire get to play all the time when Phoenix is sleeping."

"Really?" His voice raised an octave higher as they walked from their daughter's room.

She pulled back away from him, letting her fingers skim over his ribs as she turned her back to him, hands clasping innocently behind her. "I was thinking of a game," she said casually, a girlish skip in her step.

"A game?"

She smiled as she turned the corner. "Must you repeat me? Yes, a game."

He fought back the urge to hook a finger in his collar and pull the material away from his tight throat. There was something in her tone that had his blood boiling in his veins and his body responding with vigor.

They made it to her door, Beast Boy's heart beating frantically in his chest. The door swished open, but Raven made no move to walk in. From where he stood, he could see the bed and his heart stopped completely. Raven had completely redecorated her room, tossing away every piece of furniture that reminded her of the Beast. The walls were pained a dark purple, the bed a stark white against the darkness. It was rather catchy, he admitted, doing everything in his power to stop thinking about taking Raven to that innocent bed.

"What…kind of game?"

She threw him a mischievous smile as she backed into the room, making sure the door stayed open as she tapped her finger against her mouth. "Well, since you asked so nicely…I was thinking about playing…" She grinned widely now, noting the way sweat beaded his forehead.

"Cops and Robbers."

Raven threw back her head and laughed when Beast Boy choked and grabbed a hold of the front of his shirt, the material bunched in her small fists. "Unless you have something against the game…?"

"No!" He snapped quickly, eyes wide with shock. "No, good game, very good game."

Suddenly, his eyes darkened with heat and a roguish grin spread over his full mouth. "So long as I get to play the robber."

Raven chuckled and gently pulled him into her room, the doors swishing closed behind them.

* * *

Well, that's it, folks. The Beast Within had finally been completed. Hope it satisfied you, because I'm quite proud of it. I think it was a cute way to end it, but if you're unhappy with it, well…

My baby Delani finally had her kittens today. It's her first—and last—litter of kittens. She had five, which is quite amazing, and all of them are healthy, so this chapter was written in my excitement of it all. I've waited for what seemed like years. So, this chapter is dedicated to Delani and her tiny kittens.

Okay, you stop laughing now…


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